Does anybody know of a book that will help explain death and heaven to a pre-school child?

Question

my little boy is asking about my daddy (who passed away long before he was born). We also have a pet dog who sadly doesn't have long left, and I don't know how to explain it to him without scaring him! Any ideas would be great. Thanks.

My little boy has just turned 4 years old

I cannot pick one best answer as a lot of your answers are fantastic, and it wouldn't be fair so I am putting this up to the vote. Thank you all for the ideas. The books I will look out for and I feel more positive and confident in making the experience a 'nicer' one.

Good luck!

Answer 1

How old is your little boy? One book that comes to mind is "Goodbye Mog" and is recommended for children aged 4-8. Depends on your son, but it is a very lovely story. Its available from amazon and lots of bookstores, might be worth asking at the libary too.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Goodbye-Mog-Judith-Kerr/dp/0007149697/sr=1-1/qid=1168770324/ref=sr_1_1/202-0115009-0310224?ie=UTF8&s=books
One of the lines in the book - "And she flies up and up and up right into the sun."

Answer 2

I am a children's librarian, and I can highly recommend a couple of books for you.

In the book "Grandma's Bill" by Jane Yolen, Grandma shows a little boy, Bill, photos of her husband, also named Bill, who died before little Bill was born. It's beautifully illustrated and quite sentimental. It is not very informational about Heaven, however, so I would recommend a visit to your public library. Your public library should have a good selection of books about death, including the ones I mentioned. Just ask the children's librarian for help when you go in and I'm sure you'll find some that are suitable to use with your son in your situation.

Also, a book that many people like to use with their children on the death of their dog is "Dog Heaven" by Cynthia Rylant. There's another good one called "The Tenth Good Thing About Barney" by Judith Viorst. These are very likely available at your public library, as well.

Best wishes!

Answer 3

That depends on which approach you want to make to the subject. If the approach is supposed to be religious I would merely present a simplified version about how people who die are in heaven now with the angels.. or something in that direction.

If you want a different approach that has been used a lot in Scandinavia then I really recommend a children's book called "The Brothers Lionheart" by Swedish author Astrid Lindgren (also wrote Pippi and other masterpieces for kids). (In fact, in Scandinavia it has been used a lot to explain things to dying children). It has a fairytale approach, it's beautifully written, and people interpret the message of it differently based on age, experience and religion.

Anyway, good luck whatever you decide to do :)

Answer 4

Why do you need a book? Surely you know your child best and know what he will and wont understand. I lost my dad too, and I just told my little girl (age 3) that he had gone to heaven in the sky and was looking down on us to make sure we were all ok, and that even though we wouldnt see him again, he would always be in our thoughts and we know he is above us in the sky taking care of us.

She accepted this, they dont at this age have any deep questions about death, they seem to accept the heaven in the sky thing, so I would leave it at that. They dont truly understand, so are unlikely to come out with any questions that are too hard to answer.

I wouldnt bother buying a book, just expalin it in simple terms in your own way that he will understand. It really doesnt need to be complicated at this age.

Dont relate it to 'a long sleep' or anything like that, might make him scared to go to bed!

Answer 5

I told my daughter that sometimes people die and they go away for a while but that we get to see them again someday. I have explained death to her and what heaven is. I didn't tell her about hell because she didn't ask and I don't want her to think that when she's bad she'll go there, she is a child and that is a whole other theological debate. Good luck with your son ^_^

to silly gorbie: ignoring death doesn't make it go away, a toddler wants to know where people go when they die, is it that hard to give them an answer. We tell our children about Santa and the Tooth Fairy so why is it so wrong to tell them that when we die we go to fly with angels? Whether you believe in heaven and hell or not is besides the point, you can't just tell a child your dead that's it, it will scar them, and btw children are born with the knowledge of God yes it's hearsay but it's been recorded fromt he mouths of babes with no persuasion. Scientifically speaking you can't just die and that's it. Energy doesn't just stop, Science has shown that so until you can prove that the human soul doesn't exist then you don't have enough evidence.

Answer 6

When I was little, my mom always told me that my father had fallen asleep and never woke up. (It was essentially true, but more complicated of course.) I don't remember how else she explained things, it was just one of those things I always knew.

When my step-mom passed away this summer, the kids knew she had been sick, and the thing that sticks out most about being home for the funeral was my little brother, who was a month away from 4, telling people his mom was sleeping and wouldn't wake up until Judgement Day. I told him that was right and when she did, she wouldn't hurt any more, and he absorbed that into his little mantra and started repeating that, too. I think the idea that she would one day wake up was a comfort to him.

Answer 7

My sister has this same problem. Her daughter is about to be 5 in May and know about Jesus and Marie but doesn't understand Heaven. She wants to know why Memere is in heaven and why can't we visit her there. My sister is trying to be careful how to tell her without scaring her. She said "I want to go to heaven too, I want to met het" Like how to you tell a child that when you go to heaven you don't come back and that someday you will go but jesus doesn't need you yet. This is a really hard subject. My son is 3 and lost his uncle and great granpa and his memere and I have no idea how i'm going to tell him as he ages. Right now all I say is that they are in heaven and he acepts that. I hope you get the answer you need to help you and maybe it will help me and my sister too.
good luck

Answer 8

Just keep it simple . If you want the religious route then you could say that your dad had a great time but then God needed him more so decided he couldn't stay down here on earth with everyone any more and he took him up to heaven. Heaven is a great place where you can do what you want and eventually you meet up with all your friends and you're never lonely or unhappy.

Answer 9

We always said in God's garden - we lost a much loved dog while children still young. There are books out there in different formats. Try a religious bookshop, there's bound to be something in there that you would be happy with.

Answer 10

Barnes & Noble has a whole selection of books to explain death in their children's dept (some are on pet death). They are under the category "growing up", which deals with explaining lots of life situations to kids :)