I'm trying to tell my 16yr. old niece, that this idiot boyfriend of hers that she is crying over???

Question

will mean absolutely nothing to her in a few years. Of course, she doesn't see it. Why must we all learn the hard way?? You will love LOTS of people in your lifetime!!! LISTEN TO ME GUYS!!!!! NO TEARS!! IT'S JUST NOT WORTH THE WASTE OF YOUR TIME!!! If someone makes you feel bad most of the time, LEAVE THEM!! It IS that easy!! Did anyone hear me???

Dammit!! Don't tell me I'm insensitive!! And, YES, I remember what it's like to be 16... This has been going on with her and this jack-*** for over a year now!!! Thanks to the rest of you for your input!!!

Answer 1

amen.

Answer 2

While I agree with your thinking, I think you are being insensitive to your niece. Young love can be very emotional, intense and painful. We are just stepping out there and putting our feelings on the line - don't minimize them by saying this is no big deal. It is a big deal. You hug her and tell her that time heals all wounds and that the new is always better than the old. As wonderful as she may think the last one was, the next one will be even better.

Each relationship that fails allows us to refine our search for the ideal mate, but that doesn't make the end of any of them easier to take. We all need to grieve and it's the grieving and getting over that makes us strong. It's the being tired of crying all the time that makes us get up and move on. We all need to learn for ourselves, in our own time and our own way. We grieve over lost dreams and fear of the new and the end of an era - there is nothing wrong with that.

Peace!

Answer 3

Trust me it will never happen, you trying to tell her that this guy will mean nothing to her in a few years.

Right now she is dying because he is not around. Maybe even in the back of her mind she knows you are right and may not have even liked him that much.

But that does not matter. She is feeling ALONE.. That is the WORSE feeling alive. Some one could give her a thousand dolalrs and she will be thinking that she does not have dude around to enjoy it with her.

When she and ever young girl (or guy) will look back and see what fools we were but when we are a lot older and more wiser can we walk away from someone is not let it show that it hurts.

Answer 4

It's cause she's 16. Don't we all have that age when we meet someone that we think is THE ONE, even though it's not, it's only young love. Just tell her to get out more and to find a new b/f and that there's so many other guys out there waiting. She doesn't want to listen to your advice because she probably does think that he's really special and that they're going to be together forever. Get it through her head that he's not worth it if he's an asshole.

Answer 5

I hear you loud and clear and agree with you, but we all have to learn the lessons ourselves ... some just learn more quickly than others. Just remember back to when you were 16 and what you were like ... most of us thought we knew it all and that crush was "the one" ... that is until the next one came along and so on and so on ... You've given her your advice and now it'll be up to her to decide what to do with it ... chances are in a few years she will look back and say you were right but for this moment in time, be there to support her and try not to say "I told you so".

Answer 6

Why don't you try a different approach with your niece. She doesn't know what love is yet so try showing her and than telling her. First you should listen to her and hear why she loves this guy. Let her vent about her "love" and than tell her you understand! After she is "done" crying and venting about the b/f ask her why she wants to be with a man that will make her cry? Tell her that old saying about how the one true love is the one that won't make you cry- or whatever that is- lol! Tell her how beautiful she is, etc. Build up her self-esteem so she may want better for herself. Anyways- I hear ya on the crying thing! Stupid men- lol (j/k)

Answer 7

The best thing to do is let her learn it on her own.She'll learn sooner or later.Yea it is hard to see some one you love going through pain but just remember it's her decision to go through the hurt just tell her there's other guys out there and wont hurt you like your going through now.Can be much more happier if you just see whats out there other than hurting over one guy.

Answer 8

Boy I know that I talked with a girl on the phone and I was talking with her.. I found out she's a "gangsta" and loves drinking alchohol... wow that conversation lasted like 10 minutes and I told her I wasn't ready for a realtionship with someone like her ever!
-Evil but it still shows the point!

Answer 9

careful the more you tell her to stay away from him the more she with gravitates towards him - you know the rules the more someone pushes us one way at that age we have to go the other - we found the best way to get rid of our daughters obnoxious boyfriends was to actually make friends with him and then she didn't like him we then made her face up to his shortfalls Mt parents tried so hard to get rid of my boyfriend I married him and happily 26 years later we are still together

Answer 10

How did you feel when you were 16?? it is rough no one could tell me a thing because I knew it ALL. and im sure she does too just be there for her listen and be a shoulder and" i told you so" is ok only once dont push it im 27 and i finally know that my mom is pretty darn smart i realized it 3 yrs ago

Answer 11

I guess until you've been with someone who treats you really special and important then you don't realise what else is out there is better... so everyone learns the hard way.