Christians!
Don't you know your savior is false? The only true savior is Satan! The great Sammael! Worship him, then, and only then can you have eternal life!
God is dead, be saved by Satan's mercy! Do not be left behind! Before the apocalypse Satan will take his faithful before he fixes all the problems in the world and makes it perfect!
He will then kill his arch nemesis, Jesus Christ for causing pain to all human beings.
Repent now, or you will be damned to oblivion!
Please will you accept Satan into your heart today?
2006-12-30 18:08:16 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Yes, Cardinal-Inquisitor Franklin Beelzebub McGill, I will obey. *kisses ring*
2006-12-30 18:20:05 · update #1
From: Catholic Church of Our Lady of Defloration
Office for Doctrinal Rigidity
Cardinal-Inquisitor Franklin Beelzebub McGill
To: Stanton
Dear Sir:
Your evangelical approach to the expansion of the Monarchy of the Dark Powers is unnecessary at best, and heretical at worst. We prefer to expand our powerbase through infiltration and manipulation of the Celestial Throne. Remaining behind the scenes seems to suit us best. By siphoning off the psychic energy of human animals, we maintain equilibrium. Please do not attempt to disrupt Operation: Jehovah on a Stick again or you will face the Cosmic Tickling Device of a Thousand Screams.
Bow down and kiss my ring,
Cardinal McGill, Esq.
2006-12-30 18:16:16 · answer #1 · answered by The Man Comes Around 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK... We're all taught that God is good, Satan is bad, etc...
What if both were neutral? A couple guys sitting on the couch, drinking beer, watching the game, one rooting for good, the other for bad...
Imagine that neither intervene in any way and specifically ignore prayers, instead leaving them to chance.
I'm interested to hear your comments on this. Feel free to contact me.
-The Atheist
2006-12-30 18:17:01 · answer #2 · answered by Jack Schitt 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i've got faith in an more suitable ability yet i don't think this larger ability has something to do with allowing suffering. i think of all human beings would desire to make experience of suffering and soreness as a results of fact it somewhat sucks. human beings thank God while issues bypass nicely and rattling Him while issues bypass undesirable. extremely of thanking the human beings of their lives and the sturdy options they made. while something is going undesirable or we see suffering happening we would desire to continuously check out the chain of activities that contributed to the suffering or settle for that sturdy and undesirable issues will ensue at cases for no reason. i've got faith we are all related and the recommendations we make result human beings we don't even comprehend. It has not something to do with God it has to do with us.
2016-10-19 06:31:09 · answer #3 · answered by graviett 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how can you believe in satan and not god. if you do believe in god than try to think this way, which one will help me and which one will hurt me. I'm pretty sure your trying to be a smart *** but logically thinking, oh man i don't even know where to start.
2006-12-30 18:16:54 · answer #4 · answered by rehcueguy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suffering is us taking up our cross and following Jesus. You by the way are a blasphemer and a liar!
Mark 3:29 But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost hath never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation
2006-12-30 18:13:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Is this supposed to be ironic? Or just crazy?
I'll remain agnostic. My witty commentary falls on deaf ears the majority of the time anyway.
2006-12-30 18:10:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
there should be some difference between world and heaven!!!
2006-12-30 18:32:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
since nobody knows if god actually exists, nobody can answer that.
2006-12-30 18:10:46 · answer #8 · answered by Jeebus is my Rectum 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Haha I see what your doing nice trick. But no thanks I've already got a religion and a mind of my own. (Plus don't think that I don't use it, i've seen the possibilites.)
2006-12-30 18:16:40 · answer #9 · answered by Cindy 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Satan has mercy?!??! HAHAHAHAHA
2006-12-30 18:23:12 · answer #10 · answered by -♦One-♦-Love♦- 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋