How can we help the other one through the grieving ?

Question

We've made the decision to euthanize one of our two dogs.

Answer 1

Coping with the Death of Your Pet


When a person you love dies, it's natural to feel sorrow, express grief, and expect friends and family to provide understanding and comfort. Unfortunately, the same doesn't always hold true if the one who died was your companion animal. Many consider grieving inappropriate for someone who has lost "just a pet."

Nothing could be further from the truth. People love their pets and consider them members of their family. Caregivers celebrate their pets' birthdays, confide in their animals, and carry pictures of them in their wallets. So when your beloved pet dies, it's not unusual to feel overwhelmed by the intensity of your sorrow. Animals provide companionship, acceptance, emotional support, and unconditional love during the time they share with you. If you understand and accept this bond between humans and animals, you've already taken the first step toward coping with pet loss: knowing that it is okay to grieve when your pet dies.

Understanding how you grieve and finding ways to cope with your loss can bring you closer to the day when memories bring smiles instead of tears.

What Is the Grief Process?

The grief process is as individual as the person, lasting days for one person or years for another. The process typically begins with denial, which offers protection until individuals can realize their loss. Some caregivers may try bargaining with a higher power, themselves, or even their pet to restore life. Some feel anger, which may be directed at anyone involved with the pet, including family, friends, and veterinarians. Caregivers may also feel guilt about what they did or did not do, and may feel that it is inappropriate to be so upset. After these feelings subside, caregivers may experience true sadness or grief. They may become withdrawn or depressed. Acceptance occurs when they accept the reality of their loss and remember their animal companion with decreasing sadness. Remember, not everyone follows these classic stages of grief—some may skip or repeat a stage, or experience the stages in a different order.

How Can I Cope with My Grief?

While grief is a personal experience, you need not face loss alone. Many forms of support are available, including pet bereavement counseling services, pet-loss support hotlines, local or online Internet bereavement groups, books, videos, and magazine articles. Here are a few suggestions to help you cope:

Acknowledge your grief and give yourself permission to express it.

Don't hesitate to reach out to others who can lend a sympathetic ear.

Write about your feelings, either in a journal or a poem.

Call your local humane society to see whether it offers a pet loss support group or can refer you to one. You may also want to ask your veterinarian or local animal shelter about available pet loss hotlines.

Explore the Internet for pet loss support groups and coping information.

Prepare a memorial for your pet.

What Can I Do for My Child?

The loss of a pet may be a child's first experience with death. The child may blame himself, his parents, or the veterinarian for not saving the pet. And he may feel guilty, depressed, and frightened that others he loves may be taken from him. Trying to protect your child by saying the pet ran away could cause your child to expect the pet's return and feel betrayed after discovering the truth. Expressing your own grief may reassure your child that sadness is okay and help him work through his feelings.

Is the Process More Difficult if I'm a Senior?

Coping with the loss of a pet can be particularly hard for seniors. Those who live alone may feel a loss of purpose and an immense emptiness. The pet's death may also trigger painful memories of other losses and remind caregivers of their own mortality. What's more, the decision to get another pet is complicated by the possibility that the pet may outlive the caregiver, and hinges on the person's physical and financial ability to care for a new pet.

For all these reasons, it's critical that senior pet owners take immediate steps to cope with their loss and regain a sense of purpose. If you are a senior, try interacting with friends and family, calling a pet loss support hotline, even volunteering at a local humane society. If you know seniors in this situation, direct them to this web page and guide them through the difficult grieving process.

Will My Other Pets Grieve?

Surviving pets may whimper, refuse to eat or drink, and suffer lethargy, especially if they had a close bond with the deceased pet. Even if they were not the best of friends, the changing circumstances and your emotional state may distress them. Give surviving pets lots of TLC ("tender loving care") and try to maintain a normal routine. It's good for them and for you.

Should I Get Another Pet?

Rushing into this decision isn't fair to you or your new pet. Each animal has his own unique personality and a new animal cannot replace the one you lost. You'll know when the time is right to adopt a new pet after giving yourself time to grieve, carefully considering the responsibilities of pet ownership, and paying close attention to your feelings. When you are ready, remember that your local animal shelter is a great place to find your next special friend.

Answer 2

One thing to know about the grief process is that things don't happen in a certain order and then go away. You have times when you have each of the stages and times when you have more than one of them. Grieving takes as long as it takes and its different for everyone. Seeing a psychologist is a very good idea if only so you know you're not crazy, that the feelings you're having are normal. Any way you look at it it is a very hard thing to go through and even though the pain does ease, you don't 'get over it' once and for all.

Answer 3

It's very common for our pets to go through a grieving process a lot like our own when they lose a person or animal they know well. This process may have begun with your dog when his canine companion became ill and perhaps was hospitalized. You may have seen signs of sadness, depression, searching the house, a reduced appetite, or other unusual behaviors. Some pet owners choose to allow the remaining pet a chance to view the body of the deceased pet after euthanasia. They believe that it helps the pet that's left behind to understand what's happened and to process the loss. You may want to discuss this option with your veterinarian before euthanizing the household pet that is ill. My new kitten won't use the litterbox

Answer 4

I'm sorry for the loss. What was the reason? It get hurt? My dog was told to be put to sleep 8 times, we never did and it runs around. God bless you with your loss.

Give the dog love and compassion. Keep an eye on how much it's eating or drinking. some dogs will starve them selves when dealing with a loss. Also if you let you dog out with out a leash keep a close eye even if you have an electric fence. Dogs mite try to run away and search for the lost dog. Some will even lash out on other dogs that come near the barrial site and just attack em' for getting close to it. If your barrying ur dog in your yard, this mite sound weird but large dogs will ven lay ontop of the site or try to dig him up. thinking there saving him.
But for mental stuff just mourning I'de say just stroke your dog and talk to him calmly. Comfert him. :)

Answer 5

If you or a family member are extra close to both animals, then you might find that while you are grieving the one that is still with you is getting through this by comforting you. Make sure routines don't change to much and that mans best friend is being exactly that.

Answer 6

Just be sure to give lots of love and attention. I think that getting a new puppy can help the person grieve, but it doesn't help the dog. After one of my dogs died, my other one didn't want any other dog in the household that was new to her. I actually think that she went thought a period of grief almost as bad as mine.

Answer 7

I did what I said I never would, I got a puppy,my other dog was so depressed,untill I did.

Answer 8

i think it will be better if you euthanize the younger dog.

Answer 9

IF YOU ARE THE YOUNGEST AND YOUR MOTHER IS CRYING BECAUSE OF THE DOG BENING GONE I WOULD BE THERE FOR HER OR YOU WHEN I NEED SO ONE TO CRY ON SO YES IF YOUR THR GRIEVER WOULD YOU WHAT SOMEONE TO CARE FOR YOU

Answer 10

Be loving, give lots of attention, be aware of his/her needs.