Unlocking your car
Two blondes were recently observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. Here is their dialogue:
Blonde One: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde Two: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder! it's starting to rain, and the top is down!
if you havent noticed i have another email and i use both to put out blonde jokes and im always ready to give someone ten points if they tell me a good joke
2006-12-30 10:35:35 · 15 answers · asked by connie a 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Death Row in Women's Prison
Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…"
Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"
Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.
The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…"
Suddenly the redhead yells, "TORNADO!!!"
Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.
By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…"
And the blonde yells, "FIRE!!!"
joke 2:
There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!”
joke 3:A brunette is walking through the country, when she finds a bottle. She rubs it and, you guessed it, a genie appears.
The genie says, "You are allowed three wishes. But, I must warn you, anything you get, all the blondes in the world get twice as much."
The woman says, "Okay. Give me a nice house."
The genie replies, "You now have one nice house and all the blondes in the world have two."
The the lady says, "Give me a gorgeous man."
The genie replies, "You now have one gorgeous man, while all the blondes have two."
The lady says, "For my last wish, Genie, see that stick over there? Beat me half to death with it."
joke 4:
Every day two blonde women would come out of work together and look for their car. But all the cars in the lot looked the same, so they sat around until all the cars were gone and then they would get in the last car and go home. One blonde said to the other, ''We need to find a faster way to get home.'' So the next day they went to work on a camel. After work they came out and the parking lot was full of camels. So the first blonde went around lifting up the tails of all the camels. The second blonde said, ''What are you doing?'' The first blonde said, ''When we came in today I heard someone yell "'Look at those two assholes on that camel!!'"
hope u laughed
2006-12-30 11:05:47 · answer #1 · answered by ♥♪♠♫peacelovehappiness♫♠♪♥ 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
that was really good!!! LOL thanks!! here's one: A blonde is speeding down a highway and gets pulled over by a blonde cop.The cop asks, "Can I see your license?" The blonde driver replys "What is a lisence?" The cop says it's a small square card with a picture of you and your info on it." So the blonde driver digs in her purse for it, but can't find it so she just gives the blonde cop her small mirror. "Oh", the cop says looking at her own reflection "I didn't know you were a police women". LOL Wasn't that one funny? Good New Year!! =D
2006-12-30 10:47:37 · answer #2 · answered by You're My Wonderwall 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i got one:
in a room there is a smart blonde, bigfoot, godzilla, the loch ness monster and a dumb blonde
there is also a dollar that they all want- who gets it?
Ans: the domb blonde because none of the others exist!
(slaps his knee heartily)
Another:
a blonde walks into a barbershop wearing headphones and sits down in a chair and asks for a haircut
the barber replies that she needs to take off her headphones
she tells him that she cant
the barber reaches out and removes them
the blonde falls dead
the barber puts the headphones to his ear and hears:'inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale...'
haHA im so funny
Ooh i got even more:
so two blondes are sitting on a beach one night and one says to the other
which do you think is farther away- miami or the moon
the other replies
duh! you cant see miami from here!
AhhhHAhaHA man i should get a job doing this
2006-12-30 10:46:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 1⤋
LOL
OK-
What is a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
Humpme Dumpme!
ok-
Why do blondes where big hoop earrings?
To put their feet through.
2006-12-30 10:58:05 · answer #4 · answered by Megz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There was a blonde woman who wanted to go water skiing in her weekend break.
But she couldn't a lake with a slope on it.
2006-12-30 10:50:20 · answer #5 · answered by fred 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
try to give me really new and funny ones you can give me more than one but im just going to choose the funniest joke or the best comment
2006-12-30 10:57:15 · answer #6 · answered by lil miss mystery 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol that was funny.
THERE WAS 3 GIRLS, 1 REDHEAD, 1 BRUNETE, 1 BLONDE. THE 3 GIRLS WERE ABOUT TO BE EXECUTED. THE REDHEAD GOES UP AND THEY EXECUTIONER GOES ANY LAST WORDS AND SHE GOES YES AND YELLS TORNADO AND EVERYONE GOES CRAZY AND LOOKS BACK, SHE MANAGES TO GET AWAY.. THEN THE BRUNETE GOES UP AND THE EXECUTION GOES ANY LAST WORDS AND SHE GOES YES.. THEN SHE YELLS TWISTER AND EVERYONE AGAIN LOOKS BACK AND SHE GETS AWAY..SO FINALLY THE BLONDE KNOWS THE POINT OF WHAT TO DO.. SO THE EXECUTION GOES ANY LAST WORDS AND SHE SAYS YES AND SHE YELLS FIRE!
LOL I THOUGHT THAT WAS FUNNY
2006-12-30 10:40:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
you're the perfect! (a aspect- of tickles for u). "She spent 20 minutes searching on the orange juice can because it reported: "concentration..." Blondie became hypnotized. "one hundred% organic" sparkling, orange you? = )
2016-10-16 22:29:39 · answer #8 · answered by banegas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMGah! that's such a typical joke!! but i've never heard it!! it's ssoo funny!!!!
2006-12-30 10:39:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There was 3 blonde girls. 1 blonde girl has 1 sister. She is blonde 2. Blonde 2 has a Cousin. Which makes her Blonde 3.
Blonde 1: OK ready to go? im ready to go watch my favorite movie at the theaters!
Blonde 2: Yes im ready! grab your purse u have the passes!
Blonde 1 Was busy fixing her hair when her sister told her to get the passes
Blonde 1: Yeah Yeah!
Doorbell: DING DONGGGGGG
Blonde 2: Oh hey! (she answered the door)
Blonde 3: Hi ready to go to the science class??
Blonde 1 and 2: YES!
Blonde 1 grabed her purse and inside were tampons.
2006-12-30 10:44:45 · answer #10 · answered by iL0VEY0U 1 · 2⤊ 8⤋