Since then she's had a very short temper, has threatened to move out, yells a lot, hasn't wanted to have sex, sides against me and with the nanny at all times, hasn't apologized for anything that's happened. Even simple conversations turn into arguements. She has threatened divorcing me 5 times since the baby was born and I'm a great dad. Is this even remotely normal???
2006-12-30 17:11:56 · 29 answers · asked by sharkbite321 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Thank you for all the fantastic responses. I'm going to make an appointment next week.
2006-12-30 17:47:20 · update #1
Sounds like PPD (Post Partom Depression). It can come and go in various strengths. If you can talk to her (try finding a good day), suggest maybe she say something to her doctor about her emotions.
If she won't listen you can call her doctor and voice your concens.
2006-12-30 17:15:22 · answer #1 · answered by ~Just A Girl~ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she has postpartum depression. You should definitely discuss this with her doctor. It's ok to call her doc and ask questions on your own as well. It's a really difficult adjustment for a lot of women so her behavior doesn't sound all that abnormal but the fact that it is beginning to affect your relationship is cause for some concern. Better to get her to the doc and make sure there isn't anything medical going on. If not, definitely see a marriage counselor - even if it's just for a few sessions. After 6 months there is a big hormone adjustment for women and their bodies start to return to normal so you might see some changes then (although for some women that is the time when they would feel a little more depressed). Every symptom you describe could also be attributed to sleep deprivation as well....although having a nanny has to help with that...unless she isn't sleeping at night and doesn't take naps during the day. Good luck. Be patient, having a baby is a really big deal and hard to get used to for a lot of women. A good book on the subject (with an excellent section just for husbands) is "Girlfriends guide to pregnancy" by Vikki Iovine.
2006-12-30 17:20:59 · answer #2 · answered by TM 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand that you really think that you are a great dad.. but does she know that you are a great dad? What are you doing to be a great dad?
She could have some case of post partum depression and need help. Or she could be stressed. Are you helping in any way you can. Did your life change after the baby like hers did.. or did you continue like you were before?
My husband and I had some of the same problems and still do at times. Lets disect this a little further:
SHORT TEMPER: A woman is supposed to clean, cook, worry about bills, laundry, lawn work, do the grocery shopping, and now.. .she has one more thing to do... a baby. This gets stressful. Are you helping as much as you possibly could? Anger is somewhat like building blocks. 10 little things that could make her mad build on each other.. and you may not know those 10 things are making her mad.. until that 11th thing happens and this wall that she has built falls down.. on you.
THREATENED TO MOVE OUT: Something is overwhelming her. Do you go out a lot without her? Does she feel trampled on? If she is threating this... she feels unwanted and that she no longer feels like she belongs there.
YELLS A LOT: Well, obviously talking rationally did not get your attention.. so she now is so out of options that this is the only way she feels like she can communicate with you. You must respond to this better than a talk.
NO SEX: She may feel that all she is good for is sex, cooking, cleaning and taking care of the baby. A woman does not feel sexy or in the mood when she feels taken advantage of. She may just be tired. Sleep deprivation is exhausting.. let me tell you. My daughter is ten months and still wakes up three times a night. Is your wife nursing? That may have something to do with it also. When a woman is nursing.. her breasts are not for a man anymore.. they are for her baby.. and it is hard to make them available for both tasks, feeding and seducing.
NO APOLOGY: Do not wait for her to apologize. She won't. You need to give in to her.. this once. Make her feel wanted, needed. If you need to.. just say, " Yes dear" and forget about it. This time will pass. You just need some understanding.
I don't know your exact circumstances.. but I tried to put everything I could think of.. hope it helps. good luck and congrats on the new baby
2006-12-30 17:27:57 · answer #3 · answered by Jeni W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be she is overwhelmed but since you said there is a nanny that wouldnt make sense. Post partum depression perhaps?
If she wasnt this way before then something is very wrong. As far as her threatening divorce remind her that you would fight for custody of the baby too. She also should not be putting nannys opinion over yours. Thats your baby too. You are going to have to get tough because she is bullying you. Tell her she better see a doctor. This cant be good for the baby and you can use that if you have to. Sometimes you have to apply tough love to people who will not listen. She needs a wake up call.
2006-12-30 17:17:38 · answer #4 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please contact her baby doctors office or the family physician. Request to speak to the nurse in the office. Try not to tell the receptionist what is going on as they might refuse to let you speak to the nurse. Tell them you understand they cannot speak about your wife's condition due to HIPPA laws, however you would like for them to know that she is having severe problems that are not like her that are probably post-partum related (have detailed examples ready). Ask them if they can think of any reason she would have to return for a check-up to see if she would tell them she is having problems and get treatment (yearly physical, pap test, breast cancer exam, etc). If you suggest it she will not go through with it and might resent you more.
Sex is painful after pregnancy sometimes and most women want nothing to do with anything that risks another pregnancy after experiencing childbirth. If you enjoy having a car parked on your abdomen for 12 hours then you would enjoy childbirth. The sensation is the same.
Many women feel better after an emotional release. You may be able to get through to her by non-sexual intimacy. Go to her and hug her often if she will let you. NO Sex talk just holding her. If she cries then she is letting out some of her emotions and it will help. Repeat this often. Even suggesting you lay on the bed and nap while touching each other or cuddled again...no sex...Hope that she lets her emotions out...I am sure it is the last thing on your list of fun, but your wife will recover one day and you will appear to her as a god for being so awesome.
2006-12-30 17:28:14 · answer #5 · answered by Mission Jesus Mom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not always...she may have post partum depression and needs to see a Dr. You have to remember a womans moods are usually governed by her hormones. Now when she's pregnant all the hormones make her feel great..but after the babies born, well all those good hormones leave and she's left with a body that's strange, maybe doesn't feel good, her hair may fall out, lot's of weird things happen, but if I were you, I'd talk to her Dr or find another one that will listen to you and get her some help. Do it now...before she hurts herself or others...
2006-12-30 17:17:26 · answer #6 · answered by Chrys 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well her hormones are all wacked out of shape and I don't know if she is breast feeding which is a whole lot of work and causes even more hormone fluctuations. Does the child sleep through the night and if not she may just be horrible sleepy. It could also be a more serious condition called post partum syndrom for which she may need councilling and perhaps meds. Good luck
2006-12-30 17:16:07 · answer #7 · answered by 'lil peanut 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is called hormones. It will take a few more months for her hormones to get back to normal. If she is crying a lot, and seems to look at the negative things in life, she could be suffering from post-partum depression. Many women suffer from it and don't know it, I would advise her to talk to her doctor. The doctor is the only one who can diagnose her.
2006-12-30 17:21:03 · answer #8 · answered by poohbie_red 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should read about post-partum depression. Perhaps she's suffering from that. Being a new parent is tough for both mom and dad - you two still need to have alone time together, you both need to feel like you're still "you" after having had a child.
2006-12-30 17:16:16 · answer #9 · answered by karespromise 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah Man It's What I Like To Call " The Change " It Happen's To Alot Of Women When They Have Children! Talk To Her, Tell Her How You Feel.
2006-12-30 18:16:02 · answer #10 · answered by † Dark Prince † 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋