I need to know something to say to somebody when something stupid happens, like "go live in a shoe" or something. Obviously, judging by my example, I have no idea what to say in such a situation. So please, post your favorite dismissive comments here so that I may learn them and become a master in the art of snappy comebacks.
2007-01-12 12:53:23 · 18 answers · asked by Lpod 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
thanks everybody for sharing your thoughts. There were some real gems that I will shurley keep with me forever. :)
Sorry, but I can't make up my mind about the best answer, so I will just leave it up to the voters.
thanks again,
-lpod
2007-01-15 06:17:40 · update #1
- You're obviously not the brightest crayon in the box.
- Call me when you get your return ticket to reality.
- That's nice. In a place called the real world...
- [If two other people are arguing] Children, play nicely.
- One of these days, I'm going to have visit your home-planet.
- Freedom of speech isn't freedom of stupidity.
- [If people are complaining about you] I know. I'm just Version 2.0 and they haven't quite worked out all the glitches. Don't worry, Version 3.0 will be out shortly. It'll eliminate all the nice things about me [add a particularly nice personality trait here] and my willingness to put up with stupidity.
- [for the dramatic people] You know, you're an addict for dramatics.
-Then, there's always STFU (say ste-foo, it's funnier that way)
2007-01-12 15:58:19 · answer #1 · answered by Target Acquired 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm a fan of using a physical flaw as ammunition. Eg:
"I don't care what you think... You're fat."
"F*ck you AND your fat a-r-s-e"
"Here's $50, go and get that mole removed."
Or you could try some more intelligent remarks.
"After meeting you, I've decided I am in favor of abortion in cases of incest."
"Keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested."
"No one will ever know that you've had a lobotomy, if you wear a wig to hide to the scars and learn to control the slobbering. "
"Nobody says that you are dumb. They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how to wave good-bye."
"Of all the people I've met you're certainly one of them."
"Can I borrow your face for a few days while my a-s-s is on vacation?"
"Did your parents have any children that lived?"
"Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?"
"You don't know the meaning of the word 'fear', but then again you don't know the meaning of most words."
Etc, etc, etc...
Let me know how things work out.
2007-01-13 01:38:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What's wrong with "go live in a shoe"?? If you make it comical, it'll ease up the tension in the situation.
You could use "hey, I've got some mistletoe in my backpocket, why don't you kiss my a--?*"
& if all the dismissive comments you learn aren't satisfying enough for you, you could always throw the person into a wrestling arena.
*subsitute words: tush, patoots, bottom, bum, gludeous maximus, glutes
2007-01-12 21:50:18 · answer #3 · answered by odella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, its best to go off of what THEY are saying lol. Also, it depends on if you want to be mean about it or not. Something like "Go away" always works lol. But to be "snappy" about it... you really have to be IN the situation, and going from the mood of it. for example. A girl walks up to you, she's one of the pretty girls that are annoying because all they talk about, is how fat they are, when they're not. and she says something like "Ohmagod I ate two crackers today! I am sooo fat!"
My reply would be like "TWO WHOLE CRACKERS! Holy cow! You ARE getting fat, seriously... two crackers!" and then I'd walk away. lol yeah its mean, but effective.
2007-01-12 21:07:53 · answer #4 · answered by lightchild13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"What a tarhole!" It's not a swear and no one has a clue what it means but it pretty much sums up your feelings when you're talking about a really idiot. I know this one hasn't hit the mainstream, it's been in our family for a long while.
2007-01-12 22:24:35 · answer #5 · answered by daff73 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How about a simple "Whatever..." (not in the "Valley Girl" sense, but just in a dismissive, disinterested sense.)
2007-01-14 15:04:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My favorite is a simple smile and, "Thank you for sharing."
But I thought you might like some of these:
http://www.humorsphere.com/insults/index.htm
http://www.usewisdom.com/fun/work.html
http://www.funny2.com/insults.htm
2007-01-14 04:20:26 · answer #7 · answered by Witchy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1! beware the jabberwoks my gimbly snares
2! the babys on the half tip
2007-01-12 21:17:07 · answer #8 · answered by THANK YOU FOR THE VENOM 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
UR A TINY TERD
or
U FTARD!!
or
PEANUT BUTTER IS AS PRETTY AS THE JAM...they'll think ur weird and go away
2007-01-12 21:10:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bite me,get bent,tell someone who cares,kiss my a**,you don't make any sense when you talk,you're a big poopy head.
2007-01-12 20:58:02 · answer #10 · answered by festeringhump 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋