my dad had a stroke 6 months ago?

Question

my dad had a stroke 6 months ago ,about a month before his stroke we had a bad argument,know his in a convalesent home and when i go nurses are rood to me because his girlfriend told them the stroke was my falt because of the argument we had a month before is this true ? i would really like to go see him more often ,because my dad loves me and really likes seeing me but his girlfriend always makes a big drama because shes never liked me because me and my dad have always been really close

Answer 1

There is a very important premise in healthcare that you should know about, and it is called "next of kin". It would go in this order: spouse, child, parent, brother/siser, aunt/uncle, so on. Only a patients next of kin has any legal say so about that patient's care or visitors. Sounds like your Dad is divorced, so that would make you and any siblings that you have his next of kin. That means that YOU get to make all of the decisions reguarding his healthcare, including who visits and when. A girlfriend, even a fiancee, does not legally count! Stop letting her push you around and go visit your Dad whenever you feel like it. If she gives you problems, then you need to let her know that, as the legal next of kin, you can actually limit or stop HER visits. Go ahead and talk to the administrator of this convalescent home and let him/her know the situation. Legally they have to back you, and it will be their responsibility to keep her from visiting if you tell them that she is not allowed. You could even set up seperate visiting times for you and her with your Dad, if you want to be nice. Or possibly just the threat that you could limit or stop her visits would cool her down. Just know that you are legal next of kin and that does give you some power in this situation.
Also, if the argument was a month before his stroke, then no it is not your fault. The stroke would have happened immediately after or during the argument if that was the cause. Cut yourself some slack; all parents and kids fight some time or another. So, go visit your Dad and tell him that you love him. Don't worry about the nurses, either. Your relationship with your Dad is nobody's business but yours.

Answer 2

No, your father did not have a stroke because you had an arguement. Strokes are caused by a vein or aneurism within the brain which bleeds into the brain tissue and kills it. The underlying cause which led to the stroke existed long before you had your arguement. At the very worst, it temporarily raised his blood pressure, but that would have gone back down long before the stroke happened. So far as how the nurses act towards you, I would kill them or win them with politeness. You have a right to visit your father, and I am sure he'd like to see you as well, and I wouldn't let anyone prevent you from going. I'm not sure what you mean about making a big drama, but that is also easily handled. If she does it when you are with your dad, simply smile and use your sweetest voice to tell her that you really came to visit with you dad, not to argue with her. And you don't think it's good for your dad to have to be subjected to the two of you having a disagreement. If she wants to take it out of the room and discuss it later, that will be fine. Then later, if she has the gall to bring it up, just refuse to take her bait and get into an arguement. She has a right not to like you, just as you don't have to like her, and there is no need to argue about it. Simply tell her you intend to visit your father, and if she doesn't want to be there at the same time, you can arrange separate times between you. If you refuse to be drawn into a scene, she can't do it and will have to give it up, or risk looking like a harpy. The nurses will see who comes to visit, and who your father responds to, and otherwise their opinions really don't count. They still will have to answer your questions about whats going on with your dad, and if they don't- they have a nursing supervisor who can. Just deal with them politely, and in an adult manner, and they will have no room for complaint. And don't worry about what the GF told them, nurses know what causes strokes and what doesn't. They don't believe her story, they believe what they see. If they see you visit, and that you are close, they will understand it's a case of jealousy.

Answer 3

That's BULL. You did not cause his stroke. His girlfriend is FULL OF IT. The "nurses"(by believing the girlfriend) prove just what LOUSY nurses( I use that term loosely) they are. Where did they get their license? Out of a Cracker Jack box? I think the girlfriend is trying to influence him in every way. Will he have a sizable estate? If so there's that's the girlfriends "motovation" to want to "care" for him and isolate you from him.

a night shift x-ray tech

Answer 4

It is your father you have every right to go see him. Try to visit when she is not there. I work in a home like that and there are alot of unhappy nurses its likely they are just cranky and know nothing of your family issues. A stroke is caused by many things, none of which classify as an arguement. That was merely bad timing. Try not to let her negativity affect you and be strong.

Answer 5

go see him.....she is trying to get in the way...DO NOT not go see your father....that is bull crap.....push her a.s.s to the side she has no rights anyhow

Answer 6

Talk with her