my brother is not ok with this and not talking to her
how do you mend the fences with them
2006-12-30 13:46:19 · 61 answers · asked by maddcc 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You cannot fix this one. Your brother has to realize this is her life and it is more important that she is healthy and happy then it is for him to be ashamed or hateful. I hope he comes around before he loses her forever. Give your niece as much support as you can and be brought of her for having the courage to tell you and stand up for her choices. Who cares if she is with a male or a female as long as she is happy. Best of luck
2006-12-30 14:24:07 · answer #1 · answered by cheoli 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I came out to my parents I went through the same thing and it was very hurtful. I have known of my sexual orientation from first grade. I think it is possiable to know from an early age and I also think its possiable that it can chance on a bad experience at any age. As far as mending the fences with them. I know when my Parents and I started talking there biggest concerns were fearing for my safety with a hate crime and being succesful in life. after letting me know this I was able to show them that People that perfrom hate crimes are ignorant and no matter who we are there is some group of people that "hates" who you are. I also showed them some successful gay people. I would be willing to talk more to you or your niece if she needs support. I wish I had more support when I was going throught this. I would also warn your brother that there is a high rate of suicide with gay youth when there family isnt there for them. Ask him if this is worth losing her without ever being able to mend the fences
2006-12-30 13:54:26 · answer #2 · answered by postalemployed 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is very difficult to mend these kind of fences. You're brother is simply uncomfortable with the idea that your niece is a lesbian eventually he'll come to accept it. Time heals all wounds.
2006-12-30 13:50:51 · answer #3 · answered by Cyborg Farmer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to avoid that particular subject for a while until the waters settle. I think its good that she came out but as you suggest now is the time to mend fences. Let them both know that they are human beings and family fist and foremost. Concentrate on similarities and reasons to respect each other until the comes to discuss the core issues in a more sensitive way.
2006-12-30 13:50:31 · answer #4 · answered by megalomaniac 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I love that you are being supportive of him...but the reality of it is that this is not a good idea. Even if they did meet and get like eachother in person, they still live a while away. If your son was straight, would you let him bring a girl over from Perth? Explain to your son that this isn't about being bisexual. It's about how internet dating is unsafe. Tell him that if he finds a relationship closer to home, you will be more than willing to meet the guy/girl and take it from there. Good luck!
2016-03-29 01:28:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time is the only thing that will help. He can choose to lose the love of his daughter and it will drag him to an early grave. She will have months if not years of this bullshit to look forward to, but one day things will get better. A lot better. If not, your brother will be the one who ends up losing everything. She's a brave girl for dealing with this at 16. I did too, and have a MUCH better relationship with my Mom and Dad. They send Christmas cards addressed to both me and my partner, and always tell me to give their love to him when we talk on the phone. You can help by telling your brother that life is too short and he is behaving like a jackass...That is if he still is being a jerk in a month or two. Let him have his time to mull this over. Its a two way street.
2006-12-30 13:52:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
time will mend if they truly love one another, and im sure they do.theres not much you can do except be there to listen to each one of them when they need to talk. i have an aunt who "came out of the closet" at age 45. it was very chaotic and shocking to everyone at first but now most everyone is cool with it except for those who always judge evryone--but theyve always been like this about everything, not just the lesbian issue. this was 6 years ago and all i good now. we still love her and shes never been considered NOT a part of the family.
2006-12-30 13:51:36 · answer #7 · answered by mickey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is something that he is going to have to come to terms with on his own time. Its only going to end up hurting him in the long run to cut ties with his daughter. It might be a phase she is going through experimenting.
Just let him know that right now the thing she needs the most is support. He is more than likely hurting right now and this is his way of dealing. Just let him know you are there to talk if he needs to. Also do the same for her.
2006-12-30 13:49:17 · answer #8 · answered by allamericandoll 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't mend anything..They are the ones that are carring around the issues if he can't/won't except what she says she is then it's both of there loss.It's hard to get an adult somtimes to understand that a teen is rebellious and they will do everything they can to minipulate things.Your brother is going to have to just deal with it or else loose his neice.
2006-12-30 13:50:24 · answer #9 · answered by gblue52 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To hear this is probably very shocking for your brother. Give it a week or two and then try to explain that some people aren't attracted to the opposite sex.....it's common knowledge. No matter what, make sure you do the right thing and stay friends with her. If your brother can't love her for what she is, then he has problems.
2006-12-30 13:49:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋