Abusive Girlfriend?

Question

My girlfriend broke up with me; and her excuse was because she has a unstable family which she does. I just found out that while I was with her she was abusing a medicine called Sonata; taking 6-8 pills at a time, when a dosage is only one! I confronted her about it and she just got mad with me and I try to tell her I care about her and she just stops talking to me and just avoids me; I don't understand where I go wrong I cared about her a lot and i'm not a mean or abusive person - though she calls me mean a lot only because I try to talk to her about things like that which she does that is not good for her. What can I do to cope with it? A couple weeks ago I felt like killing myself because I got tired of trying to find someone to love and only getting hurt over and over.

I can't get over her.

Right now I don't care if she's my girlfriend or not I just want to help her and it hurts when she doesn't want me to; I don't want to see her die because she was stupid and took too much medication I don't want to see her die.

Answer 1

Don't kill yourself because of that, dude. Some girls are just plain psycho. You should move on. Trust me, if you had problems like that they wouldn't want anything to do with you either. Good luck with the next one!

Answer 2

Is it possible the med is not working, is this why she's doing it? If so she needs to talk with her physician. Here is the best thing for you to do. If you really care don't give up, ease off the confrontation for a day or so and see what happens. One of two things will. Either she will admit that the problem bothers her as well, and she don't know how to quit, but that doesn't mean she will come clean and decide to quit. It just means your making progress. Or she will keep it a secret and no longer talk to you about it. It is possible if you keep on she will split. Eventually try to get her to stop, by going cold turkey or to see a physician. She's about to overdose on them. Sonata is an instant release med, and she's slamming her body when she takes more than the prescribed dose. If you must, tell someone who can take action against her on this. Don't talk about killing yourself, don't whimp out on life like that. Take it from someone who knows. Since you feel this strong about it, get some help for both of you, pronto.

Answer 3

No stop killing your self is not the answer it is not good for you to do that and can affect many people around you. I think it sounds like you did the best you could to help her and she just didn't respond the way you wanted as hard as it will be you'll have to get over it you tried and she didn't want the help so there is nothing you can do about it. You sound like you mean well I think the reason you haven't found love is because maybe your going after the same kind of women you don't ever need a woman who takes drugs and beats her self emotionally about things. God made a person out there for every one believe it or not you should continue to try and find that person and move on. I know you can do it please try and I'm sure you'll find your mystery lady.

Answer 4

You appear to be a caring thoughtful young man.
Never put up with abuse you do not deserve it.
Try not to be in such a rush in finding a girl friend when the time is right things will happen naturally it will be worth the wait there is someone out there for you .
If someone is on a self destruction course you cannot change that
As you have seen she does not want to listen.
You cannot reach into someone elses head their own free will and motivation has to make the changes.
Your happiness is God given it does not come from another human being this is where a lot of people become disillusioned in relationships.
Each morning you wake up God has given you breath for today learn to live in the moment and enjoy the simple things which
surround you.
Take care!

Have a wonderful New Year!

Answer 5

Rob,

No chick is worth killing yourself over remember that! I know it's hard when you care for someone but you can't change people man. People only change if they want to, if you really care for her, maybe talk to a counselor if she is in fact endangering her life with those pills. Doesn't sound like her mom and dad are the sharpest tools in the shed so that will probably be a waste of time. Maybe talk to you're parents about it. Think how selfish that would be if you killed yourself, and left your family wondering why? Over a girlfriend you can't control or change??? I can assure you dude it's not worth it. Girls that are like that need to be treated the same way, stop talking to her and when you get a new girlfriend I guarantee you she will try and get right back in the picture you watch.

Answer 6

First of all, the feeling of killing yourself is not uncommon when a loved one leaves you but I'm glad that you didn't get the urge to actually do it! Obviously she is the one with the problem or problems. You really should not be with someone like her who likes to abuse drugs. It will probably continue if you stay with her and then you are going to be miserable dealing with her drug problem or drug abuse and her messed up family. You are not doing anything wrong. Don't blame yourself and try to figure out why she is acting this way because it will be a waist of time. You need to concentrate on yourself and try to find a girl that doesn't have these issues. Good luck!

Answer 7

Coming from an abusive household back in the 60's, which was a very turbulent time to begin with. I can tell you abuse breed addiction. Today i no longer suffer my addiction problems of long ago, but the mental scars remain as strong as if it were an hour ago.
You care for her, but in caring we have to know not only when to do something for someone, but when to not do anything. I mean, the world is a big place, and filled with a lot of people, and each has their problems. As an individual you cannot save the world, ultimately is the reality.
There is a place, any addict will learn about, it is called " Rock Bottom." In this place we come to a realization of all being lost, we stand no reason to survive any further, we have nothing left to live for or to loose. We see ourself as to what we have become, and reflect back on the long road to getting to this point. We have truly reach " Rock Bottom." we can go no further downward so now and only now will recovery truly work, and now it is us ourself that will make the choice to live or to die. If we choose to live we will seek out the help.
If your girlfriend is into the pill thing, there are no words you can speak that will cause her to change, in most cases. She has to want this of herself, and sadly enough, often they will not seek this until reaching Rock Bottom. You can try and try, but you cannot save the world and ultimately you need to live your life and walk away at some point. You have to know enough of when to let her be, that she has her demons to deal with, and until she deals with them no one can help her, or truly love her. You can be a friend, and try to convince her into rehab, but it probably won't work until she reaches her rock bottom, and we each have a different standard for that. How much will she loose before wanting it to stop ..no one knows. But she must reach her bottom before she can travel up, and seek a perm. help.
Abuse is horrible, I know this first hand, but the addiction is that offshoot of abuse that leaves us in the position where we have to deal with it, we can't do something because others want us to, we have to do it because we truly want to- only when all is lost will we reach that true point.

Answer 8

Let her go you are not qualified to help her she needs a professional .You should get busy doing some thing fun and get out and meet new people that girl is not healthy and if you try to get her back it will only drag you down. Good luck .You will meet the right person in time .So until then stop looking and things may go your way .Some times when we want something to much we try to hard and scare people away . so get out there have fun .Killing yourself is not an option. You have some awsome times in your future believe me .

Answer 9

In this situation I would do exactly what battered women do. And don't you dare be ashamed about it. 1st you have to be ready to move, because she might kill you one day in a fit of rage. 2nd call the police and file a report on her. Think about it if you were hitting her she would have all of her brothers and uncles and all of the men in her life trying to beat you up and kill you, but you can just sit here and let her hit you? Heck Naw. Find a job before you report her, don't depend on her for anything and make sure you don't have to. The same day you file it you should be looking for a place to move or be moving the same day. And her beating up your sister, she can press charges against her. Assault is a misdemeanor, but it's still a crime. Man up and Call the cops, because if you hit her back 1 you are not better than her and 2 you know she would do no less for you :-)

Answer 10

Okay, sounds like you need to speak with someone about this - like a train counsellor or a doctor.
First of all, it sounds she has problems that's pretty serious, n it doesn't sound like something you can fix. So try to get her to seek professional help. But please keep in mind, that you can't help someone if they don't want to be helped.
Sound like you really care about this girl, n I am sure deep down, she knows she's luck to have that. But don't let this or any other past failed relationship pull you into depression. I know you might feel frustrated n scared, but please realised this - to be in a healthy relationship. you must take good care of yourself; give your self the love n attention you need, then try to help others. The right girl will come along when you accept your own needs n realise the value of your love.
Take care, sweetie:)

Answer 11

first you are finding needy people because you are needy as well. I think your belief is if I can help them they will in turn help me. NOT SO, you need to help your self, you are the only one who can change your self, which also explain es why you fail with your girlfriends, they will not change until they do it them selves. so Clean up your own needs, I am not saying discard them just find out what it truly is what you need, and if you believe some one or some thing can provide that answer you are on the wrong path, and so start over, it is hard work but you are worth it so please look after your self first, best of luck