Was I in the Wrong??

Question

In the following situation, was I wrong?? Should my b/f be mad??
(see add'l details for sit.)

I was at a guy friends house. We were hanging out and watching tv. We both fell asleep practically in eachother's arms. My friend(not the guy, but his sis) told my b/f and he is mad. It was purly innocent. Was I wrong?? What can I do to make it better?? I am not going to play kiss ***, and do tons of stuff for him.
I just walked up to him after he found out,put my arms around his neck, kissed him whispered in his ear that it was purely nothing, and walked away. Was that enough?? Should I call him??
My friend also said that if my guy friend could pick anyone he could sleep with, It would be me. Did that not help even though it wasn't true?? Did a simple thing just ruin my relationship??
The guy was my friend. In fact he is in my b/f's circle of friends too. He says nothing happened as well.
Why am I the one on his **** list??

I don't see anything wrong with it. What is so wrong??

Answer 1

You say you don't see anything wrong so its okay if your boyfriend falls asleep in the arms of some fine girl that happens to be your best friend. Well, because you keep proclaiming you didn't do anything wrong, be prepared to to eat your words when he does it. I'm just saying since you think there was nothing wrong then put yourself in his shoes. You put yourself in a bad situation where you were very fortunate that nothing happened. You sound very young, I would say teen yrs. In these yrs. you and this guy have very little control over sexual situations. Think about it grown men cant handle whats going on between there legs what makes you think you can!

Answer 2

Imagine the same scenario, with the boot on the other foot.
Your boyfriend went to a friend's house, watched some TV, fell asleep in the arms of a girl there.
Would him walking up to you the next day, kissing you and whispering in your ear that nothing happened satisfy you?

Answer 3

As other answerers have already said: this is about trust and your boyfriend's fears. In some ways it's about your and your boyfriend's expectations, as well.

I, personally, do not think that you've done anything wrong. My expectation of a partner is that they'll have friends of the opposite sex, and that sometimes they'll get cuddly -- because that's what good friends sometimes do[0]. How would your boyfriend have reacted if you fell asleep with a female friend of yours?

And how would you feel if your boyfriend fell asleep with a female friend of his? If you'd be angry, try to understand that that's what he's probably feeling about you now. Even if you didn't do anything wrong, his fears are boiling to the surface and making him feel jealousy and distrust.

It seems like he probably expected you to *not* fall asleep with a male friend, and so even if you haven't actually done anything to break his trust (how did you know that your boyfriend expected something if he didn't tell you?), the difference between his expectation and reality are making him feel as if you've broken his trust.

I agree with the other answerers that all you can really do at this point is discuss it with your boyfriend, explain what happened and that your relationship isn't threatened by this. Whatever you do, though, don't let him convince you that you did something inherently wrong!

That being said -- if your boyfriend says that you shouldn't fall asleep with other guys, and you accept that limitation, and then fall asleep with a male friend again: in that case, you would be doing something wrong.

And some extra bonus advice that you didn't ask for: I think that the person who was most in the wrong in this situation is the person who told your boyfriend. It very much seems like the only purpose in her spreading the gossip was to damage you; she should have come to you or your male friend to discuss it first.

[0] Social norms in western culture prohibit this behavior between two male friends, but it's prevalent in other cultures, and in our culture between opposite-sexed friends and female-female friendships.

Answer 4

you don't see anything wrong about it you say. Try to take yourself out of the situation and imagine if this was your boyfriend sleeping in the arms of one of your girlfriends and then he says but look honey nothing happened. Of course you'd be pissed.

In future act like a lady and show respect for your boyfriend and don't be sleeping with male friends even if your not doing the deed. just sleeping with him or cuddling is wrong enough. if you get tired next time excuse yourself so you don't end up in that kind of situation again.

Answer 5

Yes you were wrong and you should kiss his rear, if he was with a
girl / friend. You would be so angry and you know it to be true.
Just imagine him with a girl and you will feel what he felt and then you might want to consider kissing rear since it was his rear that was burned not yours. If you like him take the time because if you don't', remember what i am telling you, he will do it to you with out concern to you,but if you take the time to make sure to reassure him then he might forgive you, I mean really forgive you. You won't like it when it is done to you and remember it will be done if you don't' make this wrong go right.

Answer 6

No matter how innocent it was .. it is never a good idea to be found laying down asleep in any other arms than your boyfriends. That's just the way it is. Good Luck! :)

Answer 7

If nothing was wrong that is the end of the story. Let those involved know and get on with your life. You can only do wrong if you think something is wrong to begin with.

Answer 8

Nothing happened. You have nothing to apologize for. Your boyfriend either trusts you or he doesn't. He has no right to be mad at you. You have earned and deserve his trust, don't you think?

Answer 9

this is a mater of trust, and obviously your boy friend doesn't trust you or his friend, so he either accepts what you said or he doesn't. and you have no control over his actions or reasoning, what ever happens, there are lessons to be learnd about this whole scenario

Answer 10

i think that if he is that insecure about your relationship then there never was a relationship.
he needs to trust you and see that if you wanted that guy you would have picked him long before you started dating.
good luck.