Ok, my boyfriend, who is having a hard time opening up to me and telling me what is on his mind finally told me that He loves me and he is going through a lot of bad depression. That his family and the people he lives with are always making him feel like he is nothing and making him feel bad. He said he felt like blowing his brains out.
Well before he told me this, he had made me angry. He had just hung up the phone after talking to me and when he hung up all he said was well i love you im gone. didn't give me time to say anything before he hung up. So after he called me back a few minutes later, he just sat there and woudn't talk to me. I kept asking him to tell me and he would yell at me. So i told him I was not going to let him sit there and take his anger out on me. So When he decided to tell me what is wrong so i can help him and make him feel better not to call me. well i sat on my bed for a bit and got to thinking about how much i love him. (check below for rest of story)
2006-12-30 08:20:18 · 10 answers · asked by Fresca Jesca 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
But i know that if i keep pushing the issue of him telling me what's wrong then he's going to fall further away from me. So i told him when he answered the phone that i wasn't going to make him tell me anything anymore. and before i could say anything he said well that is not a reason for you to hang up on me. and he was gone. So i called back determined for him to listen to me. That's when he told me what was going thru his head. It terrifies me to death that he thinks this. I might be pregnant and he has been talking marriage to me and everything. I told him i loved him and not to listen to anyone or anything negative they had to say. He was wonderful and he had me no matter what. and i told him not to do anything stupid like that. I really don't feel like he would for real, but the thought just scares me. I really don't know what my question except maybe did i do the right thing?
2006-12-30 08:23:19 · update #1
He sounds very immature and like he needs a therapist. It's not your job to make him feel better or to fix him. If he has such serious depression, he's not emotionally available for a relationship, as he has already demonstrated by his behavior.
2006-12-30 08:24:20 · answer #1 · answered by joanmazza 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well... What you have to understand about depression is no matter how much you try to make him feel better it probably won't help too much. What you can do is support him. The hard thing TO do is support him because he is obviously pushing you away. It isn't that he doesn't love you and hes tryign to be angry and mean its that he is depressed and he is having problems getting help. You need to let him know that you will be there for him through these hard times and that he can get through this. Don't scold him for his behaviour of taking things out on you. Of course it IS unfair to you, but you don't want him hurting himself physically or killing himself because he has nothing left. You obviously still are there for him and you are his only link to help. So what you need to do is deal with his state. Sure it maybe hard but if he gets angry just look at things from his standpoint. Maybe your life is great but his isn't. Or if it is he can't see it, so that is why he is looking for excuses to run away and get angry. He doesn't want anyone. Being unsocial is a sign of depression. You can do several things to help him because you are like i said his link to help right now. Do not give up. Let him know you are there. Maybe put extra effort to show that you care. Invite him to go see a movie etc or dinner. Some activitiy to get his mind of things. maybe suggest a therapist? if he doesn't want to, he needs help of somekind. He is very fragile right now so you have to be careful but he does need help. Possibly medication. Don't give up. It is crazy how suicide is so common in teens these days. help him in any way you can. You can by either showing him you care and being there for him even when he pushes you away or trying to get him help by possibly telling his parents ( don't let him know you did this, and be careful make sure its only when he really can no longer be helped by you.) Tell him... That " everyday is a new life to a wiseman" let him know he can change and to live everyday to its fullest he can turn a new leaf over and start his life again. It is just up to him. You can't force him to change, but you can be there for him when he trys.
2006-12-30 08:29:27 · answer #2 · answered by LIZ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey this man has some issues. He is clinically depressed. I'm a psychiatric nurse and believe me when I tell you he needs help. Depression in men is usually manifested as anger at themselves and at the world. You can be loving and supportive but you cannot make him "better", you can't cure him. Your best bet right now is to put some distance between you and him, this man is a danger not only to himself but at some point to you too. Suicidal men often become homicidal men as well. Please for your sake encourage him to get some real professional help and get on some medication and someone who will help him get this anger and these feelings of self harm under control. Good luck
2006-12-30 08:32:53 · answer #3 · answered by older and wiser 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good for you trying to help him he sounds like he needs you more than ever at the moment hes getting a hard time at home and you might be all he feels he has left ,hes depressed bless him ,reasure him you are there for him no matter what ,you might save his life he seems to be thinking on those lines ,take it sereous,,,till you know hes ok ,just listen to him ,that might be all he needs well done to you ,most people wouldnt be able to handle someone like this ,you must have a heart of gold ,,,,,,,
2006-12-30 08:27:05 · answer #4 · answered by whitecloud 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cannot change someones home life. you will not be able to help him as much as you would like to. all you can do is be loving and kind. but be careful that he doesnt lean on you too much , because one of 2 things could happen. one yall could break up and it would tear his foundation in 2, or you could end up suffering because of the pressure to make his life better. no one needs to have that responsibility.
2006-12-30 08:27:28 · answer #5 · answered by summer girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is he close by??? Can you go and see him??? He sounds like he needs some therapy. Someone outside of his life to talk to and help him sort things out. If not a therapist then someone other then his inner circle of family and friends. Good luck! Hugs to you!
2006-12-30 08:23:10 · answer #6 · answered by mysweetluvie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can do is tell him how much you love him and that you will always be there for him. Let him know that you support him and always will.
2006-12-30 08:24:05 · answer #7 · answered by Lady C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him that he might not get support @ home, but he has all the support in the world from you, and that you really love him!
2006-12-30 08:23:03 · answer #8 · answered by Lindsey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has threatened suicide. Take it seriously. Report this to someone who can help him. If you love him, do it sooner rather than later.
2006-12-30 08:24:07 · answer #9 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no
2006-12-30 08:21:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋