Say there´s a girl called Jessie....Jessie is kind of an odd girl..she has I have so many inhibitions stopping me from being in a relationship....she´s always felt this way, and the biggest reason she feels is that she thinks shes better off being alone...but sometimes...she´s not so sure..and during these times she thinks maybe, just maybe this could work...so when she does try to overcome her inhibitions and open her heart to someone..she finds herself in an entanglement of a whole other bunch of issues.. its like even though the thought of being in a serious relationship with someone sounds great..at the same time she gets really scared and most of the time she´s not even sure how she feels...and even though she´s leanred that love does require comprimise and so is worth even all the internal agony she´s going through...sometimes she doesnt know if she can handle it...
2006-12-30 23:24:43 · 7 answers · asked by Jaded 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
So my question here is, do you think Jessie is just isnt ready to be in a relationship? I mean do you really "know" when you´re ready..and when you´re in love..or is it always this confusing?
2006-12-30 23:25:19 · update #1
Do you think she just sounds like someone with a self-destructive nature? Or do you think that she should listen to her inner voice..as sad as it may be..and just stop openning her heart to others...becuz it just cant be right if she feels so confused and so strongly about her inhibitions..right?
Love cant really be such a inner struggle, right?
2006-12-30 23:27:59 · update #2
Sorry typo i meant to say inhibitions stopping her* from being
2006-12-30 23:30:31 · update #3
lol Ken yeah i know the feeling. :)
2006-12-30 23:30:47 · update #4
Um hey lol everyone, im actually a girl..and this question is actually about a friend of mine..lol =D
But i really, sincerely appreciate all your advice and all your answers, thank you so much, everyone! =))
I hope you guys have a great new year. =)
2006-12-31 00:54:30 · update #5
Obviously she's been hurt. Badly. The real question is: are you absolutely sure that YOU can cure her?
If you didn't hesitate a bit, not a single moment, then you are the wright guy. She needs someone strong, someone on who she can lean on.She needs to be assured that love still exists, and that it exists for her too. That she deserves to be loved.
I'm telling this from personal xpirience. I was hurt by the man with whom I planned my future. We were taking possible baby names for consideration, for god's sake! He proposed me. But one day I find him to be totally different. I realized I was being lied from the beginning.
I can't find suitable words to describe how I felt. Like you had a perfection for a brief time, just to taste what's it like, and then it was taken from you because you were enjoying it so much...
So I closed to other people. Until one day another person came into my life. I was scared. Why risking pain again? Why shouldn't I stay alone, and secure?
But the truth is, when he demonstrated me his power, his strength, (I mean emotionally), and when I realized that he will take all the punches of life instead me,I let go.
With your girl is the same situation. If she feels that you're insecure, just for a bit, she will retreat. Show her that U can help her, that you care... And show her that your relationship , not can work, but will work for sure!
Let her know that you two must be together. End of story.
And be there for her. Assure her that she was wrong all this time. But she will never be wrong with you...
Good luck and let us know how it worked ;)
2006-12-31 00:05:19 · answer #1 · answered by Looda_Plavusha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like Jesse has a lot of internal issues and needs a true friend. But to desire more than that with Jesse is asking for many days, and possible years, of frustration and misery! One can only bear but so much of another person's troubles. Dealing with mental and/or emotional unrest isnt easy for anyone. Try to get her to seek a good counselor, preferrable a good Christian counselor. Many times those insecurities, fears and uncertainies will go away once the person realizes that life was been to be enjoyed not feared. Now after sitting down and counting the cost, if you still feel strongly that she is the person for you than you pray for her and support her endeavers, but let her know that you alone cant be her leaning post forever b/c she will drain you dry. She must seek professional help!
2006-12-31 08:32:40 · answer #2 · answered by ODP 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, let me ask you this, Do you think that you could be in a relationship with her? Obviously she is scared of something, be it commitment, or something else. What you can do is tell her that you want to help her with this and that you will do whatever it takes to help her. Start going places together just the two of you, and spend more time with her. Then maybe, just maybe she will overcome her fears, but only do this if you want to be in a relationship with her. More than likely, after you and her have been doing this for awhile, she might be ready to try the relationship.
Good Luck
2006-12-31 07:35:46 · answer #3 · answered by Chris H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Agree with above....she is not ready for a committed relationship. Don't push things with 'Jessie'. When she is ready to have a relationship with 'you', you will know. Until then, just be good friends.
2006-12-31 07:28:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be Jessie's friend first let her come to you to talk to. Be there for her when she needs to talk to some one. If you are decent and kind to her, when it comes down to her making a big relationship decision I think you will be the one she chooses.
2006-12-31 07:28:12 · answer #5 · answered by Rocky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too much to think about.
2006-12-31 07:29:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is not ready
2006-12-31 07:26:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋