I was in a relationship for three and a half years, which had a lot of problems (he was violent a couple of times, very controlling, and even said things like he'd rather read a porn mag than have sex with me just to hurt me). Over a month ago he kicked me out of our apartment then the next day he begged me to come back. I did but I waited until he was at work packed up all of my stuff and left (mainly because I knew he would not let me collect my things otherwise). I have explained to him why I left thousands of times, but he says that he still doesnt understand and he says that it's unfair that I bring up the past. Also recently he has tried to be "friends" with me and it makes me really uncomforable and no matter how I explain he says he doesn't understand why. I have also tried cutting off all contact with him but then he stalks my parents house and threatens to kill himself and I think he is crazy enough to do it. How do I get rid of him without him hurting himself or me?
2006-12-30 07:51:03 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
change your phone number, don't let him know where you're living. you need to get away from him. it's hard, but it has to be done. good luck girl
2006-12-30 07:53:58 · answer #1 · answered by *KiM* 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Threatening to kill himself is such a guilt trip thing to do! And if he is stupid enough to do it, it was his choice not your action. But, I know what you mean about not wanting him (or you) to be hurt. It is called compassion for another human being. You can certainly be compassionate, but you must be strong. Because, trust me on this, life with a violent abuser is never a good place to be. If you have told him, and really tried to explain calmly, then you have fulfilled any obligation you may have had to him. You do not have to take his calls or answer the door at your parents' house or whatever. You have moved on and he will eventually too. Remember, he kicked YOU out. Actions have consequences. Time for him to try this stuff elsewhere. Good luck, my unknown friend.
2006-12-30 08:02:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he has issues. take it from someone who knows. i do. i dated someone for 2 years. and i knew after only about a year, that things were wrong. im almost positive he is bipolar, and a compulsive liar. so i know how hard it is to know how to leave, i fantasized about dumping him so many times i cant count, but was never strong enough to do it.
thats the thing you need to do, is be strong. you cant stick around with someone like that. it will kill you. he gets mad when you bring up the past because he knows hes wrong. and you have every right to worry about the past because things you do, reflect how you are. and he will probably do all of it again. be strong and get out of it before you have no way to. i was unlucky. i didnt get the chance to be the strong one who broke it off, but you can if you really want it. get away from him and let the police know that he may be stalking you.
2006-12-30 08:09:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all--i understand--i'm going through it too, however i have children and that complicates things more. just break all ties, he will never be just friends no matter what he says--if necessary get a restraining order and avoid places you two liked to go and don't go out alone--always go out with a group of friends. if you take separate cars make sure they walk you to it. watch your back and eventually he will give up. you can not take responsibility for his actions against himself. you may want to let his next to kin know of his suicidal threats and then let it go--stay uninvolved.
2006-12-30 07:59:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to contact the police. Get a restraining order if necessary. Tell them that you are in fear of your parents safety. If they don't do anything. Call the police EVERY TIME he shows up there.
2006-12-30 07:56:09 · answer #5 · answered by Melissa F 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a restraining order. Listen, it sounds like he is stalking your family also. So you better do something about it.
2006-12-30 07:56:56 · answer #6 · answered by Webballs 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get the police involved in this and please change your phone number and all other contact information before you do. Perhaps by moving...Be safe.
2006-12-30 07:56:33 · answer #7 · answered by Mille_D-Gurl08 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
womans refuge theres a name for people like this its stalkers!!
2006-12-30 07:57:46 · answer #8 · answered by lovelydarling1232002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
restraining order...
2006-12-30 07:54:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋