my daughter (16) has been going out with this guy (15) for about a year now, and both of his parents are not in his life. the only relative that is, is his brother (19). this kid is an exceptional person. he is on the honor roll, rides his bike or walks to work which is 5 miles away, he treats my daughter like a princess. his older brother on the other hand is not as good. he drinks, smokes pot and cigs., and god knows what else. my husband and i both care about him and worry about him. we try to do what we can but we are just not financially stable enough. my daughter just told me that their rent has not been paid for in 3 months and the house they live in is going into foreclosure. my daughter is afraid the state will take him, and i'm afraid because of his brothers unstable behavior. he gets a social security check for $350. a month and gives it to his brother to pay the rent. but, obviously that money has gone elsewhere. so what should i do? i can't help him financially.
2006-12-30 13:30:13 · 13 answers · asked by lidakamo 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i would like to take him in but my house is very small, and we have 2 daughters. so even if he did come to stay here there would be no place but the couch, and that's not including all of his personal belongings. plus, i don't think his brother would go for it, and since he has custody of him i would have no legal rights.
2006-12-30 13:41:01 · update #1
as far as him giving the money to his brother, he has to because he's not 18. this is a done deal though because the house is going into foreclosure. so that means the homeowner was not paying the bank.
2006-12-30 13:45:34 · update #2
He's lucky that you are so caring. Your daughter is lucky to have someone who treats her so wonderfully. Now, it's his turn. Do you have a spare room or a friend who wouldn't mind letting him live with them? After all, he does get the $350 a month that can be used to help with his personal expenses and he can do odd jobs (chores) around the house to earn his keep. I know that having him in your house may be a little strange, but maybe if it were on the short term all would be okay.
Gosh, I wish I had a better answer for you and I pray that all goes well.
2006-12-30 13:38:19 · answer #1 · answered by CyndiDrum 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to people and friends. Most people would do all they can to help the young man. He gets money once a month and he could pay someone 100 a month for room and board. I lived with a family when I was 17 and I paid them a 100 a month for rent and 50 a month for food.
Where there is a will there is a way. This young man needs a break and some help. So help him find someone to help him.
2006-12-30 13:45:40 · answer #2 · answered by liles21090 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is not really anything you can do short of having him move in with you. I really don't recommend that. The close proximaty of your daughter and him will lead to premature sexual contact. Your concern is your daughter not him. You can't change his life situation. Maybe you could help him find a room for rent somewhere. There are many available for 300 dollars a month.
2006-12-30 13:43:07 · answer #3 · answered by krzylove 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Would it be an option to allow your daughter and her boyfriend to live with u and give u some of that 350 dollars towards food and other bills to help you pay them? Kind of like rent but id try not to take al of it from him.
2006-12-30 13:35:40 · answer #4 · answered by lil_e_is_my_racer 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though he is acting as the mature adult his brother should be. Be there for him, as I'm sure you already are.
You could possibly try to see about helping him get emancipated, especially if he is doing well with work/school/life. He is obviously not going to fare well if his brother is in charge of him (though he sounds like he is doing very well!).
2006-12-31 02:00:44 · answer #5 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that being with his brother is not a good place for him i think that you should take action and take him into your house even if it means him sleeping on the couch. fromt he sounds of it anywhere is better than at his house. so im sure he wouldnt mind staying ont he couch. he needs your help and i think you should do it not just for him for your daughter too.
2006-12-30 13:55:40 · answer #6 · answered by iloveDEREKJETER! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you can bring him in to your home till he is old enough to get is own place to live if you care for him so much then that is want you should do see I am in the same thing all most
2006-12-30 13:36:48 · answer #7 · answered by coulson 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Suggest to him that he send the rent money to the landlord instead of giving it to his brother. He's on the right track to making something of himself but needs guidance.
2006-12-30 13:33:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
You need to report this whole sad scenario to child protection services. This boy is obviously not being looked after properly, and it is for the proper authorities to fix.
2006-12-30 13:57:05 · answer #9 · answered by Liz 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him know that you are there for him. Tell him that if he needs anything that you will try your best to help him. Also see what you can do about the money that is going somewhere else...
2006-12-30 13:33:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋