I have issues with Pagan men. There are three Pagan men that I trust in the whole world and two of them are gay. My very first High Priest raped me and ever since then, most Pagan men I've met were total pigs. Today I met a really nice Pagan guy and he was very respectable to me, a real gentleman. He expressed interest in taking me out on a date, but I'm scared to go out with him in fear that the whole politeness thing is an act and that his true colors as a pervert will show. Does anyone know what I should do?
And no, I won't convert to Christianity or pray to any Gods other than Pagan ones, so don't bother saying so. This is a serious question in need of serious answers.
Thanks in advance.
2006-12-30 15:23:49 · 10 answers · asked by Maria Isabel 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Oh and for the record, I'm an adult and so is he.
2006-12-30 15:24:08 · update #1
I am sorry you were raped...
My advice is to think about this and figure out if you are distrusting of pagan men or of all men. Maybe you aren't ready to date. I would imagine it is hard to be alone with a man you don't know very well considering what you went through.
I think you should talk about this with a family member, preferably a female, maybe your mom or sister, or cousin. If you want to date this man, but you are afraid of being raped, have your gay guy friends go with you on the date. They can go with you on several dates until you become comfortable with the new man.
I would just let the new man know what is going on with you mentally, and that you prefer that you double date for a while. He should be understanding.
I dont know anything about paganism but I imagine that it doesn't support rape. If this is true you need to convince yourself of this. It may take some time.
I hope this helps. Best of luck to you honey.
2006-12-30 15:34:44 · answer #1 · answered by ÜFÖ 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you may still have some issues from what happened before.(who wouldn't) Have you gone to counseling? If not than I would bet that you are harboring feelings from before, even if you think you are fine now. It looks to me that because you were wronged so severely by an authority figure you held in high esteem, that anyone else you trust or begin to hold in high esteem you quickly put up a guard. This is also known as a pain-coping mechanism. And you probobly feel okay with gay men because you know they won't hurt you in that aspect. Don't go out with anyone until you see a therapist. Because no matter how good the guy is, you will find perversion in him if that's all you are looking for. You owe it to yourself to NOT re-enforce those past feelings. That will just close you off more. There are good men left in this world. Lots of them. But you will never find them unless you learn how to come to an acceptance with what happened. I'm so sorry for what you have been through. Don't give up on the whole barrel because the apple on top was rotten. Don't expect for all the others to be bruised at the bottom. He abused his position and he has serious consiquences that will follow.
2006-12-31 00:13:47 · answer #2 · answered by molly s 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here's my view on the subject. Most people become Pagan or Wiccan because they feel like outcasts from society. They're the same kind of people who are goths in high schools. People who follow these religions do so just to be different and feel like they have something special about themselves. Trying to find a desirable mate among people such as these is going to be hard to do.
www.godisimaginary.com
2006-12-30 23:41:48 · answer #3 · answered by Darwin d00d 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do they have to be Pagans? Why are you so certain that paganism is the way? Why do people fall for these man-made religions and beliefs? Why does it have to be a person or an animal that creates?
2006-12-30 23:27:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
If you were an adult, you would do the adult thing and protect yourself, not come on here and ask a question if you should trust someone, and above that share such a personal thing such as being raped.
2006-12-30 23:27:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Only meet in public places or have a Chaperon until you feel safe.
2006-12-30 23:27:46 · answer #6 · answered by michaelsan 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know him, so I don't know what to tell you. Guys can be bad, but they can be good to. You are very right to be cautious with anyone you don't know that well, but you can't let it completely stop you from being happy.
2006-12-30 23:32:53 · answer #7 · answered by Alex 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you anwsered your on ?you need to start trusting again sometime all men are not like the preist or bthere is always not ever date again choose to trust or life alone good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-12-30 23:30:14 · answer #8 · answered by THE WAR WRENCH 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with him. Tell him what has happened, and if he is as nice as I hope he is, he will understand.
2006-12-30 23:34:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
"Primera muerta que sincilla"..you sing that song. don't you?
2006-12-30 23:26:25 · answer #10 · answered by Royal Racer Hell=Grave © 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋