should I dump him, and if so, how?

Question

me and my boyfriend have been together for just over a month now, and he's a few years older than me. I didn't get as much out of the relationship as I expected to, and it turns out I get incredibly bored spending time with him!! He can't really hold a conversation well, and the "connection" isnt there. the problem is, Everyone says they've never seen him as thrilled in a relationship. He's already talking about years from now!! he says he loves me, but I don't want things to get that serious. I can't try and cool things off because he rings me about every five minutes to "talk" as in, yes, no and mmmm.... and then ask me whether i wana go out somewhere so we can do more of the same thing. sometimes i feel alright about being around him... but most of the time I feel i have to go as far as avoiding him. I really strongly don't want to hurt his feelings, so I really don't know what to do! A month isn't that long... should I keep things going for awhile, or dump him, and if so, how?

btw I know it might sound baf to some of you... I saw a friend go through the exact same thing and I disapproved... but the truth is it's a very different situation when you're experiencing it... trust me on this one!!!!!!!

Answer 1

You can cool it off because you need to do so. He sounds like he came on too strong, too fast and too soon. He's so thrilled to death that he can't communicate. It seems irksome for him to be calling you every five minutes, to say nothing at all, like he's checking up or trying to control you. And planning for years to come; isn't that presumptuous. For someone who is older than you he sure doesn't act like it. Seems a tad insecure. So don't wait any longer to tell him. Be honest and tell him how you feel. Like you say, a month isn't that long. Certainly not long enough for him to have such serious ideas. Especially about being in love! He may get hurt but it wouldn't be as bad as if you kept him hanging for a longer time. Anyway he'll get over it and meet someone new. Hopefully someone on his wavelength who craves this type of juvenile affection.

Answer 2

You are clearly not into him, clearly.
You don't do people any favors by keeping them around for no reason other than you might not have anything better to do. Do himself and yourself a favor and give him the bad news. Amonth isn't long, it really isn't, you just gotta tell him that you are sure there is someone out there that would love to have him but you just aren't ready for the kind of relationship he seems to want. There is nothing mean about that, it may not make him feel good but it is a lot nicer than stringing him along...you would know by now if you could make it work with him....good luck.

Answer 3

You inside senses already tell you to dump him. You are in doubts only because you are within him too long. You can give him the last chance by speaking you heart out to him and see how he responds or compromise. But usually this wont last. He will still eventually go back to his boring acts towards you. So you will forever wont have the chance to see a sparkling relationship. I suggest you dump him and find again. Relationship is sometimes very selfish. Else you would live in "Prison" forever. Worst than a life sentence.

Answer 4

Well there really is no easy way. That's just life. I think the most important thing for you to do is talk to him. He needs to know how you feel. It seems to me like you need your space and he is not giving it to you. From what you have written it would appear he is really in love with you. I think you need to end the relationship now before it gets out of hand. Guys can lose their mind over someone they are in love with and we don't like rejection. The longer you are with him the more obsessed with you he will become. Let him know your feelings. Let him know there is just no chemistry there for you and your feelings for him are different than his feelings for you. Anyway hope things work out okay for you. Just be strong, go with your feelings and act on your feelings. Everything happens for a reason. Being with him could be holding you back from meeting the one you are meant to be with.

Answer 5

You're going to hurt him no matter what you say thats just part of life. Just be truthful and honest and tell him some of the same things you've mentioned here. Just tell him you don't share the same feelings he has for you and you would like to move and date other guys.

Answer 6

you already know that you arent getting what you want,and that you get bored with him and are going to the extent of avoiding him. do yourselves both a favor, tell him exactly how you feel and end it.
as for him being exited about the relationship, too bad because the reltionship isnt for him alone, if one party isnt happy then to hell with it.
as for him getting hurt, he will get hurt one way or another, even if you stay with him and not feel anything for him, do him a favor end it early and neatly. goodluck.

Answer 7

I am a guy... I recently got dumped. She was very kind and said things like"it me not you; i am really sorry ____ but i have found some1 else, but can we still be friend?!" It was amazingly the best way i have been dumped! Oh! be comforting after.

Answer 8

tell him the same thing that u r telling us now,,,

maybe his not being talkative cse he doesnt want to go any deeper with u,,,,cse u didnt say that u love him................he said it,,,and maybe he asked u what u feel abt him,,,,,,,u need to answer him,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,yes or no....


if u dont want him anymore just say it to him,,,,,,,,,,,,remember,,,,there are 100000000 ppl out there 4 u and him,,,,,dont ever feel sorry abt things such as this







r u from ALEPPO>>>>

Answer 9

come on grow up how old r u deary? Dump his a** if he ain't cutin it. Its rude to him to string him along for your satisfaction. Get over yourself sounds like he can do a whole hell of alot better than u

Answer 10

Just do it. Get it over with fast & move on.