My husband just doesnt act like he loves me anymore. Like this morning, im sitting right here in the kitchen he he just walks out for work w/o a kiss , a hug, a bye, nothing. no word, nothing. i dont even remember the last time he actually kissed me. i always kiss him. i think the last time that he kissed me was a year 1/2 ago. and i dont remember a time he told me he loved me. I always, ...ALWAYS tell him and kiss him. I dont beleive he loves me, AT ALL? Anyone else think that too? He doesnt know but im always crying about it. And I cant talk to him about it b/c those subjects get him real mad. Im just not an idiot, i know somethings wrong. =(
2007-01-15 00:04:18 · 24 answers · asked by jessnclh 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
hes prob. just staying w/ me b/c of 2 kids and another on the way. beleive me... he does NOT act like he loves me at all. and remember i cant say anything to him b/c he gets pissed off. its hard to talk to him.
2007-01-15 00:07:03 · update #1
i did try leaving once to my moms, he didnt care, he didnt call,... nothing. and i dont beleive he'll die if i left him, i think hed be MUCH happier. but unlike him... i cant live w/o him. =(
2007-01-15 00:17:11 · update #2
Talk to him asap. Actually, if it were me I would call him up right now and ask him why he didn't kiss me goodbye.
It doesn't matter if he gets mad, this marriage is about YOU too!
2007-01-15 00:08:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
One thing I might suggest though is rather than trying to make him understand how you feel, try to find out if their is something causing his lack of attention. Are you in serious financial trouble and he is the sole provider and manager of your finances? Is he having trouble at work - deadlines, bad supervisors, threats of layoffs/closures. It is possible the source of his in attention has nothing to do with you.
Something else you can try. When he comes home from work, don't make a production about how you feel or what you want from him. Instead, just offer to give him a massage. If you have kids, get a sitter and plan a night out - even if it's just dinner. But don't spring it on him when he gets home. Call him at work and tell him to meet you at a certain place when he gets off.
However, if you feel he doesn't love you and he is unwilling to talk when you bring up the subject, maybe it's time to start thinking about living your life without him. I'm not the type to go into a marriage thinking divorce is an option, but I also believe there is no reason to stay in an unhappy marriage just because marriage is supposed to be "until death do you part".
Edit based on your additional details:
It sounds to me like your marriage is over in all but the the details. I'm sure you love him and believe he is your life. But if you are miserable now it's only going to get worse. If you left him once and he didn't care then you never should have gone back.
2007-01-15 08:15:32 · answer #2 · answered by Justin H 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went through that with my wife and I was the bad guy.
I wouldn't kiss her and hardly ever had sex together and I was miserable,
She started to worry that our marriage was failing. She ended up with a complex thinking something was wrong with her.
No matter what she did to make her self look good for me it didn't work. She thought I was having an affair, It got real bad bewteen us and the crying all the time.
We argued and it got worse.
In 1995 I went to the VA Hospital and we dicovered that I was Bi-Polar and suffering from Depression and Anxiety Disorder and to top it off there was a probability of Paranoid Schizophrenia
Once I got on my medicine...things started to change. I was happy again and my emotions with my wife has been awesome ever since. She helped me pull through a most difficult time in my life and I didn't even know I was sick.
We are still married now at 25 years and I'm here to tell ya the spark in our marriage has lit up again and the flame of desire burns.
What looks like a failed marriage with the kids and all looked hopeless, but my wife was determined not to give up on me. She knew something was wrong and we made it through that storm.
Because of her I filed a claim with the VA for a Service Connected Disability and we came into a six figure back pay.
I'm not saying that this is the case in your marriage, but what I am saying that there is a problem and it might be something else.\
Maybe he is not happy sexually with you anymore...it could be anything, but don't give up on him yet. Seek out an answer and discover the truth behind him that plagues your marriage right now and then it might get better when you know what is wrong.
You can't fix what you don't know is broken.
Good Luck
God Speed to you!!
2007-01-15 08:21:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been in a similar situation with an ex partner. It's obviously a lack of communication between the 2 of you. Maybe if you approach him in a way that isn't threatening e.g instead of saying "you make me feel.." use "When this happens I feel.." Maybe ask his opinion on where things are at and try to get him to open up a bit more. Sometimes it can be a heap of things like stress at work etc. But still, it's not worth staying in a relationship where you feel unloved. If it can't be resolved because he won't open up and he get's mad, there isn't a lot you can do, other than end things, which is extreme, but if he isn't wanting to communicate with you and treat you like a husband, it's not worth staying.
2007-01-15 08:15:35 · answer #4 · answered by Ritual.Hate.Construct 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ann Landers used to say " Would you're life be better with him or without him?" to decide if you want a divorce or not. You could go for counseling, but if he refuses to go with you, it would be tricky to solve the problem. If he gets mad discussing problems that doesn't seem to be a good sign. There could be a million reasons why he is acting this way and you would be racking your brains out trying to figure him out. Communication is a major key to healthy relationships. You don't seem to have that here. Sometimes you never will know all the secrets a man can keep from you, but you still have your own life to live and enjoy. Life is too short to waste it racking your brains out with a brick wall.You could call Cheaters TV show if you think he is cheating. Or you could try to call the Dr. Phil show, but I don't know if a 1 hour TV show can solve everyone's problems. Good Luck.
2007-01-15 08:17:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well tell him how you feel instead of holding it in, a year and half is a very long time to go with any affection from your husband. I don't like to say this but do you think it is someone else in the picture and when he comes home does he come off as being resentful being home.You are not happy at all and he doesn't care about your happiness if he did he would want to listen,or sometimes as bad as it sounds my ex told me it wasn't what i said it is how i said.Tell him how you feel don't cry to him because men hate crying and just stand your ground, Ask him if he is unhappy.What he feels like he should about him being unhappy.Expect the worst sweetie, sometimes we want to know and suspect things but when we find out it still hurts.
2007-01-15 08:13:54 · answer #6 · answered by imacutie2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmm... well I men and womens brains work a bit differently on an emotional level, men dont need and often times dont want as much affection, but just to live each day as it is. There is a change that he might not be in love with you anymore, but Im guessing thats not really the answer, you might be over reacting a little, but then again i dont know either of you so its hard for me to say. But in a broad generalization, men arent usually as affectionate, and if there were in the beginning, the newness wears off... I have the same problem with my girl, and she always thinks that i dont like her, but if she left me id die. im guessing he would too, if you really need to know that bad, just walk out the door and tell him your leaving and its over, then you'll see what ever reaction hes truely thinking... if he dont care! sorry, at least your not selling yourself short, if so... apologize and talk about it in a non denfensive attitude. Im sure everything will work out, women like to over react which often times ruines and causes more problems in a realationship than anything. good luck, i hope you get the results your looking for.
2007-01-15 08:14:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that you really have to try and talk to him about how you are feeling, for your family's sake. Try and pick a time when he is a good mood, and when you tell him how you feel, try not to attack him, in such I mean by saying 'You never tell me you love me' or 'I'm the one who always kisses you' etc. Try and find things that he does do that you like and let him know that it makes you feel special when he does them. I'm sure he does something nice for you, even if it's only getting a cup of tea. Let him know that you are feeling neglected, but don't blame him, just let him know that's just how you feel at times. Don't expect too much from him, he doesn't sound like a big communicator. Just try and do it slowly. It really can't hurt to try can it, as you have said that you are always crying, you never know. Good luck
2007-01-15 08:14:41 · answer #8 · answered by jojo29 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
2 kids and 1 on the way. Could be he has his mind on bizness like getting to work to make the money that pays the bills, puts food on the table and such.
Granted sometimes we men tend to get so engrossed in work related crap that we forget to how much our wives really like those little things like kisses and hugs.
Yeah we do get stuck in that rut. Many of us don't like those intimate conversations that point out our faults. Pisses me off everytime my wife brings something like that up.
Although we love our wives, in most cases we just have so much crap going on in our minds that we just can't get back to being focused on what our wives desprately need from us.
When he gets home from work, ask him how his day was, might take a few questions to get his attention, then when you get to bed tonight, and if he's not to tired maybe you can talk to him.
But definately start talking more, and ONE last thing. When i head out the door and if i forget to kiss the wife, she says wait a minute and comes and gives me a hug and a kiss.
You might try that.
2007-01-15 08:23:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello to you I am sorry your are going through this...it must feel real lonesome for you ...it sounds to me something is going on with your husband sounds like if you really wanna stay in this relationship with your husband your gonna have to make him talk and ask him hey whats the problem and ask him why he gets so upset when you bring it up....I feel no woman should be treated like this its not right why speed the rest of your years in misery it sure is not worth It get some sort of help for yourself seek counseling that can help u cope with this rejection your husband is sending out to you....take care of yourself first and it need to just move on ....no one needs to live like this kids or not ...u take care
2007-01-15 08:18:12 · answer #10 · answered by blugeanie923 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if u cant talk to your husband about your feelings u should try to find someone else. if u r questioning if he loves u he probably doesnt have the same feelings for u n e more. just come out and ask him. there is alot of menn out there that would give u the world to be treated like that . It will be hard but u need to be happy too. Good Luck
2007-01-15 08:09:48 · answer #11 · answered by aspen 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋