she is my older sister but she is very stubborn cause whenever she is angry she wants to finish her anger in me.Mother ussually gets mad and very sad whenever we argue or fight.I have tried to ignor her several times but it didnt work either.What should i do with her?
2006-12-30 20:59:16 · 20 answers · asked by love 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Agression should not be dealt with aggression. Use a counter policy.....
1. Be super nice to her even when u dont feel like...
2. Show her that you appreciate her
3. Make a special effort to make her feel important - like asking her opinion....or asking her to come shopping with you.... etc.
this will make her think twice before provoking you....
If she still does provoke you - u can do the following
1. Don't react
2. Just smile and tell her that she is entitled to her opinion just as u r entitled to urs...
3. count till 10 taking deep breaths
4. remove your frustration later using a punching bag or by writing a diary
5. If she really gets on your nerves, tell her that you need some time by yourself to digest what she has said - and then walk out of there.....
2006-12-30 21:08:37 · answer #1 · answered by honey007rmsas 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
OK, so ignoring her doesn't work, and, although you feel that things are a bit stuck, you can be the one to unstick them! You are the world expert on YOU and your family! This means that you can notice the very second that things begin to 'turn', learn to be your own 'look out' by noticing the signs of her anger (and yours - and anyone else in the family!) Then use the magic trick of changing what you do, perhaps you could change the subject, go to a different room.... . What is it that you do well together? Try to steer towards doing things together that you both like. After all, underneath all this you do care for each other or you would not be fighting.
If there is something you both like, talk about that.
Mother's do get angry, they feel responsible, that might be why she feels sad, it is not her fault, and its not surprising each of you wants to be in Mother's good books. Maybe a new way of dealing with things is just what you need to show Mother that you are both really trying. She loves you both, being stuck in the middle is not comfortable, and blame makes people everywhere feel bad.
Maybe you both need to recognise eachothers good points and begin to compliment each other a little, every time your sister does something nice for you then tell her so. Notice nice things, she is older and she may be able to do things you can't, can you ask her to help you with something you are stuck with. Maybe even think about 'meeting in the middle' sometimes. You don't say how old you are, but maybe finding something to agree about is going to be easier than arguing, just a little more work involved! I wish you good luck!
2006-12-31 00:53:29 · answer #2 · answered by silentium aqualis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm the older sister, and i just give in to the younger ones, and keep out of it...!
There must be a quite moment that you could speak to her and express your feelings, and mayb even find out why she is so angry and upset (it mayb a problem at school, boyfriend etc).
You could speak to your mum or dad about how you are feeling, and how distressed its getting you.
Many siblings have their problems, and your not alone.
This may seem a little extreme, but Childline could give you some advise. 0800 1111
Don't get too down about it, the new year may bring around a better sister?! You never know!
Cheer up tho chick! x
2006-12-30 21:06:43 · answer #3 · answered by ஐ♥PinkBoo - TTC #1♥ஐ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just think twice - does she really fight you? In most of such cases, it so happens that what you receive is only the reflection of what you have been offering so far. I am sure you love each other so much, and therefore fail to fulfill each others expectations, and end up fighting. You can take it as the answer of a father who has a lot of daughters, and is really experiebnced of these things.
2006-12-30 21:06:34 · answer #4 · answered by Dibya 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I completely disagree with the first two responses. I don't know how old you and your sister are, but it's nice to see the younger one showing the most maturity by trying to ignore the situation. Since ignoring her isn't working you should try to just sit down with your sister and your parents and discuss your feelings openly and ask them the same question your asking now. Don't get in to yelling matches or physical confrontations...they never solve anything and will only happen again and again.
2006-12-30 21:05:15 · answer #5 · answered by Snicker_Doodle8 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Perhaps you 2 sisters could sit down and talk about both of your thoughts? Ignoring wouldnt be a solution.
From you saying about worrying about your mum, i can see that you're the sensible one. So, yup, initiate the talk.
It's quite normal for teenagers to quarrel with their siblings, so, but not too often yah.
all the best.
2006-12-30 21:04:34 · answer #6 · answered by eggtartsxx 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People tend to take their bad moods out on those closest so feel honoured.
Try not to retaliate if the arguing upsets you, either walk away or tell her that you don't want to argue with her, you could even try putting her on a guilt trip by telling her that she really upsets you when she treats you like her punchbag!
I really think you should discuss this problem with your mum if it's making you this unhappy.
2006-12-30 21:14:16 · answer #7 · answered by Poppy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im in a similar situation ,im the youngest of 4 and i dont speak to my sister,we ignore each other when she visits with the kids we dont exchange burfday or crimbo cards and if i never saw her again it wouldnt bother me in the slightest(im 30 shes 34)we have had physical fights in the past n now i just ignore her,i speak to her husband hes cool,it does annoy my mum but its my choice ,we dont get on there is no point my family going on about it..in the case of you and your sister id smack her you would feel tonnes better after doing it hehe
2006-12-30 21:07:54 · answer #8 · answered by greyhound mummy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she can't talk to you maturely, talk to your mom about sending her to anger management. Does she listen to your mom when she tells her to stop fighting with you? If it's just her being defiant and not you, then this is serious and she needs discipline, like boot camp if it gets out of hand, before it gets out of hand.
Krazy Libra
2006-12-30 21:03:09 · answer #9 · answered by krazy_libra_from_ac 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Show your mother this question you have posted up.
Maybe then she'll realise you are actually being very much hurt by your bully of a sister and do something to stop it.
2006-12-30 21:05:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋