my ex was a jerk and all that and we broke up and now we are back together but he asked my best friend to give him a ******** and he asked my sis out but he said it was just a joke and he said he would change for me and he has a lot but i don't know if it will stick i hope it dose i love him wit all my heart and he says the same about me but i don't know wat should i do? what would u do?
2006-12-30 13:14:59 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
People change all the time.
2006-12-30 13:16:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have been told that people do not change and their true self will eventually be revealed. Just as a tiger can not change his stripes for spots.
BUT ... I used to be a very bad person. I will not go into all details but I used to drink to excess, lie, cheat, steal, and cuss all the time.
NOW ... I haven't had a drink in 5 years, I never tell a lie (even when the truth really hurts), I haven't cheated in 5 years, I not only haven't stolen anything in 5 years but I traveled 5 hours one way to return an item I stole 5 years ago, and although I do still let the occasional cuss word slip out it's nothing like I used to do.
People can and do change. It takes dedication and hard work sometimes but it is possible. the true question is do you believe he has changed? If yes then give him a chance to prove it. If no then don't waste another minute of your life with him.
No matter what I say or anyone else for that matter, it is YOU who must live with your decision to either trust him or dump him.
2006-12-30 21:24:42 · answer #2 · answered by Average Joe 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First impression I get from you is that you are frustrated with him. From an outsiders point of view, the easiest solution is to break up and leave him.
This begs to question whether you are unable to break up because you are attached to him and break ups are so hard to do or you really do love him and want to stay with him even with these bad qualities.
You never stated what you want to do or what exactly was the reason for the initial break up. What aspects has he changed and what are you trying to do to improve your relationship?
My assumption is that he's a player and that you want him to stop flirting with your friends. Unless that was the wrong impression you wanted me to get from ******** you posted above.
Trust is a something that is earned. If there is no trust, then the longer you stay with this relationship, the more painful and hurtful it will be.
Can he change? You never stated what exactly he needs to do? Does he have motivation? Obviously from teh examples, he hasn't changed... or did you actually find him in bed with another person.
He doesnt' seem to be taking your request seriously if that is what needs to be corrected.
Yes people can change. The objective is to change in the same direction as your significant other. We all change, that is the beauty of experience. But when and how he changes and in one aspects is anyones guess.
Best wishes on your rollercoaster ride of love. :^P
Disclaimer: This is an opinion of a stranger. Please do not utilize it with anything more than a grain of salt. I will not be held liable for any actions that may have been caused by its' thought provoking power. :^P
Happy 2007!!
2006-12-30 21:25:24 · answer #3 · answered by tiszat 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Anybody can change if they want 2.I was having alot of problems myself and i kept getting locked up.I changed alot when i got out for the fourth time i did not want 2 get in anymore trouble.I have been alot better for almost a year now.Now about your boyfreind.There is not much 2 say about this situation because u are the only one that knows what u should do.All i can tell u is listen 2 ur heart and it will tell u what 2 do.Not ur brain but ur heart.
2006-12-30 21:23:04 · answer #4 · answered by edh1414 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
honestly? If he was a jerk to me the first time there would not be a second time. second of all if he wanted me back he would have to prove it to me. if he asked my best friend for ******** then i would dump him. it means that he is willing to cheat. and he would have if your friend would have been okay with it. If he loves you like he says he does then he wouldn't have asked. And no real guy would ask out your sister. even if it is just a joke. i know my guy would never do that. I say dump him. You might love him like no other, but obviously he doesn't feel the same way. it might hurt to lose him , but in the end you'll feel better about yourself for getting rid of someone that is holding you back
2006-12-30 21:20:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
People can change, of course. Trust me, you CAN'T change people. I don't care if he was joking or not, this guy sounds like a jerk. (you can love jerks - I KNOW BECAUSE I HAVE!) I think you should kick him to the curb. There is somebody out there who is better.
I beg to differ on the person who said to listen to your heart rather than your brain - WRONG! Listen to your brain, not your heart. I have learned the HARD way. My heart lied and lied to me...
2006-12-30 21:28:50 · answer #6 · answered by sandy25527 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honestly, you are with him for reasons that nobody else knows about. I know what its like to have a man that likes women, but its normal for men to be attracted to women (any woman). As much as it hurts, any man you are with will like other women (thats why he is not gay and likes you). Has he crossed the line? Has he actually got some? He might me imature and maybe with time he will change, but you have to love your man the way he is because its hard for people to change. He might really love you. But he might really like other people. At least you know about it. If you cant accept that then leave him. Im sure you've felt the same way about other men. You just havent been upfront about it.
2006-12-30 21:20:25 · answer #7 · answered by karenmariawayne 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think people can change some aspects of their life, say intelligence or maybe behavioral things, but I don't believe people ever really change their core character. Once a heel, always a heel. This guy needs to go, he cannot help but to be who he really is. It might not get bad right away, but it will.
2006-12-30 21:19:03 · answer #8 · answered by daddius42 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
honestly take it from an experienced girl from me anyone can change but not everyone does now that guy sounds like a jerk and i dont think hes the kind of guy that would change so i guess thats yo choice girl i will see you on the flip flop laterrrrrrrr LOL JK JK
2006-12-30 21:18:25 · answer #9 · answered by hot_babygirl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, they can change if they really want to, but it sounds like your ex-jerk is still a jerk and doesn't know what he really wants. Give him a little more time and if he doesn't change. dump him.
2006-12-30 21:21:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋