Do you ever feel like your missing something. Even though you may be loved by your current parents, and you appreciate what they've done for you greatly, do you ever feel bad about not knowing who and where you came from? Specifically if your from one race and adopted into another. Like if your a black guy raised by a white family, or vice-versa. Or Korean raised by a white family?
Do you have resentment towards your biological parents who put you up for adoption. Do you feel confused about who you are?
Do you mostly hang out with the race/culture that is your parents culture, but not yours? And if so, do you feel like you don't quite fit in?
Do you ever feel like you don't have much in common genetically with your current parents, and wonder what traits you have that your biological parents have, so you can learn more about yourself?
Or do you feel great, and possibly never questioned this. Or do you have no feelings about your situation at all?
Honest answers please
2006-12-30 11:36:19 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
By the way, to clarify, I'm not adopted. I was raised by my biological parents. I just wanted to ask this question to learn.
2006-12-30 21:53:59 · update #1
Alda - No don't worry, I like your answer as well as everyone elses. Thanks a lot for sharing, I've learned a lot from this.
2006-12-30 21:59:42 · update #2
Wow..you are not going to like my answer and I won't get the 10 but here goes. My mom was unreal..she did not even have the decency to give me to people who wanted me..instead I had to stay with her until the State took me away. They gave her a choice booze or me. She took booze. My father and step-mother finally got custody of me from the State of Florida. They raised me, loved me, and yep gave me some rules to live by. Not genetic to my step-mother ....but considering my mom, YES she was better. You at least get to live with the fact that someone gave you up so that you may have a better life. I was dragged along until someone in authority said ENOUGH and helped me escape one life to get another. Not meaning to sound cynical or mean but I have counseled quite a few people and most were grateful that their biological parent had the decency to give them up. I was confused for a long time as to why people who were given up for adoption were actually luckier than I was. The foster home I ended up in was not bad, the people were great, but it hurt that my mother could not simply let my dad have me, she had to make him fight the state for me after she would NOT give up her life style. I do not know what your adoptive life was like but I do know that at least you felt wanted because you do not meantion abuse. Feel lucky that whether you think "you fit in" or not, someone cared enough to let you go for a better life and someone cared enough to take you in. Bless you and I hope you have a great 2007.
2006-12-30 12:45:52 · answer #1 · answered by ஐAldaஐ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, your feelings may be influenced on how old you were when you were adopted, typically the younger you were (when adopted) the easier it is to adjust and deal with your new family. I was just three months old when I was adopted, and knew that i was adopted ever since i can remember. I can't help you on a couple points because i was adopted by parents of the same race (and almost same heritage), but hopefully i can answer a few of your questions.
I believe that every adopted child has a period in their life (typically in the teenage years when they are trying to figure out who they are) where they have some sort of resentment towards their biological parents. Questions about your biological parents probably come up such as "Why was I not worth keeping and raising?", or "Did they not love me enough to keep me?". But, you were put up for adoption because your biological parents DID love you and wanted you to be able to have a life that they could not provide.
Being confused about who you are is also just another natural part of growing up, but being adopted does add to those feelings. Just remember that you can be whoever you want to be. Being adopted is part of who you are but it doesn't define you. There are people I've know for years that don't know that I'm adopted, not because I'm ashamed or embarassed, but because to me it's just "another thing".
About wanting to know where you came from, its a very natural thing. For me, I've never seriously thought about finding my biological parents (though i do think about it every once in awhile). I'm not saying that I will never search them out, but to me they (my biological parents) are just the people that made me, and my adoptive parents are the people that raised me and made me the man I am today.
So, what I guess I'm trying to say is, what you're feeling is totally normal.
2006-12-30 12:54:39 · answer #2 · answered by seamus 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am an adopted and I just found it out when I was 26 years old already. I and my brother (bio child) are really close and sometimes he acted more than my (bio) Dad. When I found out that I was adopted and my brother knew about it for so many years, I really just hurt. I felt like I was betrayed. He is the first person I trusted and I expected him to be honest with me, as far as I am concerned. I am not upset with him but he did hurt me. I know it is not easy for him to tell what or who I really am but I guess I would be more relief if he does. There is nothing wrong in adopting a child but the foster parents should not hide the truth from the kid and better to tell it from the start and explain the reason why the foster parents did that instead of knowing the truth from other person. It is more painful than I though and thinking that all these years everything is just a lie…
2016-05-22 22:13:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I was adopted with all my 8 siblings and at first I didn't know, but whenever I looked at my adoptive parents I saw different hair and eye colored people, not my parents. But I didn't let that stop me from loving them. On my 14th birthday (A year ago) they told me and I was crushed. I didn't even open my presents with my twin. Then I looked up my parents on ask jeeves and it said they lived in California before they died. It said that my mom died after having my youngest sister Savanna, and my dad died in a car crash a few weeks later, we were set up adoption by him. But now I know where I came from, and even though I'm adopted, I'm happy.
2006-12-30 14:10:11 · answer #4 · answered by Highly Envious 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
As an adopted kid , I feal I am glad that I was adopted beccause my real mom( i don't know who she is ) gave me up so i could live a better life that she couldn't provide.
2006-12-30 11:54:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow, it must be tuff what you are going through! im not adopted, so I don't know anything about what if feels like, but if you ever need support or answers, God is always there.
2006-12-30 11:43:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋