My grandmother is 81 and cannot live alone anymore. I am very close to her and love her to death, but she doesn't drive and is becoming more and more forgetful everday. Me and my husband are in the process of buying a new home and was thinking about getting a bigger house than originally talked about and asking my grandmother to live with us - my husband is supportive of whatever decision I make. I have 2 children, 7 and 2, who are also very close to my grandmother - she adores them.
I'm just worried about the effect it would have on kids if she got really sick or if she started forgetting who they were.
Does anyone have any experience with this? I would HATE to see my grandmother have to go into a nursing home, but I'm worried about taking care of her myself also. Any advice would be great.
I should also say that I drive her to all her doctors appointments and do all her shopping, etc. and the only other family nearby is an aunt whose husband is a horrible alcoholic.
2006-12-30 14:29:42 · 10 answers · asked by hotmomma 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I applaud you for caring so much for your grandmother! You are certainly unique & must be a very beautiful person.
I understand your concern about your children, however, children are very resilient and must understand that part of living is dying. I'm sure it would be more beneficial for them to have her in their lives, if even for a brief moment, than to go with out knowing their great-grandmother.
I have seen nursing homes, and personally, I would never put my mother or grandparents in one, for reasons I will not discuss on this board.
You might want to consider having an aid come in several times a week to help you with her. I don't know if you are a working mother, but if you are, an aid can prove useful in helping your grandmother with her appointments etc. Plus, an aid will provide some private time for you and your family in cause you need to go on a vacation or whatnot.
Happy new year & good luck!
2006-12-30 14:36:10 · answer #1 · answered by NautyRN 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to your closeness with your grandmother. Mine is the same age and experincing the forgetting things too. if you are close to her, your kids are close to her and your husband supports you, then do what you think is right. if you cannot see her go to a nursing home and would never want her with the alcoholic, let her stay with you.
explain to your kids about her age and some things like her forgetfulness but if you do not want to let her go somewhere else, let her stay with you. if you have gotten this far with taking care of her and doing all the nice things for her (doctors, shopping) then it should be no problem now.
good luck
happy new year
2006-12-30 14:35:52 · answer #2 · answered by Frankel 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a wonderful granddaughter. Invite your grandmother to live with you - I think you can have "help" come in 2-3 times a week, paid by medicare. If at a time, she does not remember, or you cannot care for her, then you can consider other options. God bless you!
2006-12-30 14:34:24 · answer #3 · answered by NAN G 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-06 05:53:45 · answer #4 · answered by sashi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My grandmother had Alzheimer's and she forgot who I was, my dad, and her great-grandchildren. She lived me when she died. Keep her with you. You won't regret it. I know it kind of hurts when they forget who you are, but you shouldn't forget who they are because they are someone very special, and I think it would hurt even more if that loved one was sent to a nursing home, away from her family.
2006-12-30 15:21:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take her to a doctor to see if she has Alzheimers, and if she can get medicine for it. Get her into the habit of taking public transportation, by going with her the first few trips. Get her in the habit of walking places, by walking with her at first. Get her a cell phone, in case she gets lost. Keep her out of a nursing home. A nursing home is the beginning of the end.
2006-12-30 14:34:54 · answer #6 · answered by x4294967296 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
BEING A NURSE I WOULD RECOMMEND THAT YOU DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT YOUR GRANDMA WILL CONTINUE TO AGE AND DECLINE-WILL IT BE HARDER FOR YOU TO DEAL WITH ON A DAILY BASIS?IF SO MAYBE YOU SHOULD CONSIDER PUTTING HER IN A RESIDENTIAL HOME OR ASSISTED LIVING.IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU REALLY WANT TO BE THERE FOR HER ON A DAILY BASIS SO MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET A HOME HEALTH TO COME IN A DAY OR TWO A WEEK TO RELIEVE THE STRAIN ON YOU AND GIVE EVERYONE A MENTAL BREAK.YOUR CHILDREN WONT BE AFFECTED BY SEEING YOUR GRANDMA DECLINE NEGATIVELY-IT IS A FACT OF LIFE AND IT MIGHT BE A GOOD THING TO SEE HOW YOU STEPPED UP TO TAKE CARE OF HER-MAYBE THEY WILL DO THE SAME FOR YOU SOME DAY.
2006-12-30 14:38:27 · answer #7 · answered by jellybeans33 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think if you and your husband have talked it over and you talk it over with your seven year old things could be okay. You should check in your area and her doctor should be able to help you with help elderly programs, daycares, senior citizens centers for activities to still get her out in, nursing care at home to help you. Best of luck.
2006-12-30 14:42:48 · answer #8 · answered by cheoli 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How big is her house? Maybe you could move in with her and care for her. That way you could save toward your house. Familiar surroundings would be much better for her. If the house is not big enough for all of you it could pose a problem. I think it is wonderful that you love her that much. God Bless You.
2006-12-30 14:35:36 · answer #9 · answered by classic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do it. i wanted to but i didn't have the means when my gramma was alive, my aunt promised to look after her but she ended up dying in a care home miles away and alone.... i raced there in my clunker but got there 10 minutes too late. if you love someone nothing is too much to do, don't end up with regrets like i have.
2006-12-30 14:39:25 · answer #10 · answered by nanabooboo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋