I've been closer to my best friend for as long as I can remember and she's a girlie girl like me and we share many similiar tastes. My sister and I are very different and were very distant for a long time and we are just beginning to connect-but we have very different tastes. My sister is very critical of me and what I like and i'm afraid i'll be constantly defending myself and my selections because she hates all the flowery over-the-top girlie stuff that I love. I mean maybe I have it all wrong..what is the role of the maid of honor anyway? Are they expected to help plan or do they just calm your nerves the day of the wedding? I am just starting to get to know my sister and she's starting to open up to me so I don't want to slam her by not asking her. But I think it would be so much fun to have my best friend be the maid of honor. Any advice you have on this-especially those of you that are married-is greatly appreciated! Thanks!!
2006-12-30 10:43:20 · 32 answers · asked by laurarae12 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
My older sister and I both had our best friends as our maids of honour and no ones feelings were hurt. We were all in each others weddings though. I think your sister will (or should) understand, especially considering the state of your relationship. I've heard of lots of people regretting their decision about who they picked as their maid of honour. You need someone who will be there to help you, and someone you don't need to drag to your fittings or shopping. Having someone with similar tastes as you is helpful, but regardless, if they agree to be in your wedding they need to realize that if you pick bright orange taffeta, that is what they are going to wear-with a smile!
2006-12-30 14:10:13 · answer #1 · answered by wendygirl1000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you should do what makes you happy...it is your wedding afterall. I was my best friends maid of honor in her wedding...we had been planning to be each others maid of honors since we were kids. Also if you have more than one sister a best friend might be a better way to go so you don;t have to hurt one sisters feelings. Maybe you can find some other "honor" for your sister so she does not feel left out. Is either one married? One could be a matron of honor (who is married) and a maid of honor (an unmarried attendent)
2006-12-31 05:54:16 · answer #2 · answered by k_reile 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My sister-in-law had her best friend as her maid of honor instead of her sister. She wanted someone who was able to help her throughout the planning and someone who she felt fit the part best. Her sister, however, lived in the US when the planning and the wedding took place in Mexico. Her sister did not show any animosity towards her.
Also, if you do want to incorporate your sister you could have her do other roles during the wedding. OR you could have two maid of honors, just place your best friend in the #1 position and your sister in #2 and that might be a start to helping your bond begin to grow.
Good luck and Congratulations!
2006-12-30 10:57:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
My best friend had the same problem. We have been best friends for over 20 years and she has 1 sister who she has recently (in the past 5 years) become closer to. So she is making us both her maid of honor. It's a little untraditional, but it is working for all of us so far. She just got engaged so it hasn't been too long, but I'm not expecting any problems from it. It will work especially good if you only have a bridal party of 2, like her. I would say, if you had to end up picking, pick your sister-she's blood. It's just an honorary title anyway. It's not like your best friend can't still help you to plan the wedding. It's really just the order that they walk down the aisle in. Good luck!
2006-12-30 11:13:55 · answer #4 · answered by Rairia 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I had my best friend be my MOH, and my sister be only a bridesmaid. My sister and I are close, but we just have different tastes and I didn't think I would get enough support from my sister in all the prewedding planing. I didn't know how my family or sister would take the idea. My sister was very happy just to be a bridesmaid and not have all the responsibility of being my MOH. Then my husband decided to have his best friend who was the reason we were together be his Best man and his brothers be groomsmen. It all worked out for the best. I'm sure your sister will understand your reasons why you want your best friend as your MOH. Just be honest with both of them when you ask them.
2006-12-30 17:46:32 · answer #5 · answered by steffiegirl815 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister, who was married a few years ago, chose her best friend to be the Maid of Honor and me, her sister, to be a bridesmaid. I didn't mind at all (but then again, my sis is 10 years older than me). I think you should pick your best friend as your Maid of Honor. You don't have to pick family members to "keep up appearances." This is YOUR wedding, so do what YOU want.
2006-12-30 11:52:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The maid of honor should be your best friend - whether it's your sister or someone else. Most of your question doesn't really matter - who do you want as your maid of honor at your wedding?
If you really feel you need to maintain the momentum you've got going with your sister, just reassure her along the way how much your new relationship means to you. This doesn't have to be in the context of the wedding and her part in it - just say it. It never hurts to tell anyone how much they mean to you, and people who matter shouldn't be looking for particular rewards or recognition.
2006-12-30 10:56:22 · answer #7 · answered by mattzcoz 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My husbnad has a sister. That I grown close to. Very different taste. She is the girly girl and I ain't. I also have had my best friend for many years. Who is more like me. So I had one be the maid and the other be the matron of honor.
2006-12-30 13:27:48 · answer #8 · answered by nay 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your wedding, do what makes YOU happy. If you dont pick your sis, she will get over it. The maid of honor helps you stay calm on the big day, but she also could plan the bridal shower, help you pick out the floral arrangments, weddin cake, etc, so since your friend knows more about you, she would be better equipped to help you out. Just explain to your sis that you feel that you and your best friend have been lookin forward to this and talkin about it for a long time, so you feel it only right that your friend be there to stand up for you. Best Wishes!!
2006-12-30 10:54:08 · answer #9 · answered by Chevy Girl 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
It's possible that your sis would prefer not to be the Maid of Honor. There's a bit of being in the spotlight to that position, and she doesn't sound like the type. However if you're really worried about offending her, it would be easier to explain to your best friend that you'd rather she be your Maid of Honor, but that you want to save your sister's feelings. If you take that option, and your sister becomes too critical, you may have to remind her firmlly that it's YOUR wedding, and her job is to support you, not necessarily agree with you. Congratulations and good luck.
2006-12-30 11:58:29 · answer #10 · answered by Happy Wife 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋