My 34 yr old brother wants to come stay with me again. He has no job, no money, Nothing. He has been a binge crack user for about 8 yrs and is always wanting to "get his life straight" and I have always been there. We have 2 kids and really no room for him or the extra money to keep him up til he does better and the last time he was here, he binged for no reason (stress's). When he binges, he just disappears for about a week without a word and won't answer his phone. Worries the family sick. Mom is fed up and no one wants him, because of his track record. Everytime we try to help, he relaps. However he is my only sibling and the younger and I feel torn between obligation to family and not tolerating him. HELP
2006-12-30 08:44:19 · 11 answers · asked by tonyer71 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If he doesn't want to change, then you can't help him. There are some people in this world you just can't help and letting them use and abuse your relationship with them does not help the situation. Your brother chose this lifestyle, now let him answer for it.
2006-12-30 08:50:52 · answer #1 · answered by Creampoof737 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to help him but not necessarily in the way he wants. If you let him live with you, you start hating him and you will no longer like to help him. My suggestion is help him by finding a job for him or registering him in a class to learn doing some thing. He's already 34 and should nnot be helped by others.
2006-12-30 17:34:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some tough Love is required here. You must protect your family first, you need to tell him he can't be around your kids because of his drug habit and associated behaviour. Maybe you could get the family together for an intervention and get him into rehab. He needs help to help himself but also needs to know you'll continue to Love and support him. Good luck.
2006-12-30 16:50:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he needs tough love and rehab.And why would you want someone like that around your kids.At 34,he needs to figure out his own life and quit relying on others to enable him. If hitting 'rock bottom' has to happen,then too bad,it might just be what he needs.Sorry to sound so harsh,but had a similar prob. w/ a cousin. Good Luck
2006-12-30 18:46:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will sit down and talk 2 him and say "if you want 2 stay then really stay and you are going tohave 2 clean up" It may work and if it doen't then kick him out because you wouldn't want your kids around that!
2006-12-30 16:49:37 · answer #5 · answered by shorty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you want to help him, have him check into a rehab and get a job then maybe you will be more willing to have him live with you until he gets on his feet, you don't want you kids seeing you codone his behaviour, it will only confuse them and think that it is okay, the best help in this situation is to have tough love and help him seek help for his addictions.
2006-12-30 16:48:56 · answer #6 · answered by blueigurl34 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should try to get him to go to rehab. If he really wants to get straight he will agree to it. If not then he is just looking for a place to stay. Your kids are more important.
2006-12-30 17:11:37 · answer #7 · answered by dmstanley02 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first of all before you even consider helping him.. you need to think about your kids.. you mentioned that you have two.. they should come first.. and they really should not be around someone that is doing drugs all the time and they should not be in the same house as it..
2006-12-30 16:48:54 · answer #8 · answered by Emi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're doing him no good at all by enabling him to keep using. Tell him it's rehab or the streets. It's called "tough love."
2006-12-30 16:48:10 · answer #9 · answered by Don S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldn't keep on helping him cuz if you do he will depend on you and when he does that he will never get a job or his own apartment. He needs to learn responsibility
2006-12-30 16:50:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋