how can i carry on like this?

Question

i have asperger syndrome
i find it difficult to communicate, i have no friends
i tend to be used by other people and ditched when they feel like it.
i'm stressed.
i also have a family crisis. my parents are seperated
i feel guilty about stuff.
i go out on my own alot and it ends in disatser.
please help.
ive has councilling in the past and 2 years on i haven't go anywhere.

Answer 1

here is a quote to contemplate on today...
It's not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required.
Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)

You can carry on simply because you must!

aspergers is a very real condition which can make a lot of things in life harder to do and to deal with... but you can learn.. and will learn just because you need to.. there is a whole list of things that are worse to have than aspergers... I wont bother to try to write that list here but honestly simply accept and embrace your condition and do the best you can with each moment as it comes..

Your communication right here seems quite fine.. perhaps you are narrowing your own definition of communication.. this wonderful medium called the Internet gives us all an opportunity to communicate in new and wonderful ways that is in many ways more forgiviing, less threatening and really can bring us into contact with a wider range of people than face to face communications..

friendships are like old english gardens they take years to cultivate... true friends are precious and few... but to get a really good friend first you have to befriend yourself... you see in offering friendship all you are offering is youself.... nothing more nothing less...so if you do not believe that you are a worthy gift for your potential friends... neither will they... you have to see the value in yourself... the value in your own heart, mind, body and soul before you can truly make friends..

Stress is a new age word for "I'm ALIVE". Stress just means your mind is thinking, your heart is beating, and life is moving right along..

family crises come to us all and it is not for any of us to make decisions for our parents or other family members but simply to accept them for who they are and to ride each crisis out... bad times are just like good times... they too will pass...

guilt in small doses is good for the soul... it is like a little voice that says... "that was wrong" so hear the voice and accept whatever you did was wrong then forgive yourself and move right along... wallowing in guilt is self-indulgent and gets you no where...

continue to go out on your own... continue to encounter disasters and continue to overcome them... we all do.. life is like that... we all have disasters it is what we do with them and learn from them that truly matters and how we spend our time between disaasters.. one problem a lot of teenagers and young adults have about friendships is that they watch too much darn tv and get this idealised view that everyone else has loads of friends... the truth as I have learnt it is that most people are lucky to have one or two friends.. there of course are always going to be the one or two who are ultimately popular and surrounded by other people... (but are they really surrounded by friends??)

If two years after finishing counselling things are not any better then go back to counselling... but before you do sit down and write a list of what you want to achieve by going to counselling.. it can be a simple point form list.. something like..
*deal with parents seperation
*learn to overcome guilt
*learn about making friends
*figure out what to do between disasters.
Take the list with you to the first session with your new counsellor, tell them or show them your list. then discuss wit them which of the things on your list are the most important and immediate that you want to deal with first... then as you learn more and grow through each one you can cross it off the list.. this then becomes your record of achievement..

Best of luck and may the road rise up to meet you...

Answer 2

You just have to keep going. Reading your question sounds like it came from my own brain. Except I have not had any outside help. The moment I get ahead something else happens to to put me more behind than I just was. It is a day to day struggle just to find a reason to keep going. But I think about the people in unimaginable places. Starving in a third world country with no home, or a young girl with a pimp with no way out. Then i see it is not so bad. Don't give up, there are people out there who are still good inside. You just have to find them and pass on the goodness.

Answer 3

I think your social problems could be because you are approaching social situations from a position of weakness, having no friends already. You could try approaching social situations from a position of power with the assumption they need you to be their friend more than you need to be their friend. Attaining ridiculously large sums of money is one way to attain this position of power, but there are other ways like becoming "the boss" at work, and so on. I could be wrong, but I do not think I am. Good luck!!!

Answer 4

As soon as any state of mind is fully accepted it is fully transcended.