I developed feelings for a female co-worker. She recently broke up with a long-term boyfriend (with him for about 8 months) and I told her how I felt. She said she was not ready for a relationship, but thought it could be a possibility down the road. I am glad I got that off my chest. However, I am still puzzled as to what she thinks of me. We remain close emotionally, there is some light touching, etc. However, she does not seem to want to do much with me outside of work. She rarely talked about her boyfriend (or potentials), she never talks about girls with me (e.g. you should go out with someone), She claimed that she really never thought (positive or negative) about a further relationship between the two of us, even though people have told us to our face we are like husband/wife. She rarely complements me, but never says kiss of death things like "you're just a good friend" or "you are like a brother" I know she cares deeply for me, but she has not expressed it. Any thoughts?
2006-12-30 09:06:01 · 5 answers · asked by dansmith2373 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She told you she wasn't ready for another realationship right now. Just give her some time, and let her decide when the time is right. You've told her how you feel, now the ball is in her court; let her make the first move.
2006-12-30 09:12:22 · answer #1 · answered by tiny_tim 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Toughie.
The difficult part is that you see her often and you obviously get along but you want to start a relationship and she wants to keep the status quo for now. Plus, this is a situation at work.
My 2 cents is that you have already done all that you can do for now. You asked about a relationship and she said "not now". I know that is somewhat wishy washy of her but that's what the woman said. You dont want to latch on to her and wonder if "today's the day" for the rest of your life because I guarantee you that if that day doesnt come or if she goes on a date with another guy before you you will be hurt.
Go on a date with another girl. That's what I'd do. And subtly let her know that you did it. Maybe a little reverse psychology will help. Plus, you dont want to be obsessed with this one girl forever. (And sorry to say this, you do sound a little obsessive. You asked about your "relationship" but it doesnt sound to me like you have one.) You will then seem like the "unattainable one". Maybe she'll come around then. Or maybe you will like that girl you went on a date with.
Whatever you do, dont badger this girl at work. Be cucumber man as in cool-as-a. If you constantly whine and act like a mush, it will kill any opportunity you have. Also, bear in mind that some girls love to mind-f**k. That is, if she knows she has you under her thumb, she might be happy leaving you there.
But remember, you asked and she answered. You have to respect that. Take it day to day and go out with someone else for now.
2006-12-30 17:16:55 · answer #2 · answered by sothere! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should ask her on a date. Take her to a nice dinner and be romantic. Show that you have feelings for her. Show her how romantic and nice you are and maybe tell her again that you have feelings for her. Maybe you will develop a relationship with her.
2006-12-30 17:10:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Give her time and be patient at least she does not want to use you as rebound person it sounds like her heart is broken and she needs time to heal it so be supportive and in time she will be with you if its meant to be
2006-12-30 17:08:47 · answer #4 · answered by Angel Virgo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get over her and find someone else...your wasting your time waiting.....
2006-12-30 17:09:49 · answer #5 · answered by nikolashaidamous 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋