my mom and i constantly fight about my weight and my dad just stands by and usually takes my moms side when we fight. ever since i can remember my mom has been on me about my weight and how i need to lose weight becasue im fat. i use to be okay with the way i look but now i cant pass by anything that shows my reflection without critisizing my self completely things wouldnt be so bad if my mom would appologize sometimes about the things that shes said to me. like on my birthday last year she walked into the bathroom and told me that i looked pregnant. i bursted out into tears and locked myself in the bathroom for a couple of hours she never said she wsa sorry and it still bothers me to this day ive confronted her about this but she stil has yet to appologize. i feel like the only thing left to do is develop an eating disorder and lose a whole lot of weight fast so shell stop picking me what should i do???
2006-12-30 16:13:11 · 15 answers · asked by brunettebeauty13 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
im going to LA weightloss and started a diet but it still isnt good enough for her and i work out with a trainer 2 times a week and am pretty active anyways...
2006-12-30 16:26:43 · update #1
DON'T HATE YOURSELF!!! I will tell you this everyone is beautiful There is no one out there that is perfect < unless it cost them alot. we all have our faults, weight is a really tough battle, There are so many reasons for it. Don't try to loose it fast that not healthy and there is a greater chance of gaining it back. sometimes parents don't feel they need to apologize to kids or don't see they did anything wrong. they feel they can say and do anything and because they love you it has to be right. Talk to your Dr and follow his instructions, they are good at this stuff , it may be there is a medical reason, all you can do is your best, and be the best person you can. be proud of who you are. maybe let mom help take an idea here and there and maybe then she will back off.Good luck keep your chin up and remember you are beautiful, no matter what anyone says
2006-12-30 17:23:32 · answer #1 · answered by loveamouse7767 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ermm.. first of all, i've been down that lane. TONS of family issues, etc. All I can say is (from experience), do not even think of starting an eating disorder. When you start eating regularly again after an eating disorder you gain all the weight back & more very quickly. Also, it rots your teeth (from the stomach acid), gives you something huge that you'll have to deal with your entire life, and if you do it long enough, causes infertility (you will never be able to produce babies). There are MANY, many other horrible downsides to eating disorders, so I hope you reconsider your decision.
If you really, truly want/need to lose weight, go for a healthy alternative. Talk to your doctor to decide a healthy diet and workout plan, or try Weight Watchers. My friend did Weight Watchers and she lost 60 pounds and she's happier than ever.
Love, Katie
2006-12-31 00:24:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your mom is way out of line with what she is doing. criticizing someone is the worst way to make a person change, because instead of building up their self confidence and feeling they have the power to change, the criticism brings them lower and they give up trying. believe me I know how you feel. I've been there, but in a different situation. You really need to talk to your mom about how she is discouraging you instead of encouraging you. Those are two totally different tactics in helping a person. im sure she just wants the best for you but doesnt know how to get it done. losing weight fast is way unhealthy. You should only lose around 2 to 3 pounds a week. Some tips are of course exercising, which is a big one. also, try not to eat after 7 in the evening. ask your mom if she can have three set meals at the same time every day to keep you from snacking. at first, you will need to snack. buy healthy stuff. junk is ok every once in awhile.
lastly, you need to find a way to start loving yourself. not being cocky, but being satisfied and grateful that you have a fully working body, and a chance to improve it.
2006-12-31 00:23:14 · answer #3 · answered by bballsistaKT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When i was younger my friends mom was like that to her to she made her run skate etc to loose the weight she was always making fun of her till one day my friend sat down at the table and looked at her mom and said enough im not taking this she grabbed a pie and ate the hole thing really fast her mom was yelling the whole time but she didnt stop after she said did that make you feel good watch this and she puked all over the place and told her the only way she was gonna loose the wait was to purge and barf and wanted to share it with her mom since shes the one who put her there her mom never called her fat again sorry you are going threw this and what ever you do dont crash diet its not healthy for you
2006-12-31 00:22:44 · answer #4 · answered by ibebarbie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your mother is verbally and emotionally abusing you. if you really think you need to lose weight, do it sensibly: eat 3 healthy, balanced, portion-controlled meals a day with exercise 3-4 days a week for 20-30 minutes a day. since verbal and emotional abuse can take a toll on your self-esteem (which it seems to have started doing so), talk to a qualified therapist or doctor, or, before you take that step, talk to a friend or trusted adult about the situation. those people should be able to give you the confidence you need to stand up to your mother. writing a letter would be helpful also. but, whatever you do, don't attempt to give yourself an eating disorder. please.
2006-12-31 00:40:25 · answer #5 · answered by Rebekah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. I am still the fat kid and I am 34 years old. Stand your ground with your mom. she is right that you do need to lose for your health.. I know this cause I'm going through all the problems now, BUT she should be supportive and helpful and you need to tell her that. DONT do something stupid like purging and stuff like that. your mom should not be insulting you cause it does no good. tell her she needs a face lift maybe she'll get the hint good luck stay strong
2006-12-31 00:21:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
From someone who lost a sister to anorexia its the last thing you should think about doing. Its a disease that takes over every ounce of a person and many can never beat it.
If you are serious about losing weight then please, please do it sensibly with a healthy diet and exercise. And more importantly do it for yourself and not to make anyone else happy. You need to feel good about the way you look and who you are.
Do what you need to do to take care of yourself and feel good about yourself. Your mom should be supporting you in a healthy lifestyle and not condemning.
My best to you my dear ....
2006-12-31 00:19:37 · answer #7 · answered by J 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how you really feel! Write a letter to her and leave it somewhere she'll see it. I'm sure if you developed an eating disorder, which comes with many bad side effects, she'd feel bad about everything she's said to you. One time when I was 13 my mom pulled on my shirt to make me stop from walking away from her and then she was like "what do you have a baby iggy in there?" (Iggy was my pet) ....Needless to say...I ran into my room and cried myself to sleep. Everytime I bring that up now she says she doesn't remember it....B*LL SH*T!!! Your mom has no reason to say things like that to you...it's emotional abuse...stand up for yourself chica! Who's gonna do it if you don't?
2006-12-31 00:20:05 · answer #8 · answered by Shelly 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
oh, baby. Your mom is verbally and emotionally abusive, and your dad is a spineless schmuck. You should talk to a teacher or school counselor about how your mom's comments make you feel. Maybe they can help your mom see it from your perspective.
She probably thinks that she is just helping you be more healthy or successful in life, but your parents should always be on your side, protecting you and building you up, not hurting you this way.
2006-12-31 00:18:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Dear brunettebeauty13,
What you explain says something about your mom, it does not say a thing about you. How you act or react says something about you, if you don't like the way your mom's treating you certainly do not treat her or anyone else that way.
The sum total of the person you are, or ever will be, is not the things that have happened to you throughout your life, you are the sum total of your reactions to those things, especially the negative things.
Train yourself to react in a positive way to negative input, my granddaughter tells me that's not possible, but it is possible if you're willing to train yourself to react in a positive way to especially negative things in your life.
Doesn't sound to like your mom's going to change anytime soon, so choose (train yourself) to react in a positive way when she says something less than kind, i.e., be kind and loving in return.
I'm a Christian and Jesus tells me to: Matthew 5:43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemies.’ 44 But I say to you, love your enemies. Pray for those who hurt you."
The Holy Bible : New Century Version , containing the Old and New Testaments. 1991 . Word Bibles: Dallas, TX
Your mom certainly is not your enemy, but it does sound like she can be hurtful to you, I'd advise you to simply forgive her, and, if your so inclined, pray for her, and choose to react in a loving kind way towards her.
Your mom may never change, you don't control that, she does, but you do have control over your own conduct. You can change the way you react if your willing, not saying its easy, but it is doable. Best of Luck, and love your mom no matter how she treats you, see if that gets her to change.
Whatever you do, do not toy with the eating disorder thing, that's a dead end road.
God Bless, Sincerely Rick
2006-12-31 00:46:35 · answer #10 · answered by RickN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋