my grandfather is dying and me and him were very close. he suffers of the disease Alzheimers so he doesn't really communicate well. He is on Hospice and everybody knows he's been through a great deal. i love him very much and i don't know how i would be able to tell him goodbye, every night my mother says "it's tonight" meaning he will die tonight, and i leave without a word because i find myself too sad to say anything to him, and i can't figure out what to say. i would like peoples advice on what to say and how to act. if so, please help me.
2006-12-30 11:27:53 · 14 answers · asked by Caitlin E. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't really know where to begin. what you're going through is something that everyone in their life will have to deal with some time or another. I lost my Grandpa when I was just 7, he had a heart attack, and I just recently, Oct. 6, I lost my hero. He was just 20 years old, he had been suffering from what they call Liposacroma Cancer (sp?). He was the most amazing person I had ever met in all my life. His life was amazing. He was in a band, had the most amazing family and friends. He was in my eyes Perfect. and yes it's hard to let go. but a way that I take his death, is that I know he's in a better place. The day they took him off life support, I knew that once he was gone he would no longer be suffering.
Don't let your Grandfather die without you telling him how you feel. He may not be able to respond the way he wants to, but he knows what you're saying. Tell him you love him when you walk away from him. Tell him that you'll meet him up in heaven one day. but don't walk away not saying anything, because you'll regret it.
2006-12-30 11:39:53 · answer #1 · answered by inovermyhead39 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i watched my grandpa die of liver cancer. that was really tough. i have an idea of what you're going through and it really hurts. i went to the hospital as much as i could when he was there for kemo. sometimes, you dont have to say much when your with him cuz it might mean enough to him that your there. my grandpa was the strongest man in the world until he got cancer.
if i were you, i'd try to be grateful for the fact that right now he's alive. just talk. about....whatever. it could be anything. before you leave when your with him, give him a kiss or say i love you or both. that will please him at least a little if not much more. i wanted to be with my grandpa when he died but he died at 2 in the morning. i'm still not over the fact that i wasnt with him the night b4 he died. so visit your grandpa when ever you get the chance. tell him you love him...
hope this advice helps =o)
resa~
2006-12-30 12:06:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When my father was dying I too wondered how I could ever say goodbye to him and finally the night he died I sat beside him on the bed kissed his cheek and told him that I loved him and that he was the best dad a kid could ask for and that I would always remember him and carry him with me in my heart and that it was okay for him to go. It was hard to say but I knew it gave him peace and within 30 minutes he was gone. It doesn't matter what you say even if it is just I love you but say something to give him peace.
2006-12-30 13:10:20 · answer #3 · answered by mandj_stahl2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear your sad news God Bless him and all of you.
Tell him how much you love him and you will never forget him.Thank him for being there for you.
I believe we all meet up again,later in heaven.
His mind may not be there but you would be amazed just how much dieing people do notice its on a spiritual level not one that we all understand but hold his hand and give him all the love you can muster to send him away with.He will never truly be gone while ever you all remember him. I have spent a lot of time with people who have passed away and it truly is a privilege.
God bless my prayers are with you
2006-12-30 11:42:38 · answer #4 · answered by deb m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have watched two grandparents and both of my parents die,it is a very hard thing to do.When my sister lost her husband a few months ago,she didn't think he knew we were there.She held his hand,talked about old times,the kids,their grandchildren,and she talked about her love for him.Before my grandma died I held her hand told her I loved her and that we'd meet again someday.She held on for days it seemed like,till my Mom got there and told here it was OK for her to go.That is when she smiled right before she died.I think people need to hear this,my brother-in-law was also waiting for those words.When my sis spoke them to him,through teary eyes,he gave up.So be yourself,tell him you love him,you will never forget him,and if he has to go it is OK.That you understand.Good luck with this difficult time in your life.
2006-12-30 13:13:02 · answer #5 · answered by birdlady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chin up hun, in the 1st place he knows you are there, and death is only a beginning, but the beginning is for him. If he loved you,( and I know he does) he will take that love with him. one the other side, he won't need any help and he will be able to see you everyday! I was told by MY grandmother. And she is a very smart woman. She died over 26 yrs ago, but I still rememeber the love we have.
2006-12-30 12:00:13 · answer #6 · answered by cprucka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm very sorry to hear this.
But you don't have to say goodbye? because he wont ever really leave you? the most you can do is just tell him how much he meant to you? and how much you love him?
And let him go knowing hes going to be free & happy
hope this helps.
2006-12-30 11:32:59 · answer #7 · answered by DJ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My father died a few months ago. He was in a coma....I held his hand, bent over and told him..."Dad, we will all be okay if you need to go." You will be in a better place and even though I will miss you terribly...I will have the memories that no one else has and I thank you for them. Maybe that is what your Grandfather is waiting for. Once they hear you will be okay and let them physically go, he will always be with you.
Good luck and I am very sorry for your impending loss.
2006-12-30 12:00:53 · answer #8 · answered by ladygwen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My heart brakes for you.... Saying good-bye is not easy, when my Dad was close to the end of his life,( brain tumor) I kissed him on the cheek and thanked him for being in my life and I will see him again in the next life. That I loved him For being in mine, and it was O.K. to go. I would tell you go see him and hold his hand. Sometimes the words come to you.Sometimes you don't need to say anything.
2006-12-30 11:43:08 · answer #9 · answered by whataboutme 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hold his hand, tell him how much you love him and how much he has meant to you. Tell him that you will feel his love for you every day of your life and thank him for always being there for you. Then tell him it is ok if he wants to let go and move on, that you understand, and that you want him to have peace.
2006-12-30 11:41:07 · answer #10 · answered by secondwish02 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋