I can not seem to keep my relationships. I am 34 y/o, do I have hope?

Question

I am 34 y/o. I'd like to think I am average looking in that I always make sure I am dressed nicely before stepping out of my house. I have a shapely body but I'm not obesed or fat. I own my house and car and I have one 11 son who lives with me. I am a communicator and always voice my opinions while considering the feelings of others. My issue is this always lands me in the position of being hurt. How should I approach my next relationship or should I approach it at all? At 34, should I hang it up for a bit? And how long ? Just out what I thought was a serious of a relationship 5 weeks ago, should I start looking again? I am not too fond of playing around but would that be the thing to do?

Answer 1

you sound like you got it going on... I was 34 when I got married, and before that was unable to keep a relationship going for more than 3 months. Now, I'm 42 and have been happily married for more than 7 years. 2 kids and one on the way.

It will happen for you. Don't go crazy trying to find it, but also don't shut yourself out of the dating scene either.

Answer 2

Sounds like you are picking unavailable men. It's common. And we've all been there.

You might want to take a break from dating for a while and start looking at what qualities in men are currently drawing you in. You might have to change your mindset about the types of men you choose to date. There are some informative and interesting blogs out there that address this problem - if you Google "unavailable men" you will see some interesting hits where women are talking about this - especially women in your age group and older.

You can go ahead and get laid without being in a committed relationship. The only issue I have with that is that it seems for many women to use up psychic/emotional energy that we are saving for ourselves in order to get our heads screwed on straight for the next "serious" guy. So getting laid just to get laid is fine, but you better keep two things in mind: 1) it's not worth it if he can't give you mind-blowing orgasms; 2) understand that your feelings will be part of it even if you think they aren't, and this may undermine your search for a "serious" partner.

Good luck!

Answer 3

You have plenty of hope. You just don't have any relationships.

Being sure you're dressed nicely before stepping out of your house, that's one clue that you might have a problem. Try going out in your house clothes more. Go to the park, or work in your garden. Your whole life might be oriented towards finding relationships. But people want someone they can really relate to, not just someone who spends a lot of time looking for a relationship. Do more stuff you can do alone, and people will become interested in you for what you do, not just what you look like.

Answer 4

You should just relax and take a deep breath...the harder you try to find a relationship the longer it will take. Take some time and have fun...play the field a bit until you're sure of what you want..there are so many choices out there. You also have to consider that you have a child at home and do not want to bring someone into his life unless you know its going somewhere.

Answer 5

Don't give up, you are young and have alot to offer the right person. Discover self help through books. I recommend, Finding The Love Of Your Life by Neil Clark Warren, Ph.D.
This book gave me insight on myself and how I could find the love of my life! There was things I was doing that I was not aware of, which put me in the wrong relationships. After reading that book I joined eHarmony. That was over 2 years ago. I found the love of my life...we are getting married in June.
You have made the right step forward....asking for help.
Good luck!

Answer 6

Dude, the ladies folk are not worth it!! i became in a matching place, the initiating of our friendship became advantageous yet as quickly as we've been transitioning right into a pair it became effing hell!! And the relationship became worse! specific she became an incredible kisser, she had an excellent physique yet i became depressing. It became lots of drama. My mom advised me that the initiating of the relationship will make certain something of the relationship, and if it began undesirable, it somewhat is going to finally end up worse. i didn't want to have faith it so I fought to maintain the relationship large. yet she slept with my brother and dumped me. So i found out that each and all of us ladies are a similar and it somewhat is lots extra helpful to maintain them around for a jiffy and then do away with them in the previous they stomp on your heart. Do a similar and be extremely happy like me.

Answer 7

All it takes is timing and a hobby to keep you from paying attention. True love happens when we least expect it. Don't look and you will find that you are just perfect for someone else. All of your flaws will be fantastic for someone.

Good luck. And you are not too old! What does that mean? My 80 year old grandmother is fit, fabulous and engaged for the 9th time to a man 15 years her junior.

Answer 8

Hang it up for a bit and have a good time with your son for awhile---34 is still young. Your son is more important than a relationship and that, the relationship, will come later.
Just relax yourself for awhile--

Answer 9

I am sorry to say that you are utterly screwed and most probably destined to grow old and bedraggled, obtaining sexual favors from the rat scum that scurry our streets in the dead of night.
But I digress...Studies have shown that ones chances at obtaining true love crash once they reach the age of 35. And from what i can surmise you aren't exactly what the male community would label as a "fox." You're more like an exasperated ring tailed lemur with a poor bladder and sweaty palms.
However, there is some good news...it sounds to me like you are a hop, skip and a jump away from actually passing as a dude. My advice is lop off your "goods" and snap on one of those detachable peni.
Good luck to you madam!

Answer 10

I wouldn't exactly start looking for your next marriage when you date. Date for fun, go out with guys without tying yourself down. It may be a little easier for you to have fun and get back into the dating crowd.