People against marriage...?

Question

Lol ive noticed how people have frowned upon marriage. I cant deny the fact I use to be that girl. My most used phrase was "I'm not gonna get married to no guy, im just gonna live with one and have all the sex i please". But then i met my wonderful fiance and he changed my views on everything, i now want to get married have kids the whole nine yards... I guess when you truly love someone your willing to spend your life with them. Thats all everybody needs to find ...

Answer 1

Amen to that and I'm happy for you.

Answer 2

your initial preconceived notion about marriage may have been because your parents were divorced or you have seen first hand the way a broken marriage can affect people. but you were still taught throughout your childhood how when you grow up, you're going to get married and raise a family after you go to school and get a good job. it's the american way.

after two divorces and some pretty staunch realizations, i don't believe that humans are truly monogamous. if you think about attraction and relationships and how they work, we're initially attracted by things we see. you might meet someone on the internet and find an interest in their personality but if you meet in person and you're not physically attracted to this person or don't have the same online chemistry, then that's that. but once you find that person that you're attracted to, there's the process of learning about each other and the sexual compatibility and your political and religious views... and you make a choice as to whether or not you want to make all the compromises necessary to be with this person. because let's face it, no one person is perfect. there may be something about this guy that you just met that bothers you but is it enough for you to tell him to hit the road? and through all this which could take anywhere between a few hours to a few years depending on how fast the couple moves, you decide to get married.

ok hold on a second... wait. how long does it really take before you know someone? two hours? two years? ten years? if you're going to commit your entire life to someone in the marital vows, do you think that part of the marriage process is to learn more about your spouse? and what happens if you don't like what you learn? what if you go through some rough times and this brings out something in him that you never would have seen otherwise? how honest do you think people are with themselves about what they truly want in a marriage? or in a relationship for that matter?

and i'm not even talking about the percentage of marriages that end up in divorce after the first seven years. and i haven't even mentioned infidelity! romantic love just isn't enough reason for two people to commit. yes, it's a great fantasy and i know that it feels great to be so wrapped up in another person that all you want to do is be with that person forever... but in reality? sure... it does happen. my grandparents will celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary in 2007. but they are totally in the minority.

if people were more open and honest with themselves at their most animalistic levels, this facade of marriage as it is today wouldn't exist. it's a falsehood just like homeland security. but how it would be is questionable. would people be in polyamorous groups or would they just be in open relationships? a lot of people can't even imagine what that would be like.

Answer 3

Right on! I've noticed that many people are too afraid of marriage, and some are not afraid enough. Certainly you need to be sure that you're marrying the right person. But the benefits of marriage are significant. Good night!

Answer 4

I met the love of my life, and still don't want to get married. Well, I was married before for ten years. And now it's like "been there, down that". Life is way too beautiful to rotate it around the family life.

Answer 5

I can't imagine how you can be against marriage or even have been against it. My entire life I have, for some reason, desired to be married. I believe their is somebody for everyone and to be married is to live this relationship to the fullest. Living with them and doing whatever you want isn't going to allow for commitment and the full reverence marriage deserves. I am all for it!

Answer 6

I was never against marriage. But when I was younger up until 19 I said I would never marry! LOL..... I'm married for 13 years now and don't regret it at all! :o)

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Answer 7

Thats not really a question , but i can say that you can do all the good things togather and not get married. In my opinion marriage comes with exspectations and obligations that if not kept in check will evetually lead to divorce....roles and thought patterns suddenly change and it all goes to crap leaving everyone confused and bitterly angry.

Answer 8

I still say that (for the fact i'm only 21). I'm glad you found the right one out there that helped you change your mind. Hopefully I can find a guy like that one day. But until that da comes i'll stick to my tactics.

Answer 9

GOOD FOR YOU ! I AGREE THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE REALLY DON'T FIND A NEED FOR MARRIAGE WHICH NOWADAYS THEY THINK IS JUST A PIECE OF PAPER THAT YOU CAN'T TEAR UP OR THROW OUT WHEN YOU DON'T FEEL THE SAME WAY ANYMORE OR THAT YOUR PARTNER DID SOMETHING OR YOU DID SOMETHING THAT BOTH YOU CANNOT RESOLVED. BUT THE TRUTH IS THAT A MARRIAGE CONTRACT IS A SIGN OF COMMITMENT BETWEEN TWO MATURE PERSON WHO ARE GIVING EACH OTHER THEMSELVES TO BE ONE IN BODY AND SOUL NOT JUST FOR ONE YR., TWO YRS. OR EVEN 6 YRS. BUT FOR EVER.