Can you help me out?

Question

This year has not been the best for me, due to many reasons. Anyway i was diagnosed with depression which to me wasnt such a shock for the last few months before that i was really low at losing me and didnt care anymore.
But what i would like to know is how do you beat the feeling of being lost and wanting you back? for me this has been a year of wanting me back but still cant find me- this should i hope make sense to people in a similar situation!
I got to the stage of considering loads of things it got out of control to a certain extent but i was able to confide in a close friend who has been through loads too, with her help and support i went for help! i refused tablets tho.
My problem is i would also like to know is it part off it or just me over the festive period it was spent with family bros and parents but i didnt want to be there and felt trapped so closed down, and i am still closed down altho New Year is coming.
Can anyone help me out on this please.Thanks

to all the people answering my question just get on with it you dont actually realise easier said than done, i really hope you do not get depression at anytime.

Also i do not just think of myself, i am a great person to be around i hide things easily. My close friend i refered to has lost a parent, broke leg, damaged eye and has been ill and i was there for her no matter what, and still am, so please realise i am not a self centered person i am a better person than that and care and love my friends and family. i am too kind according to all my friends and family.

I am just needing help and advice. as i say hope you never get it and if you do remember your answer.

Thanks to all answering with help and advice.

Answer 1

Firstly, just ignore the idiots that seem to come on this site just for a laugh and to upset people. They don't know the first thing about depression and probably never will because they think only of themselves and NEVER bother about anyone else. People with depression worry about other people and seldomly about themselves, and for most that is a major part of depression. It is almost as if people who are so nice are the ones that suffer, because they spend their lives looking after everyone else and don't stop to look after themselves.

to answer your question . . . yes it is part of it, but yes it is also part of you. I know that doesn't really help answer your question, but that is the answer. You say you spent christmas with family, brothers, parents etc, that shows you are a great person and your family love you. You just need to love you too!

You should continue with help, but don't put up the shutters if that help suggests medication. If you had just broken your leg you wouldn't refuse pain killers, you wouldn't refuse if they said you had to have a pin put in and you wouldn't refuse a plaster cast. There is so much stigma attached to depression unfortunately,people see it as a weakness. In fact it is strong people that get depressed, the people that struggle on without letting on, the people that put on that confident 'I'm fine' mask every morning.

I don't know if any of that helps, but just try to remember that you have a family that obviously love you and you have a great friend - but that is because you are a great friend.

You take care of yourself, and have a healthy and happy new year, and take the advice of the professionals if they say you need meds.

Answer 2

I feel for you as I have been through the same situation. The only difference is I didnt say a word to anyone I pretneded that everything was ok. The only problem now is I get angry with people a lot quicker than I used to.
I felt compleatly lost and had to find myself again. I did this by leaving. I moved away from family and friends about 300 miles away and decided that I needed this space to find myself. It was very hard as the last thing you need when you feel liek this is lonelyness but when you dont know anyone this happens alot.

I got a new job and envolved myself in the works social activities as much as possible and reinvented myself.

It took 3 years and alot of tears on the way but I have now moved back got married and had a baby and although sometimes I still feel like I need some me time to do something a little crazy like go out by myself for a week or something!! lol I am doing really well.

I hope this helps as I am not sure it would work for everyone.

Good luck and try not to worry.

Answer 3

I am so sorry to hear you are suffering with depression. Please ignore any negative replies on this posting as they do not understand nor do they know how bad and real depression is.

One thing I will say it is not a permanent part of you and you will recover. How do I know this? Well I am now in recovery from depression/anxiety and I am determined to kick it out of my life for good. It is an illness like any other and needs treatment. My best approach has been to see a counsellor who has been fantastic. I hope that you seek the help you deserve and do not feel any shame in your condition. Depression arises when emotional needs are not being met or a trauma from the past has not been dealt with effectively.

Christmas is always a stressful and difficult part of the year to cope with ...so many expectations and pressures...family get togethers etc. Try and think to yourself that the new year will bring you something better. You will find yourself again you are still there and you will feel back to yourself. You have to have patience and courage with this condition...but it won't beat if you take it on and show it the door!

All the best and take care and I hope you find a professional counsellor who can help.

Answer 4

I'm sorry you feel so bad. Don't worry you're not the first & won't be the last! it is very difficult though, I know I've been there too *& still am sometimes).
I don't quite understand what the problem is, is it depression or do u feel you have lost urself? losing ur self is a tough one but don't try to force urself to change the way u feel. Try to own that feeling, go within. Perhaps you feel spaced out or ungrounded. idf that's the cause, imagine roots (like a tree) going down from your feet into the ground. Spend time alone in nature or go with a friend for walks in nature. nature has a way of reconnecting us with the earth & trees & greenery absorb our negative eneriges, just as they take in CO2 & give out oxygen..
Yoga is great way to feel in your body. It'll calm your emotions as does deep breathing.
other than that, i thought you might like this book:(see link)

I also really like this meditation CD to balance & recharge chakras (chakras are the main energy points in the body), you'll learn more from the accompanying book.

Make a decision to be positive from now on, forget the past & think that was yesterday, this is a new day. My life is going to improve everyday in every way!

may 2007 be a year of new beginnings!

Answer 5

I dont know how too help you medically but from my own experiences with depression I can tell you it is a step bye step process.The medication ur on probaly makes u feel like ur in the clouds half the time I know this because I'm takeing these kind of meds too. How too feel like urself again...errrm tough one!!! If it was me I'd try remembering a time before I was so depressed when I was happy now this is usually a childhood memory a first love or something along them lines...

One last thing just because this illness is getting you down at the moment it won't always be like that it takes time and patients too get better as for beening urself again that may never happen so do urself a favour try not too dwell on it try too create a new you the guy or girl who suffers from depression but CHOOOSES not too let over people around you make you feel low,what you need is a good group of mates who excepts you for what you are and not what you've become...

you can beleive or not go on living even with depression it just means that now some things in life will get you down from time too time thats where your friends and family come in they are there too pick you up when ur down and dont worry about the past look too ur future.things may seem hard at the moment for you but eventually despite how ur feeling they doo get abit better with time...

as for people on the net dont worry about it some people chose too air there opinions in a nasty way others dont I hope u stay well myt friend because depression is hard too live with but you will learn too live with this illness just like u would learn too live with any other illness it just takes patients and time...

Ur gp should be able too help you out with a councellor if you need too see one maybe that too would be a good idea too think about over these last few days of the holidays...over than that im sure that there may be a mencap centre or a local mental health clinic in ur area phone around after the holidays or ask uir gp what resouces are available too you the next time you see them..

Answer 6

I know how you feel, been this way for nearly 20 years. nearly 2/3 rds of my life. I agree with the above exercise, diet. counselling ect. Take a few minutes each day to give yourself a compliment, and to me thankful for something, however small(even silly things like the smell of a flower). Sounds stupid but it helps. I remember the depression like an unbearable weight that consumed me. some days good, some days bad. No-one ever new how i felt as i could be the brightest, happiest person on the outside. Then one day I thought what is the point... I have my health... the people i love...the rest of my life. Try and put down what haunts you. It took me two years of Bl**dy hard work, and a lot of help. But fingers crossed im 90% good. I know it can come back a t any time but like i said the silliest of things appreciated can be fantastic!

Answer 7

I don't know what happen but last christmas i refused to spend christmas with everyone. but this year I purchased presents that reallly were ment for that person.
this year I am better. it was slow and no one thing really did the "trick" I think I just changed so many things about my self the old me was gone. the depression was lessen. I became a person that did not care about others opinion or needs.

I know it sound cold but my need were/are important and they did not help. so I am more self center but I am realist about what i can do and that I need no help. I will suvive and I still take somestuff to help. but my life is in order. I know my family does not care or think that the problem is real. But they are the losers, they lost me.

Answer 8

I've been suffering too but it's only in the past 6 months that I have recovered,
Unlike you I don't have any family only my kids.

The only way to change it is to be positive.
I'm not meaning to sound harsh, but we all have to just get on with it,

I have had the worst kind of violence you can imagine, and I nearly died.
I also lost my daughter.
As well as having no parents I'm raising 3 kids by myself.

Your entitled to feel sorry for yourself, everyone is, but there are so many people that would kill for a family, me included.

Perhaps counselling may help

Answer 9

I do so feel for you even though I do not understand the pain you are going through, I seem to have hit a depressive state my problem is to do with my mother being ill I am finding it hard to cope with all the extra work involved and can see no light at the end of the tunnel. Try to find something positive to look forward to it will be a new year do something you consider to be worthwhile, hope you find peace of mind, happy new year to you and yours.

Answer 10

Hi! Please don't despair, there is light at the end of that tunnel, it just might seem out of reach, but you can get there. Definately talk to a doctor who you feel comfortable with, and don't completely rule out the tablets. I suffered from post natal depression and i was prescribed anti depressants, although i didn't want tablets at first, i'm so glad i took them, they really do help! I took them for 8 months total, they took a couple of months to work though, then i gradually came off them, under my doctor's guidance, i've been off them for 6 months and i feel great and they're not addictive. Trust your doctor, they know what they're talking about, hope you get better x