My parents tend to think that everyone is out to get something for themselves, and it makes it hard at times to view anyone as fun or worth being friends with in a real way - as more than an aquaintance. I think they are more negative about people than need be, because I've lived by myself for a while, and have found that many people are nice enough. But whenever I am around my parents, it is hard to see people this way - especially my friends and boyfriends. They always find something wrong with them - they are not generous enough, or polite enough, or are too selfish. But most of the time, they are just normal human beings as far as I see.
It makes it really hard to enjoy being around other people sometimes. Part of me really wants to just ignore them, but then they are also right about many things. But I can't live my life always thinking my friends are going to be selfish to me or something, esp.when the only thing they might have done wrong was to forget to hold open a door once!
2006-12-30 16:29:11 · 8 answers · asked by starlet_8 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It is MUCH better for friendships [or any relationship] if you are willing to assume the best of someone. That means, if something can be taken either way - assume they meant it the GOOD way. Yeah, sometimes you'll be wrong, and you'll get burned - but you'll get burned if you think badly of people, too. The payoff is that you will enjoy people so much more and they will be more comfortable around you and will feel like you see the 'real' them.
Okay, so what to do about your negative parents. What I would do is everytime they say something bad about someone, either out loud or just in my head, I would say something good, or something to alleviate what they just said. For instance, your parents say: "She's late again. She is always late. She is so irresponsible and inconsiderate." And you say to yourself, "My friend is just so relaxed! She is comfortable in our friendship." This really will affect your thinking about feeling about that person, and I'll bet this will solve your problem.
Another thing to consider is...maybe your parents are right, and the person they are referring to really does have that particular fault...then you need to tell yourself that you aren't perfect either, and you want to be loved in spite of your faults, and you are big enough to allow others to not be perfect.
2006-12-30 16:39:38 · answer #1 · answered by Cris O 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your out on your own then your parents can only give their opinion on what they think which is typical of us parents but everytime they say something negative about something you know for a fact to be untrue just come back with a positive response if you know it's not true most of the time positive comments can over power negative ones 2 to 1. Good Luck!
2006-12-30 16:36:19 · answer #2 · answered by 2sweet4u 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They're prolly just protecting you. Still, it isn't right to constantly criticize other people, it may end up rubbing off on you. I say for every mean or negative thing they say, come back with a good thing to say. And keep doing it, eventually they'll get the message. Anyway they 're your parents and you're you. Who cares what they think!
2006-12-30 16:35:14 · answer #3 · answered by sweetmanofchocolate 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
some people go through life just looking for negitive things to ***** about. they cheat themselfs out of the beauty and goodness in life. your choices are to see and reconize the goodness around you. the good people and good things in life are far greater then the bad. the media always points out the bad which makes it appear that we live in a bad world. I have found that if i just avoid negitive people and negitive things i have a very happy life.
it will be much harder for you since your parents are negitive people. good luck to you
2006-12-30 16:41:49 · answer #4 · answered by eaglerock60 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I try to stay away from negative people. You have to form your own opinions about the people you choose to surround yourself with. Your parents' experience is nothing like yours and you have to have a mind of your own or you won't end up with any friends or relationships.
2006-12-30 16:32:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you ought to ignore approximately it. each and every person has flaws. Its the very fact of existence. yet what you've that others do no longer is the ability to embody what ever your down falls could be, and make the main suitable of them. whilst somebody talks down in simple terms be attentive to the only individual who can choose you is god and your self. If its advantageous grievance then you definately ought to hearken to and learn how to no longer take each and every factor own. existence's difficult in some situations, so positioned a helmet on and smile with the aid of fact in the tip your the only and in basic terms grasp of your destiny!~
2016-10-06 06:00:35 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think your right..why surround yourself with negativity after all it will only rub off on you. they are your parents so i suggest you talk to them about your feelings let them know that you feel they see the bad in everyone and you have learned to see people positively and how you feel uncomfortable with them being that way around your friends
2006-12-30 16:50:48 · answer #7 · answered by the quiet one 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ignore it, it's what I do.
2006-12-30 16:38:27 · answer #8 · answered by Rocker Chris 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋