How do you go about putting a child up for adoption?

Question

I'm 18 and six and a half months pregnant. my baby's father wants nothing to do with the child, and is in talks of getting married with his girlfriend (who doesn't know about the child) I was pregnant before, and had a miscarriage so i have some idea how hard it is to lose a child (and its the hardest thing) but he is pushing highly for the adoption, along with my parents. My parents think i should because I'm not a mentally stable person (I have sever depression and am suicidal, also most people think I'm bi-polar but i haven't seen a therapist since I got pregnant with my first child) I don't really want to give my child up because I'm already in love but i have no support, and no way of raising this child (i keep waiting for the fairy tale ending where the dad decides he'll help but instead i get he's getting married, and child support from him isn't really an option) So i was wondering if theres anything online to read, or where should i turn so i can start the adoption process.

Answer 1

Well, I gave a baby up for adoption when I was a teenager. If this is what you decide to do, it is going to be a lot harder than having a miscarriage. Not that I'm trying to talk you out of it. I don't regret what I did and if it's a decision that you want to make, you shouldn't regret it either. The first thing you need to do is truly make this decision. Make sure it's the right thing for YOU to do. Not your parents, and not your baby's father. I think it's very responsible of you to be considering your mental stability, but you need to seek help, especially if you decide to give this baby up for adoption. I would suggest you inform your obgyn of your decision. He may have a patient or patients that cannot have children and are in the adoption process. You need to contact an adoption lawyer. Don't worry about the cost, this is the responsibility of the adoptive parents. But don't take advantage of people who want to adopt your child. Meet with prospective parents. Your attorney will help you through that. Talk to your obgyn about a support group to help you through this. You are going to need supportive people in your life right now. You don't sound too sure if this is the decision you want to make; please, make sure before things become final. There may come a day in this baby's life when he will want to know who his biological mother is and you are going to want to be around for that day. Talk to your parents about your feelings and do what you feel is right for you and your child. Adoption is a beautiful thing. And it can be the best thing for you too. Keep in mind that there are a lot of wonderful people out there in this world who cannot have children and want them more than anything else in the world. You could possibly be the angel who gives them the greatest gift they will ever receive.

Answer 2

Hi Kayla,
I think it's good to explore your options. You can contact a local adoption agency for more information or you can choose a private adoption. Both are legal and common in the US. If you are interested in a private adoption, you have more say in choosing the adoptive parents. We are hoping to adopt a baby soon and have set up a website where birthmoms can find out more about us, the site is : http://ouradoptionplan.com If you are interested, check it out. Once you find a family you would like to place the baby with, go to a local adoption attorney and have him/her start to work with the adoptive parents attorney. In private adoptions, all medical, legal and living expenses are paid as well as counseling. If you feel you cannot raise this child alone at this point in your life, adoption is the best option! Good luck!

Answer 3

I got pregnant at 16 and gave my baby up for adoption when he was born. I think it was the best option for me. I can tell you that it is HARD. I had made the decision to place my son for adoption when I was about 5 months pregnant. My situation with the father was very similar to yours. I spoke with the RN at the OBGYN's office and she refered me to an orginization in my area (Houston), Catholic Charities. They are a nation wide organization that does many things for the community and one happens to be adoption. You do not have to be Catholic. They put me in contact with a couselor there who talked the whole process over with me and gave tons of info. They had a group that got together once a month. This group was made of birth parents (birthing mother's who place their babies up for adoption). I attended one of these meetings to get an insight from others just like me. Once I decided on adoption I had to make the decision of an open adoption (one where you have contact with the adoptive family and child) or a closed adoption. I decided that an open adoption was the best for my situation. My counseler then gave me a bunch of bio's on familys who also wanted adopt and who also prefered the open adoption. That was very helpful. They included their education, religious beliefs, pictures...just all kinds of stuff about the family. I then chose a family and met them. They were the ones for me. They were great. My son is now 8 years old. We keep intouch by email and get together one or two times a year. My son knows why I made the decision. My reason for this was because I was too young to have a baby. My son deserved to much more than what I was able to give him and more. He not only has them, but he has me as well. He is great. I am willing to keep in contact if you need any support or have any questions. I know how hard it is and I find it very admirable that you would choose adoption. It takes strength to go through with this. If you do decide that adoption is right for you I strongly recommend that you contact Catholic Charities. There is no issue with religion at all. That is not their focus when assisting you with placing you child up for adoption. They are great at answereing questions that you might have to help assist you in making the decision to choose adoption or not. I wish you and your baby all the best. Please contact me at [e-mail] if you have any questions about my experience with adoption.

Here is the link to find a Catholic Charities in you area
http://www.catholiccharitiesusa.org/

Answer 4

Hi Kayla, I'm glad to hear that you have really thought this through. I think you should consider an open adoption because you can have as much contact with the child as you like. I know that my husband and I want to adopt a child this way, so please email me if you are interested in our family ([e-mail]). You can also find an adoption agency in your area online, then you will be able to select a couple from a list they have if you want to pick another family. It is free to you & they will usually pay any expenses you incur. Good luck to you & your child!

Answer 5

If you want to keep your child then do so. You can get help from the goverment. You could go and sign up on welfare and medical cards. You can get section 8 housing. You could draw ssi for your disability and that right there would be almost 700 bucks a month.
Just because your ex is with someone else dosen't mean you have to give your kid up or what your parents are saying too.

But if you think you cannot raise a baby with your health problems then maybe it is best you give it up for an adoption -possibly an open adoption-
Go to http://www.adoption.com
I hope everything works out for you

Answer 6

First of all, I am glad you are considering the well being of the child. If you are mentally less than stable, then giving up the baby is a good idea.
Second of all, the father is a donkey's behind, so forget him. You can get in touch with planned parenthood and they can refer you to someone who may be able to help you and if money is an issue, they can help you there too. Good luck.

Answer 7

Hi.I'm glad your putting your baby's welfare first.You can either go through an agency or an open adoption.I would suggest an open adoption.You meet adoptive parents and pick who you would think your baby would have the best life.Contact me at [e-mail] My parents adopted me 13 years ago and are trying to adopt again.They are willing to let the birthparents be in the childs life if they want.Good luck.

Answer 8

Loo up adoption agencies in your phone book or on yellowpages.com by your local area. Call them, ask questions. By everything you are saying it may just be best for your baby & you to get some help! You will be able to feel a bit better knowing you are giving your baby to someone that will love & care for him/her. You could consider a open adoption where you are able to visit the child.

Answer 9

i've got basic many women folk who've placed toddlers or little ones for adoption as a results of fact they needed a extra helpful existence for his or her little ones and had to guard their toddler from kinfolk/better half and young little ones/or community violence. i don't comprehend why all and sundry could call you a bad individual for doing that. even inspite of the shown fact that enable me supply you with a warning that it is not difficulty-free giving up the nicely suited to be your youngster's make certain. Adoption isn't co-parenting. you're giving up your rights as a make certain and as a mom on your little ones perpetually. in case you're coming from a abusive situation then you definately could want to artwork with an company and %. adoptive mum and dad who're open to a semi-open adoption the place you may have some secure touch including your toddler and their kinfolk... and in line with risk in case you're fortunate to locate a loving, open kinfolk, - they'd set up conferences/visits each and every 3 hundred and sixty 5 days to 6 months with the adoptive kinfolk and your delivery little ones on the adoption company. Adoption would be difficult on your heart yet for some it somewhat is the only thank you to guard their little ones and supply them a reliable existence with opportunities.

Answer 10

Since your parents want you to give the baby up for adoption I suggest you ask them to get you an adoption lawyer to talk with.