i am with my boyfriend for two years. were getting on great lately but ive had to go home for christmas and as he is workin new years eve he cant come up to me for new years eve like he has the past two years, which i was fine with until after a conversation about how one of my friends and her BF were going abroad for NYE. Straight away he was like "God i would HATE that! imagine spending new years just us." he wants to have all his friends around him. apparently its a time to get drunk and party with friends not a romantic day at all. SO why is there a kiss at midnight as one of the traditions... should i read something into this? what should i say to him. Im going out with all my friends aswell, im not stayin in or anything but i would love the idea of going away with him. are we too incompatible?
2006-12-30 12:42:40 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
lol! ok well to set a couple of points straight i AM going to have fun without him with my friends tomorrow night. i have no problem with him spending time with his friends THIS new years eve. he doesnt get to see them often as hes at college. BUT my problem is that he would never want to spend it with just me abroad and i would love it so much. i thought that once we finished college we could do that sort of thing i didnt realise we had such different views about it. he thinks he should be at a big party with people he knows. i think it would be brilliant to be in italy or somewhere at a big fiesta or something...im gonna talk with him, ill let you know.
2006-12-30 13:19:57 · update #1
There's nothing wrong with wanting to be with his friends at all because New Years isn't exactly what I would call a romantic day. It's not necessarily incompatibility but it may be a hint that you are being to clingy to him. I've been in the same situation alot with my current g/f and know how it feels and for you to get mad at him will probably just drive him away more. Just let him know that you would want to be with him otherwise and leave it at that - see what his reaction is. Don't look that deep things are just fine... he just wants to be with the boys for a night.
2006-12-30 12:51:45 · answer #1 · answered by masse_master1987 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
word to the wise: never demand that your significant other chose between you and their friends. you'll lose.
Think about it - you are looking for trouble. You are debating whether or not to get upset at someone because of what he thinks his reaction would be to a situation you're not even in. He didn't say the idea of going away with you repulsed him. Are you not one of those friends that are so important to be with? C'mon what is your real problem with him? do you feel hurt by his other relationships? do you not have many others of your own? are you jealous of his friends or of him for having friends? Or perhaps it has just hit you that the two of you lack common priorities/goals?
As for compatability: even had he said the idea of going away together repulsed him; only you can decide if that's a deal breaker for you.
Remember though that New Year's is a time for big parties and reunions, and there's something to be appreciated about a guy who gets nostalgic over friends and family at the holidays.
2006-12-30 21:08:39 · answer #2 · answered by SHT 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not to be. if you have been together 4 2 years, and he pulls this crap, trust me, he has someone else and is making it seem like it is your fault for his depression. if he is working NYE why is he partying with friends? (eye opener) and a kiss at midnight is to show off. it doesnt sound romantic. if he said to you, i only want to kiss YOU on NYE even if i have to run from work on a break, i would do it because i love you. go out with your friends and start a "new year" for you. hope you get to kick him in the shins so many times he cant walk. what a creep. you sound so sweet. i'll pray for you. write me anytime. i care. and kick hard. mid shin LOL hope i hear the details. in your heart you know i am right. let;s keep in touch
2006-12-30 20:51:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go easy on him. He may just want a break. Have you guys been hanging out too much? Definitly don't ruin the relationship over it but talk to him, does he really want to hang out with his friends more or does he just not like the plans. A realationship is all about conversation and working out problems. Good luck!
2006-12-30 20:47:32 · answer #4 · answered by supercoolgirlholly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've never considered New Years Eve a romantic night. I know some people HAVE to have someone to kiss, but w/e.
Stop smothering him, let him have his buddy time.
It's fine as long as he treats you good, and as long as the two of you have alone time in other ways.
2006-12-30 20:54:17 · answer #5 · answered by ♥♥ Nikki ♥♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmmm this is a toughy. this doesnt mean ur incompatible. why dont u bring some friends and join ur boyfriend so u guys can be together. or if thats not possible, really talk to him and tell him how u feel. if he doenst understand, it doenst mean u should leave him but it does mean that there needs to be some construction done in the relationship if u guys r really dedicated to making it last. good luck
2006-12-30 20:50:08 · answer #6 · answered by mtjiji_021 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be questioning his reasons for not wanting to be together for NYE. Doesn't seem right to me. But you are right to make alternate plans with your friends for the evening. As far as compatibility, listen to your gut feeling. Only you can decide what feels right and wrong for you. Everyone is different. But don't settle for less that what feels right for you. Respect yourself and your judgement. You can't change someone else but you can set your own standards and priorites. You can decide what you will and wont have in your life.
2006-12-30 20:51:55 · answer #7 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why tell him anything just go out and enjoy the holiday and don't worry. If he wants his friends around him your get all your friends atogether and hire a couple of strippers and enjoy the night. HEy if you want company call me I'll take you out and enjoy the night and I'll kiss you at midnight.
2006-12-30 20:51:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
im a guy, I wouldn't worry, sometimes we just need a time to party with are friends and get drunk. I agree with him, its not a romantic day
2006-12-30 20:46:13 · answer #9 · answered by rabdcow72 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah i would read into it. but the right way. dont say nothing. just observe, prepare yourself for a breakup and remember not all relationships are meant to be. the right one is probaly destined. let him go on with his life and make room for the right one to enter your life. if you need to vent feel free to email me. i am 42. been there and done that. (smile)
2006-12-30 20:48:26 · answer #10 · answered by prettysexycalves 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋