Does the character of a man actually matter to a woman?

Question

I'm looking for serious answers here. Nothing along the lines of "duh" or "of course".

I'm just wondering, because I haven't been able to find a woman who thinks that it's important for a man to live his life with integrity. Most women that I know think that it's great when a man is unfaithful, lazy, bullying, and dishonest in general. They view him as being a "bad boy" who has "edge" and is a "challenge".

On the other hand, a man who is confident, mentally and physically healthy, a community leader, intelligent, romantic, honest, and would be a devoted husband and father, is seen as "boring" and "too nice".

Why is this? Do these women have low self-esteem and think that they don't deserve better . . . or, do men of integrity have to start being losers in order for women to appreciate them?

Answer 1

It's a maturity issue. "Women" are interested in all the qualities that you mention--integrity, honesty and fidelity. "Girls" haven't quite gotten there yet. Thus, "women" are interested in "men" (like yourself) and "girls" are interested in "boys". It sounds like you are coming in contact with more girls than women. Cast your net farther. :D

Answer 2

Darn good question!!!! I have found the same thing too. I think it is they want someone that others envy and want the "life of the party" They want to show off to thier freinds That they can get the "mr popular" and throw aside the values that they seek!!! Thus the high divorce rate, after a while they relize that they cannot change him into the person with true values!! And after when they belive the party should end ,it becomes a war which ends up bitter. I lived in a basement apt where landlord was a "party animal" got several women with his bs charm, and saw it deminish! they meet him drinking and after a while together try to get him to stop what they found fun in the start.
P.S. if you find out why this happens let me know. as well mabe write a book may have a best seller. best question is why do women go for mr wrong when they have been there b4?? Think we need a woman to tell us but they wont.

Answer 3

I have had the "bad boy" affliction in the past. Through experience I have found that I chose "Challenging" men becuase I was mildly depressed and needed the adrenalin rush to feel alive. I am now with a man who is very stable, kind, no drama. I am content. Some women feel you have to suffer the very lows of poor behavior in order to get the highs that come along with it. I now prefer a more level existence. Maybe the women you are meeting are too young to know this yet.

Answer 4

A lot of younger women tend not to know (not saying ALL do mind you) what they want in their life but being that they aren't all that serious about anything, they look for that "bad boy". It may be the edge and challenge of "trying to set him straight" that they are looking after.

However, once a woman matures, they really do want someone who is nice, confident, healthy, employed and can provide security.

NEVER drop who you are as a person. If a woman can't accept who you are, it's their loss.

Answer 5

That's the best question I have seen on here in quite awhile now.Great job.
I'm not sure what woman are looking for anymore.It does seem that when I go out with a lady we can have a great time but if I like her enough to go out the second time its as though she isn't as interested.On other occasions I take someone out and I don't feel like we click well enough for a second date its as though she can't do enough to get me to ask her out again.Sometimes I think I could actually be a sleaze bag and these woman would still say yes.I don't get the logic of a woman anymore.

Answer 6

Integrity and character is what lasts. Of course being attractive plays a part BUT when I knew my husband was the man that I wanted to marry it was because I knew he had integrity and character, and that is the only thing that will sustain a marriage or any relationship.

Answer 7

Well I've been in plenty of bad relationships and i am stil waiting to find a guy that has integrity and is kind one that dosnt put you down at every turn so iwould say that the character of a man reallydoes matter, so hold on because you'll find that girll one day that dosnt want the lossers any more

Answer 8

Wow. Well what a question. I have dated both. The bad boys are fun for a little while but not for anything serious or long term. Truthfully though i am tired and bored of them. I wonder when my prince charming will come. One with integrity and good morals as their foundation. I long for a good man to sweep me off of my feet and wonder if there are any left. I would presume that there are many of us woman out there, but good men like you sit around and wonder where we are and how to find them..so we all sit around wandering.
Check out this good woman. www.myspace.com/soniaray

Answer 9

i am 28 female and NO its not you. Those women have low self esteem, they dont even want to find a nice guy like you because they dont feel like they deserve it. and sure some women like bad boys but in my opinion they are the dumbest in the world. i think most ladies want a nice guy, nice doesnt necessarily mean boring, unless men dont have a sense of humor. i only go by someone's personality or sense of humor, who cares how they look or if they 're hot or not. its not about that, it really is about inside cause if you like someone's inside, the outside grows.

you are just picking the wrong one's - dont look for girls in bars or clubes (if you do)

Answer 10

i'm a form of uncommon women human beings then. i choose a guy who has integrity, cares, loves, and has understand for others. he won't stay around long if i hit upon out he's lazy. i don't choose somebody who i opt to alter. i choose somebody who does not would desire to alter. a guy who's unquestionably a guy and not a take a seat-at-abode, drink beer, waste money, disrespectful, cussing fool. A temper, cussing, combating (for undesirable motives), cheating (in any form or style), and virtually any undesirable habit could get a guy knocked from my checklist. That guy defined on your 2d paragraph "on the different hand, a guy who's confident, mentally and bodily healthful, an area chief, smart, romantic, truthful, and dedicated to his spouse and young infants, is seen as "uninteresting" and "too effective". " is strictly what i'm searching for. they're uncommon the place I stay and that i await assembly a guy like that.

Answer 11

the women who love the bad boys are confused about what love is and is not. the confuse abuse with strenght. they are confuse on what they want and what they deserve. most of them really don't want a committed relationship so they are attracted to one that is doomed from the beginning to fail
sooner or later they grow up and look for the man that is decent, kind and loving. hang in there