How to discipline a 1 1/2 year old?

Question

Does anyone have any good advice to discipline my 1 1/2 year old daughter? We tell her no all the time and we make sure we're down at her height when we tell her but she goes back as soon as were done... So then we started telling her why she can't. I had some advice given that she should get a time out and she should stay with her until she understands she has to stay in that spot but all we get it kicking, hitting, and screaming. Sometimes when we let her go to play again she just throws herself on the ground and hits her head on the ground. I just need some other advice that maybe someone can give to see if that will help in our situation better.

Answer 1

sit her on the couch,speak nicly to her and keep telling that what she's done is bad.sit next to her.if she screams let her,if she kicks let her.let her have her 'hissy-fit'.and when she does this don't get upset with her cause that can confuse her.how you say,you're tryin to tell her not to do one thing but telling her to stop kicking at the same time can counfuse her.when she claims down(they can only keep it up for so long)again tell her that's it bad.and also,even when she is being good and while your playing with her tell her about this that are bad or remind her of the things that she has already done.when she listens give her a treat after dinner and when she's bad don't give her the cookie.or,make a reward chart(with stickers)teach her that when she is good she'll get a sticker and when she is bad take a sticker away(let her see you do this).good luck.

Answer 2

First thing you need to understand: KIDS THAT AGE DO NOT UNDERSTAND EXPLANATION...much less reason! According to the famed psychologist, Piaget, the majority of kids don't get the ability to reason until around AGE 15!

So, all you can do is a) keep the child safe (childproof and remove her from dangerous things) b) DISTRACT her from negative behavior with stuff she likes and c) BE PATIENT!

Anything more than that at such a young age will ONLY cause grief for all of you, esp. HER!

Here's a story for you: When I was about 2, I got into my mom's purse and emptied it, then drew all over the wall, bureau & mirror w/her lipstick! She went into the pediatrician soon after, wailing about what a "problem child" I was and related the incident.

The doctor merely asked, calmly, "WHY did you leave the purse where the child could get it?" DOIIIIEEE!

It's been...a LONG time since then...and parents still don't get that! I hope for your sake, you DO get it...because nothing on Earth will EVER make an 18-month old kid "understand" rules, explanations or reason!

Good luck and remember...it DOES pass! (Wait 'til she starts the whining phase! I'd take a good tantrum ANY day!). :P

P.S: Anyone who says hitting is okay is TOTALLY out of touch and perhaps even sadistic! It may "work" (stop the behavior) but the negative consequences are irreparable! HITTING HURTS! It is not "okay" and might (depending on which state you live in) be CRIMINAL!

Answer 3

First of all "Welcome to the terrible twos" they can begin as young as a year old and last....through puberty. Secondly, just telling her no and "explaining" why isn't going to work. She doesn't understand what "No" is and you explaining is even MORE confusing. She is a toddler, not a tiny adult. Her mind doesn't work like an adults, she hasn't had the years of living and expierence. Sometimes letting them get into something they shouldn't get into (with supervision) is a good way to teach them what "no" is. When my daughter was small my mother had a freestanding wood stove and no matter how many times I told her "no, hot" she would attempt to touch it. Finally one day I was standing next to her and she reached out, I let her touch it, she did with a finger, and as soon as she felt she pulled her hand back, I said "hot" ran the finger under water and got the aloe. After that I didn't have to say a word about the stove. Time outs are great, but one has to be consistent, keep doing them over and over and over because she's not going to just sit in time out willingly. Tantrums are normal...ignore them, because the reason she throws them is for attetnion. My daughter tried every trick in the book from throwing herself on the ground to banging her head on the floor and walls, to biting herself until she bruised and holding her breath. None of it worked and eventually she gave up.

Answer 4

I can relate, as I am dealing with trying to discipline my 18 month old. Someone posted an answer that they got from Super Nanny. My pediatrician recommends her methods and her books. Very loving, but stern. I am not an advocate for any type of physical punishment. We are trying the "get down to her level" and the time outs. I think the time outs are working because it is the only thing that actually gets a reaction from her other than laughing and repeating the same behavior. Good luck!

Answer 5

You should really stick to "time out" or "naughty spot". Try to have it be the same place everytime. Of course you will have to improvise when you aren't home. She has to stay one minute for every year of her age. So a minute and a half. And everytime she gets up you start over. she can scream,yell,kick whatever but she needs to stay there.
Also, if what she is doing isn't that big of a deal; redirecting works great. Take her away from whatever negative thing she is doing and get her involved in a positive activity. And when she id behaving well, acknowledge that. It will reinforce her good behavior.
Good luck - it will get better.

Answer 6

I have a 13 month old and we are going through the same thing we are at wits end we have tried all of our friends advice we have done the time out ,the tapping the fingers and the tapping the side of the leg he is too young for it so it does not work it just makes me feel like a horrible mom i tell him no and take him away from the situation and I figure someday he will understand as long as i stick to it and never change the rules like telling him no one moment and letting him do something another time they will eventually understand and if not we are in for alot of headaches

Answer 7

As a mother of a 31yr old and a 14yr old, I can sympathize with you. First of all I learned from various other mothers and child psychologist that saying "no" constantly will only frustrate them as well as teach them to say no back to you. When you want to get him/her to stop something you should distract them and get them to focus their attention on something else, this age is also the touchy feely age, and they identify things by putting in the mouth...I simply removed certain things from my babies reach until they got older. I didn't start time out until they were at least 3yrs old, they have such a short attention span that I don't feel they could sit in time out anyway. Temper tantrums are to be totally ignored, if they do the famous falling out in the floor kicking and screaming step over him/her and ignore it until they exhaust themselves....and once your child realizes that he/she is not going to get any attention with this behaviour it will become short lived. If I were you I would get some books at the book store on the subject of toddlers and join a free parenting group through a church or La Leache League or something like that.....Just try not to let it get to you and remember that you and I and the rest of the world acted the same way as toddlers....its their way of displaying whats called automomy...a sense of independence. Try not to use the word "Bad" it is just a label that he/she will live up to one day. I spanked the first one but tried a different approach with the second child which I think worked much better, which is some of what I shared with you here.
Hope I helped ....Good Luck

Answer 8

Getting down to her height is a good thing to do. Make sure you both are looking at eachother eye to eye. Make sure you don't yell or scream. Talk firm and tough. Yelling isn't needed. After doing this and explaining to her what she's done, take her to a time out chair. And if she comes off don't say anything and just pick her up and set her back (you may need to do this a lot)

Answer 9

I think you should remove your daughter from what you don't want her to do and find something else for her to do that you approve of and do it with her. I don't know why but it seems to always help me when I get down in the floor and play with my two girls (ages 3&4). Maybe child proof your home a little more or put certain things up higher so she can't get to them. I think at her age there are still things that she cannot completely understand.

Answer 10

First of all, stop saying no. Just stop. Find ways to express your rules without Nos. Stop having so many rules. Time out is passe, not considered good at all. Even when it was considered good, one minute in time out would be the limit for her age.

You need to hold her when she's frustrated. You teach her how to express her feelings, by guessing what she's feeling and putting it into words for her. Oh, you're angry...

Hold her and soothe her and tell her you will help her calm down and hold her until she does.

But first, make sure you aren't causing this situation with all your NOs. You should redirect her attention, have her in a totally baby-friendly environment, or express rules in positive ways - we tear craft paper, not books. books are for reading, not tearing.

the way you are going now is frankly setting you up for total disaster. you need to read "How To Talk So Kids Will Listen" so you can get a clue on how to reach kids and not anger them and shut them down.

if you tell her no all the time at this stage, you will destroy her initiative. that doesn't mean you let her do whatever she wants, it means you are supposed to be creating an environment where she is free to be a kid and not getting the "NO" all the time.

Also, read Dr. Sears on discipline.

Really, no wonder your child is frustrated out of her mind if you are saying no all the time.

She can't understand anything in time out or anywhere else - that's an utterly ridiculous idea and you probably shouldn't listen to anything this person suggests parenting-wise. You see the results you get.

Also, read the great articles at http://www.naturalchild.org. Learn how to view things from a kid's point of view.

Is your child in day care? Early use of day care is strongly correlated with parents detaching from their child, so not understanding them and just wanting to control them, and is strongly correlated with the child have attachment problems to mom. When a child has attachment problems, they aren't as motivated to go along with the program as a child who is breastfed on demand, held on demand, never left to cry, and who doesn't suffer the AGONY of separation from mommy - which babies evolved to experience as extreme danger and misery.

You can produce the same problems however, even with out day care, if you are so tuned out of your child's reality that you keep using the methods you are trying now.

Good luck getting in touch with your daughter and trying techniques that actually respect her development, her needs, and her personality!