Not sure what to do now?

Question

I really fancy this girl. She was giving me all the signals that she liked me. We were in contact alot over the holidays by text. She has a boyfriend but the relationship is very rocky and he is out of the country for a few weeks. She invited me to spend New Years Eve with her abroad at her friends. I only know this girl for a couple of months at work. I asked her was she inviting me as a friend or what cos I really like her. She said she thinks im lovely and a brilliant guy but that she is sorry she has a boyfriend. She is close to another girl in work and has loads of friends. We have never done "friend" things alone before. We talk alot at work, went out on a work night out and I drove her home once on a long journey (bout 2 hrs). What was she thinking asking me on a trip like that. I feel she was looking for the response I gave her. Now she got it I'm not sure what happens next. I still really like her. But I dunno whether to act like it didnt happen

or to play hard to get now or to keep being the nice guy that I think I am. I just dont want to be taken advantage of at same time. I dont think she wud intentionally do that though. Im just really confused.

Answer 1

I've been in a VERY similar situation with a girl recently, only this girl was not from overseas. Girls like that are complicated. She obviously likes many of your qualities and may even be somewhat attracted to you, but most likely as of RIGHT NOW, she sees you as a great guy who she wants to keep in her back pocket just in case. These types don't put any diabolical thought into this it's just how they operate. They click well with others, and like to have a backup plan. It is an unconscious thing, though. So, if you like her, no more mister nice guy. You have to be cocky and funny with her. In other words, keep up some of your good qualities, but don't always cater to her. Go to the party and hook up with one of her friends. If she likes you at all, this will make her jealous...but hey, she has a boyfriend!!! So who cares. What it will do for YOU is this.....if she is ever FREE again in the future, she won't just see you as her little buddy---she will see you as a MAN who other people are attracted to. Trust me---this will work.

Answer 2

This is from a guys point of view.

I agree with the above, this is a complicated situation and you need to tread carefully.

The bottom line is this girl has a boyfriend and do you want to get attatched to a female who has one guy in tow and another one waiting in the wings?

It sounds all good from what you say but it's along way to go just for sex (if you get it at all) and will she be thinking it's her boyfriend in bed with her?

I think you should call her bluff, tell her you like her a lot but are not prepared to play the support act.
Tell her that if she really wants to be with you then she needs to call it a day with her boyfriend and then see you.

Or you could just go, take the chance you might get to bang her brains out and walk away.

Your call.

Answer 3

You have asked about the same problem not long ago, so you obviously feel that you haen't found the solution to your problem.

All i can say is, follow the boat wherever it floats, and just let it take its course.
Women are, unfortunately, complicated creatures, so I haven't the slightest in what her plans are. There are multiple options on what could happen.

Go to her party that shes got planned, enjoy yourself! and if your lucky, you might just get a new year's kiss from her.

Answer 4

It's a tricky one. have to agree though, if she is willing to cheat on her current b/f, then there is a good chance she will end up cheating on you if the two of you do end up eventually going out. if she really does like you then she should end it with her current b/f, but give her time to do it in person when the other guy gets back, not over the phone!

Answer 5

Hi, for one thing i think she is using you and that you deserve better. You will always be thinking of her in the way she wont feel about you. I suppose if you dont mind being friends but she seems to be leading you on and her boyfrined. Find someone who loves you in return. You will only get hurt with this lass.

Answer 6

well if she is taken its really not a good idea too pursue her.. put urself in her b/f place would u want a guy tryin to get with ur girl its best to move on a find a single girl one that isnt taken and u can go into the realtionship in a honest loyal way...never try to break up a relationship it will always come back on u...let her break it off on her own if shes interested in u dont encourage it...if she likes u she will somehow be with u

Answer 7

It sounds as though she does really like you and you may well be in with a chance as her partner is away during christmas and new year.........just stay friendly, stay cool and see what happens - she's probably a bit unsure what to do for the best - give her time.......Good luck and happy 2007!

Answer 8

Friendship is more valuable than a love relationship. If you wee invited to a group setting then there is an oppertunity to develop more of a friendship. But do not lead her to "cheat " on her boyfriend- because she might do she same thing to you. Continue to be a gentelman and she will have room to make the decision and she will respect you more for it.

Answer 9

Sounds to me that she wants to just take advantage of you. She wants to be with you, but she doesn't want you to have the term "boyfriend" because she already has one. The first sign was that her relationship is rocky and he is away. What a perfect excuse for her to cheat on him.

Answer 10

She is looking for a sucker to cheat on her current boyfriend with. How long do you think it will be before she is in the market for the next sucker - this time to cheat on you with? Wake up and smell the coffee.