I have been on 3 dates with this guy. He is what you can call a "complete package" - good job, looks, nice personality...well he already introduced me to all his friends on date#2 and on date#3 to all his family!!! We come from similar ethnic backgrounds and his family really liked me. He started planning all the things we are going to do in the future already!!!! I told him we should "slow down" and he became angry. He took that as if I were rejecting him...I like him but this has turned me off big time...any ideas?
2006-12-30 17:05:12 · 15 answers · asked by yippie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you've already talked to him about it and he got mad, at least he knows your stand point. Make sure you keep calling him and doing things with him but try to keep it light (ie. just movies, etc). If he starts pushing you to hang with his family again and other things you're not ready for, you'll have to gently bring up again that he's moving to fast but that you really like him and want to see where the relationship could go.
2006-12-30 17:07:44 · answer #1 · answered by sarahjaniepoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like this guy has issues. It's perfectly fine that you met his friends and family so early, but planning your future so aggressively...no You say he's perfect, but look again. Is there something he is hiding?
Also, it seems as though he might be controlling. You obviously are uncomfortable with all of this, and have expressed it. Instead of respecting that, he got angry and didn't back down. Angry and controlling behavior can be a sign of an abuser.
My advice to you is, tell him how you feel again. If he continues to act the way he does, get rid of him. It's too early in the relationship to be dealing with such drama. If this is how he is now, imagine the way he will react/treat you in the future.
2006-12-30 17:13:48 · answer #2 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too bad, I doubt there's anything you can do... You're loosing any attraction you had to him b/c he's just not stimulating you. This is probably a pattern this guy employes with all women.
Sounds strange? Yeah it does! Let me explain... You want tto feel all the wild and exciting fireworks that comes with the beginning of a relationship, the tingles, the feeling of falling in love, and most of all enjoying yourself. His moving you into this happy bunny family type of whatever is anything but exciting to you, end point. Oh and then he gets angry when you reveal you feeling toward him; that puts an emotional barrier up between the two of you.
I know this gals who's pretty hot who started dating this guy who has it all. He had a lot of attributes to go along with his material posessions. However, he bored her right out of any relationship. he moved too fast, he was too agreeable, he practically gave her all the control... Which bored her. Then they ended up as friends.
As a guy I have to ironically say: "It's him and not you!"
2006-12-30 17:28:48 · answer #3 · answered by m8xpayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just broke off a relationship because of this. What do you want out of it? If you want it to work, I agree with taking things slow but not procrastenating. Communication is the key to any relationship, sounds to me like the guy's got his mind made up for the two of you
2006-12-30 17:12:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should always be honest.Tell him how u feel.Its obvisious,"Charity begins at home" and if you can be and are true to yourself then you should put it out there.Just say that you and him are both on the same level but at the same time,your on different speed limits.If he don't stop or slow down then leaving him is the next right at the greenlight.
2006-12-30 17:15:17 · answer #5 · answered by loveorlust23 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him to slow down that you would like to get to know him a little better before you start making plans for the future. sure its ok to think things but give your self a little time to breathe, it sounds like he is trying to get you in the sack and then maybe dump you. Take it slow.
2006-12-30 17:08:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell the dude straight up
"This isn't a rejection, I just think your moving way to fast for me! So please for me, can you tone things down a bit? I really like you & wanna make this work"
Tell him exactly how "YOU" feel...It's affecting YOU & YOUR with him...Like the old saying goes it takes "TWO TO TANGO"
Try working out something that respects both of your guys's beliefs.
Good luck sweet heart
2006-12-30 17:13:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would recommend that you back up and slow down a little. Nobody likes to be rushed and you did try to tell him to slow it down. Do not let him just tell you what to do and when to do it. He obviously is very insecure and overcompensates with these actions.
2006-12-30 17:09:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU RIGHT TO DO THIS, HE IS MOVING TO FAST, AND YOU
ONLY BEEN OUT WITH HIM 3 TIMES, HE NEED TO SLOW DOWN AND SEE IF THIS WILL WORK OUT, BECAUSE IT SOUND LIKE HE LOOKING FOR A PERMANENT SITUATION
SO LET HIM KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. IF HE GET MAD AS
HE DID, THEN MAY BE IT TIME TO LEAVE THIS ALONG.
2006-12-30 17:12:26 · answer #9 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should tell him diff then just say baby i love what your planning and you are a wonderful guy but we just met and i just want t o slow down a lil biti still love you and we will always be togetehr we just need to slow down. i hope yuor not amd. well thats all i got. it should work. best of luck
2006-12-30 17:08:02 · answer #10 · answered by Monica I 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋