2006-12-30 16:57:30 · 9 answers · asked by ChineseRat 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Just be there for him. He has to go thru it himself. No one can go thru it for him. When he is ready, help him move. I loved my first wife dearly, and always will. When I moved, I still missed her, but the "ghosts" were gone. I didn't look at the window where she kept her prize plants, or the shower we had fun in, etc. It was easier to get on with my life. I always advise a widow(er) to move to a diff house or apt. I eventually loved again (but I was 24, not 84) and have had a wonderful marriage of 40 yrs now with my 2nd.
At 84, it was probably no surprise to him, and he probably has been "getting ready for this" for some time. Just be there for him. See that he takes care of himself, takes his meds, etc. Have him over for dinner. Get the grandkids to play with him.
2006-12-30 17:11:39 · answer #1 · answered by old beatnik 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for your loss. I, too was in that situation and I've got to tell you its not easy. Call him once or twice a day. Make sure he isn't alone alot. Get a hold of other family members and decide who and when will go see him to take him out of the house. Make sure someone is helping with any paperwork that has to be done like mail and legal paperwork since her passing. He probably isn't up to doing everything for himself. Be sure that he is eating and drinking. (Take him out to lunch) You didn't mention his living situation or his mental state. But if he now lives alone you will need to keep him busy without making a pest of yourself. And make sure someone is keeping his place clean. Don't forget to check the frig. Take him grocery shopping. If he is healthy enough take him places that he may want to see. Most people his age can't hear well enough to go to the movies, but renting an oldie but goodie and making a snack is a good way of spending time if he's not up to going out. Ask him if there is anything or anyone that he would like to see. But don't wear him out. He probably takes a nap from time to time during the day. And that is normal. Just keeping him as happy and as busy as possible. That's all you can do. Good luck.
2006-12-30 17:21:11 · answer #2 · answered by HDGranny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Married sixty 5 years wow this is infrequently heard of. Your father replaced right into a blessed guy and is lacking his spouse very a lot. you may't take what he had for sixty 5 years and assume him to recover from it in 2 years. it is going to take time (somewhat some time) and all you and your sister can do is help him. The greater you worry him with reference to the greater he will stay on it and could not budge to flow on. in case you enable him manage it on his own he would snap out of it. purely be there for him. good success
2016-12-11 19:38:11 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for him...He has lost his whole life, and there is nothing that can replace that, but knowing that you still care about him, knowing that he is still loved, knowing that there is still a life after part of him is gone, is the best thing for him...You can never replace the loss of a loved one, but you can do things that make him feel better about the loss...Talk to him, see what he has to say...Once agian, there is nothing that you can really do except be there for him when he needs it the most, now...
2006-12-30 17:23:41 · answer #4 · answered by J-Bird 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about if the BOTH of you find a grief support group through either your church and/or your doctor ... and go to the group ... it will definitely help to be there in the company of others who have the same grief at this time of year ...
2006-12-30 17:56:14 · answer #5 · answered by sglmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit with him and ask him about his wife and just get him talking. He may cry but that is good. Be a good listener and remind him of the good days with her and give him lots of cuddles. Unfortunately only time heals all wounds.
2006-12-30 17:42:09 · answer #6 · answered by slipper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do your best and be there for him,try to get him to do things with you.I wish I could say I know how he feels ,but that would be a big lie.My heart and prays go out to him .. I wish only the best for both of you .
2006-12-30 17:11:45 · answer #7 · answered by colliedogcody 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no easy answer to that question. Time will help!
2006-12-30 17:05:21 · answer #8 · answered by curious 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be there for him , try to stay with him for a while until he gets better ...
2006-12-30 21:24:02 · answer #9 · answered by abukhalaf88 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋