We are coworkers and I gave her a nice compliment saying I enjoy being around her. She said "that's so sweet." So as I left she went and asked one of my coworker friends if I had a cursh on her. My friend said yes. She said well I think he's cute. My friend told me she thinks i'm cute so I went and told her that I have a crush on her. She said "that's so sweet. She gave me a hug and after we hug I told her I would of told her sooner, but she you have a boyfriend. She didn't say anything about that really. So the next day she starts to flirt a lilttle. I didn't flirt back because she has a boyfriend.I gave this girl this letter well here's what it said When we first talk and after the conversation was over I started to like you. So everytime when you talk to me I get butterflies and feel tigly inside. Also when we make eye contact I get nervous. That's why you see me not making too much eye contact with you. I enjoy your company. I still have a crush on you.When you told me you might get another job I was sad. You're such a sweet,kind, and caring person. Your very pretty.You have such a beautiful smile and it makes me smile too. You have pretty blue eyes. I can't stop thinking about you. Your always on my mind. If you don't like me the way I like you. I'll understand and we can just be friends.
I gave it to her yesterday and I saw her today and she didn't say anything about it. I didn't asked her about it. I was kinda down today and really didn't feel like talking. Anyways I didn't tease her back or flirt with her back because she has a boyfriend. I played it cool and kinda ignore her I just wasn't in the mood to talk. And she knew that. Anyways she thought I lost interest in her so she said "You don't like me anymore" and walk away fast and look back at me and smile at me. She knows I still like her, but she has a boyfriend. We are co-workers and her boyfriend makes her come into work crying sometimes. I don't know why she stays with him, but she does. Anyways she didn't say anything about the letter still. She show all her co-worker friends the letter and told them I like her. She never told them that she likes me. Sometimes she flirts with me. I didn't flirt back I played it cool. Today I gave her a christmas present. It was a glass angel. Well she like it, but she didn't want it because her boyfriend would be so mad at her for accepting it. She didn't give it back to me, she left it in the front office and told the manager about the situation. She told him that I like her and treat her different than other girl employees and she feels uncomfortable around me. And told the manager she just wants to be friends with me.The manager talk to me about it that's how I know. So this past wednesday I was walking near her and the manager she thought I was walking towards her, but I wasn't she walk away pretty fast in a different direction. So we both ignore each other that night. And havn't seen each other since. But tomorrow I will see her. Any advice on what to do?
2006-12-30 16:23:32 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes, you did mess it up "big time." To put it bluntly, you came on too hard, too strong, too fast, and she got scared. You should have stopped with the office conversation; the letter and gift were what sent her running in the opposite direction.
Since you can't change the past, you can only try to fix your honest mistake, and work on a better future.
1. Apologize to the woman. You have to let her know that you got the wrong impression from office gossip (never go on what a third party has told you), and took it too seriously. You made a mistake with you actions based on misinformation, and want to make things right. You are willing to take a step back, so she is more comfortable, and try to keep your friendship on a more professional level.
2. Offer to take the angel back. Not because you don't want her to have it, but because it caused some problems. Her boyfriend doesn't approve, and it made her uncomfortable to accept a gift from a man who she knows has feelings for her. Even though she already dealt with it in her own way, she should appreciate the gesture: you are willing to remove the tangible show of affection.
3. Apologize to your manager. The last thing you want is a threat to your job security based on an almost office romance. Let your manager know that this kind of mistake won't happen again, and you will behave more appropriately for the job. You are lucky nothing came out of her bring this situation to the manager's attention; it could have come with a serious reprimand, or worse.
Then try your best to get on with your life, and keep things at work on a business level. Don't indulge in flirtations, gossip, or other socialzing if it can be avoided. When you see the woman, smile and be polite, but don't put on any kind of act of playing it cool, or ignoring her. It will only make things worse for both of you. She'll think you are playing games, and it will only make her more uncomfortable around you.
Do your best to treat all your co-workers the same, make and female alike. They aren't there to be your best friends, nor are any of the women there to be a part of your dating service. Every single person, without exception, is there to do their job, as well as they can, and collect their pay for doing it.
Then start looking for love outside the job. This is a prime example of why office romance is a bad idea: they make for tricky working conditions. If you can turn your affections to a woman you don't have to work with, not only will it make things easier on the job, but it will also give you a smooth path for the relationship itself. There won't be any pressure from having to see each other every day, even after things go bad.
2006-12-30 16:51:51 · answer #1 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since she talked to the manager about it, you need to just play it cool and leave her alone.
Please, don't feel like you messed up! At first, she was probably flustered by your attention and liked it (maybe on a bad day with her bf) but then decided it was too much. Even if you really, really like her, please, don't get yourself in trouble at work over this, it is not worth it. Also, as you mentionen many times, she does have a bf, and even if she'd break up with him, then you'd be the rebound man!
I know, no matter how much I write, it is not going to change your feelings for her; just try to analyse the situation a bit and don't risk your job over it!!!
And who knows (don't count on it!) - if you ignore her for a change, she might get interested again...
2006-12-30 16:33:32 · answer #2 · answered by avechm 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Walk away ... it only sounds like trouble to me. Accept that you like this girl, but that things aren't going to work right now. Sometimes we perceive kind gestures as more when we have feelings for someone. Dating is difficult enough and adding a work environment to the mix is never an easy thing. Stop with the letters confessing your feelings to her and the gifts. Sounds like nothing is going to happen and its time to let go and move on. My best to you.
2016-03-29 01:36:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your co-worker is complaining to the manager, the girl is not interested. I would just stay away from her.....she's not worth losing your job over.
2006-12-30 16:32:57 · answer #4 · answered by Yvette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if her boyfriend makes her cry daily then fight for her , make her feel special, more special than he does. if she really is not interested in you this way then be the best friend she ever had and she will come around to feeling the same way you do, but don't be fake about. give her your heart
2006-12-30 16:36:30 · answer #5 · answered by Rick S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋