I need a man's opinion?

Question

Why is it so hard for some men to commit? I love my boyfriend very much and i'm still dealing with issues from my ex and he been helpful with me moving on. But when I talk about the future he gets quiet. I'm only 20 and he's 23 and I have no intent on getting married soon. But i'd like to maybe get an apartment with him. He still lives at home and it bothers me we never get any alone time. I'm still in college so I live on campus. Am I being petty by always asking why we can't do certain things now (like travel, move in together etc) or is it ok since it is my life?

I want to make this work so I keep my mouth shut but then I always end talking about it and I don't want to nag because no one like a ******.

We've been dating over a year. He just graduated college last May. We get along great we're best friends. My whole issue with my ex is learning to trust again and I do but sometimes I just don't feel attractive to my boyfriend.

Answer 1

Maybe expense is an issue for him or something. I think you should be patient. He's only 23! I would give him a chance to get on his feet if I were you. You didn't say how long you were dating either. Maybe he feels that it's too soon! Considering your ages, he might be right for thinking so. Maybe you should talk to him. Good night!

Answer 2

You say that you are still dealing with issues from your ex and also that you have no intentions of getting married anytime soon. I can only guess, of course, but if I personally were in that situation, I wouldn't want to be talking about getting serious and defineately not about moving in together with a girl who was still dealing, in any fashion, with an ex. And moving in together is a pretty serious move to make only when you ARE committed to a serious future together, which you admit that you aren't interested in at this time. Not to mention that you both are still very young in the grand scheme of things. So why would he risk getting so deeply entangled with someone who, at best, can only offer him what I call 'shifting sand' - an uncertain future?

As I say, there is a lot I don't know about this situation, like what his personality or outlook on life is or how well the two of you get along, but rather only what you have mentioned here.

As to wanting to travel and other things and he not having the time, well, it IS your life and if the person you want to do things with doesn't want to or isn't able to do them with you, then perhaps you need to consider 'moving on' and finding someone else who is interested in doing these things with you.

But honestly, if you are still now getting over a past lover, then I personally think you need to take a break and just have YOU time. Get your bearings back, your feet on solid ground and then think about what and/or with whom you want to become involved with.

Answer 3

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Answer 4

You are still young, so give yourselves more time before any commitments!
He is wise for not committing to you yet. He's obviously not too sure of himself, so do not push him. You will only scare him off if you continue to want a permanent commitment from him.
You have to know more about him and his thinking, because unless you know his true mindset, your relationship will falter later on! You appear to be unsure of his mindset and what he wants in a permanent relationship.
So, use your time together to understand each other better before making any permanent relationship commitments.

Answer 5

I loved my girlfriend and she got freaked out when I said the first syllable of marriage. I don't know if anythings wrong with his life but I know sometimes I just want things to not change for a while so I can get myself back on my feet; i'm sure he cares about you but just doesn't want to rush his life; or maybe he is just a bit shy.

Answer 6

I would try to actuakly have a consversation with him. He will listen, like alot of men. Try it.

He may want to get an apartmebnt, if you two "really" like each other. Just talk to him, and that will not make you a ****** so dont woory.

Answer 7

i know u want a guys opinion but i know alot of guys and they tell me alot of **** n he just doesnt sound ready for it as u said ur 20 n have no intent on being married soon maybe he feels the same finish school then see where u guys are at

Answer 8

guys have trouble with the issue of commitment, any sign of that is hard, so what you may need to do is to take away his favourite thing (SEX) due to him living at home or you at the dorm, so say you guys can't do it for a while due to people being around etc, and he'll realize to move out with you soon.

Answer 9

Is it possible that he is old-fashioned in the sense that he does not want to live with a woman to whom he is not married? Also, is he still in the university? Does his academic program and workload distract him from long-term planning?

Answer 10

stay in your dome room, finish school. get a lob then worry about love. ya don't need to be living in sin of sex. you 2 are doing the right thing. i think that you'll be able to respect each other better by doing it the way that you are going
.