I am to marry a man in march. but just last week, we had a big fight that the his kids and my kids were in it. he told me that he had enough and took the ring back and told me that the wedding was off. now I am sleeping in my daughters room. I dont know if I want to go back to him. and I dont know if I could ever forgive him. should I forgive him. he has told me that he was sorry and that he said alot of mean things when he was mad. but I just can't for get what has been said. what should I do. should I just move out and walk away from it all. or should I just try to work things out with him. any help will be gratefull.
2006-12-30 07:46:43 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
People say alot of things in the heat of anger. And sometimes the hurt that is caused cannot be erased from heart & mind.
Only YOU can decide whether you want to spend the rest of your life with this man. But realize what has transpired has set precedence to the future. Think long and hard before committing to this person. Make sure it is EXACTLY what YOU want.
And yes, forgive this man; resentment will build and control your thoughts and keep you stuck. Forgivesness is for you, as well as for him. That still doesn't mean you have to marry this man.
2006-12-30 10:28:53 · answer #1 · answered by weddrev 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand were you come from. I have been married to my wife for 5 years. When we fight sometimes I open my mouth and insert my foot. I can not ever take back whatever I have said to hurt her but I can do my best to make up for it. Reading your question you are not married yet. If this fight happened and he says that the marriage is off and he takes the ring back, then maybe you both need to re-evaluate the relationship. If this fight has forced you to sleep in your daughters room then it might be time to re-evaluate everything and see if this is really what you want.
2006-12-30 15:59:25 · answer #2 · answered by RMF 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
put the marriage on the back burner for now. If you are going to resolve this issue, you have to be honest with each other and may even need family counseling. don't accept that the issue is resolved unless you each have agreed on positive steps that you all are going to take, and hold each other to that agreement. There are normal tensions when trying to amalgamate two families and the tensions can be horrific. Just because Mom and Dad are madly in love with each other, doesn't mean that all the other relationships are so rosy. If you can't fix this situation, you'd be better to hit the road, because there will be more of the same to follow for many years.
Al
2006-12-30 16:17:19 · answer #3 · answered by al b 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has a temper. Just so you realize that the next fight will only be worse than this one, this is not the worst you've seen him, by any stretch of the imagination. You're the only one who can decide if it's worth trying to fix the relationship or if it's time to move on. I would strongly recommend couples counseling if you do decide to stay in the relationship. Because you're going to HAVE to forgive him, if you want the relationship to succeed. Best of luck to you.
2006-12-30 18:18:53 · answer #4 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow! If he was that upset and took the ring back and now wants to give it back, whats to say he won't do it again later on.
If you are having doubts, any doubts, at least postpone the wedding. If you are that upset about the things he said, then obviously it isn't something you can just get over.
Perhaps you may want to looking into couples counseling if there is any doubt towards you wanting to continue to marry him.
2006-12-30 15:52:38 · answer #5 · answered by Melissa F 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men can say a lot of hurtful things, you have to think on the lines of how this will affect your children, and if you are willing to have this present a problem every time he gets mad. I would think long and hard before I made a lifetime commitment, and if you are not sleeping in the same bed then there is a red flag. I hope every thing works out for you.
2006-12-30 15:52:31 · answer #6 · answered by blueigurl34 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a rule : Nothing that starts out badly ends up nicely. You two aren't even married yet and already he took the ring back and basically threw you out ... what's he going to do when you have your first fight as a married couple ?
Maybe you've lucked out. Maybe you've been given a chance to see his true colors just in time. It's easier to end an engagement than it is to end a marriage.
Whatever you decision, Good Luck !
2006-12-30 15:54:45 · answer #7 · answered by mutt_buffer 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
we all go through arguments and everything that is said it hurts. You should work things out because if you were married and you argue you would try to work things out. this is probably a test on how you guys would do if you guys were married. Work things out and go with the wedding. good luck.
2006-12-30 21:52:17 · answer #8 · answered by needanswers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your're married then you made a committment. And you just made that committment. Give your relationship time to iron out. seek out counseling to try to remember why you got married in the first place and to learn how to communicate like mature adults.
2006-12-30 15:49:05 · answer #9 · answered by Jilli Bean 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Counseling, counseling, counseling.
Perhaps the person performing your ceremony will counsel you, otherwise hire someone to do it. There are children involved, this isn't a decision for strangers on the internet.
2006-12-31 06:32:48 · answer #10 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋