I really love him and I have no excuse as to why I did. But I did and it was a one time thing. I don't know what to do now. I know that I will never be jealous again because I so do not have the right. I don't think I'm going to tell him. What do you think? (besides I'm a dirty nasty whore cause I already realize that)
2006-12-30 11:14:54 · 48 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Take it to your grave, unless anyone besides you and the cheatee knows about it. In that case, you would be better to tell him now.
2006-12-30 11:16:41 · answer #1 · answered by Helenp 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You are NOT a dirty nasty whore. You are just another in a long line of really weak people, both men and women, who have poor self control and care more about themselves than others. I have been cheated on before, and that is pretty much the worst feeling in the entire world. Should you be ashamed of yourself? Of course. Shoud you tell him about it? Absolutely, and you will have to live with the consquences. If you don't tell him, it will always be in the back of your mind (if you are a truly good person.) Therefore, you have to come clean. Don't try to make excuses, just plead your love and beg for mercy and hope for the best. And by the way, you said, "I know that I will never be jealous again because I so do not have the right." You may think that right now, but you are so wrong. In fact, you will become more and more jealous rather you tell him or not. My ex accused me of cheating all the time and I NEVER did. Come to find out, she was cheating on me. HMMMMM!!! Then, once you tell him, you're going to be jealous of every girl because you will think he's going for revenge. But you HAVE to do what's right if you want TRUE love.
2006-12-30 11:22:38 · answer #2 · answered by A T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Secrets lead to more pain in the long run, because they have a way of coming out no matter what we do to stop that from happening, and then the hurt feelings are worse. Secrets also lead to psychologically-induced health problems for the keeper. If this man is truly in love with you, you will be able to work this out, but I believe honesty is the best route. Love conquers all, right? I didn't say telling him would be the easiest or a painless way to handle this situation, but it's the best way if you have the guts to do the right thing. You are right that you won't have the right to be jealous again, but that won't give him a free pass to turn around and do whatever he wants to you in the future either. Just be careful about that, so he doesn't abuse you unfairly later on. You said you loved him, so you should show him the respect of sharing an honest relationship with him. I disagree that you should be talking bad about yourself. One slip does not make you a nasty whore, as that terminology goes best with long-established behavior patterns, but do ask yourself what made you slip? What is missing in your relationship that you thought you needed to fulfill? That is something you both should consider. You wouldn't have slipped if there wasn't something off kilter in your present relationship. If you made a mistake, that is one thing, but please don't equate that with your being a whore. From the way you worded your letter, I'm sure you're not one. Be Brave and Good luck!
2006-12-30 11:27:24 · answer #3 · answered by Genius Squirrel 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry that you feel like you about yourself.
To me I will be honest with you it sounds like you may be young and when I say that I mean under the age of 25 years-old and if this is the case then you shouldn't be that hard on yourself.
I am not saying that cheating on your boy friend is an okay thing but, it's not like you are married.
You are in the age group where you are still learning about life and yourself as well, and may be just may be you are not ready for an one on one relationship just yet.
May be this would be the time for you to be honest with yourself as well as him and see if this is what you really want.
I don't think you are an nasty whore, just a young woman still finding herself.
It's okay to do things like this when you are 20 yrs-old, that is what this time is for, for learning what it is you want and whom you want it with.
2006-12-30 12:29:37 · answer #4 · answered by Lil Angel 68 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hmm.
I think you WILL be jealous again, you will just have to suck it up because you realize you're in the wrong.
Then you'll realize he doesn't know you don't have a right to be jealous, and you'll revert to type.
You're having Guilt For Show (GFS) right now. GFS is where you feel bad, then stage 2 is feeling good about feeling bad about it, stage 3 is deciding you must not be so bad if you felt bad about it, and stage 4 is letting yourself off the hook.
I'll actually agree with you on not confessing. If you confess, it's about you wanting to face the consequences. Problem is, you put a huge emotional burden on him if you do. Suck it up, deal with it yourself. Hopefully with genuine guilt and not G.F.S.
Bill
2006-12-30 11:21:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all the people that agree with the comment you made about your self are idiots (because its not true) Everyone make mistakes its what makes us human. As long as you realise its a mistake and that you love the man your with it doesn't matter as long as you don't do it again. But i think the best thing would be to tell him? keeping secrets is not a good thing to do? not in a relationship where your supposed to trust each other.
2006-12-30 11:23:40 · answer #6 · answered by DJ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ah, I almost feel bad. You must have done it for a reason. I wonder what it was. Drinking? Is he bad in bed? Is he moving too fast and it scared you? It doesn't really matter. All that matters is you did it because you really DON'T love him. Despite what you say. I know when you REALLY love someone stuff like that doesn't "just happen" like you try to make it sound. Dump him and find Mr. Right. Then you don't have to wonder why you do stupid stuff.
2006-12-30 11:21:29 · answer #7 · answered by jbsim75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be honest with him, and tell him. If he is not willing to take you back, then don't over react, hopefully you can learn from your mistakes. Plus, you may be promiscuous, but you shouldn't think of yourself as a "dirty nasty whore", because when you think like that, other guys with think like that, and essentially want to get in your pants.
Hope I Helped!
2006-12-30 11:17:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
We're just humans and we make very bad mistakes. But you can start by clearing your conscience and tell him the truth. Your integrity and sincerity lies on it. Don't expect him to be sympathetic and yet he might also surprise you by forgiving you. Once in a while we slip up on this journey but never under estimate the power of love and forgiveness.
2006-12-30 11:37:19 · answer #9 · answered by tagara 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To tell or not to tell is the question:
Try the pros and cons of if you were to tell him and if you were not to tell him.
what do you expect to happen if you tell him? How do you expect him to handle it? How do you think this will effect your relationship? Are you prepared to lose him? Are you concern with his trust for you once you reveal this secret?
What if you never tell him? What will this do to your conscience?
How do you think this will effect your relationship to have a scret that you're too afraid to bring to light/
Either way, there is going to be a price for you to pay, so be careful and pick decide wisely.
2006-12-30 11:56:47 · answer #10 · answered by Tired of being Mr. Nice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gal you really messed thing up for yourself, that not withstanding no one is above mistake. lf you,ve come to a conclusion not to cheat on him again. Choose a better atmosphere and sit him down and tell him what happen and ask for forgiveness. Gal, this is the time to know if he truely loves you for who you are or for what you are. Gd-luck
2006-12-30 11:30:41 · answer #11 · answered by kelly 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋