Motherhood?

Question

I am 23 years old and a new mother. My father is dictating when I should or should not bring my 5 month old baby outside, when and what I should feed her at each specific stage, etc. I am an educated person with a bachelor's degree, I have read several "Baby's First Year" books from cover to cover, and I believe that I am credible enough to make my own decisions about being a mother. Of course I go by the book on most things, but my instincts on many others.
Delimma: I was outside today with my 5 month old (it's 60 degrees out today--comfortable if bundled up), and let her swing for her first time today. I took pictures of her smiling while on the swing and sent the pictures to my dad. He sent a phone text back saying, "Too young! Bring her back inside!"
I just sent him this text message saying: "I promise I am saying this with heart and all-do respect to you. Mothers are given motherly instincts about their children's fun, health, and safety. We tend to go for it too. I would never want to hurt my daughter. It is 60 degrees outside. I need space and respect from you to raise my child the way I see fit. She has had all shots, she was warm, and she also had fun. Thank you for being overprotective though, that makes two of us! Love you!"
Then he replied: "Whatever." Now he's mad at me for taking her outside.

I would like to have some opinions on how to tastefully deal with someone like this. He lives nearly next door so I can't really nod my head at him and let this go, because I feel that his "advice" will snowball into much more than JUST advice later. Also, if I talk to him in person, he constantly "shoots" my opinions as well as my justifications down. I am willing to talk to him and come to terms with him like two adults, but I feel as if I can't. Any advice? Thank you!

Answer 1

You need to be honest with him. This is YOUR child, not his. Let him know that he did a great job at raising you, so he needs to let you raise your own child now. He raised you well enough to know how to raise your own child. If it gets bad, you'll have to tell him that you love him and want him in his grand daughters life, but not if he is going to be constantly shooting down everything you do.

Answer 2

It sounds like you already did what you could to help him understand that you are doing what you feel is right as a mother. Obviously, he loves you both, or he wouldn't care so much. At the same time, he is being way too overprotective. If I were you, I would act as if nothing were wrong. You've said your part, now give him the opportunity to let it sink in. If possible, think about moving. I know it seems extreme, but maybe it would help your relationship with your father to have some physical distance. Good luck.

Answer 3

simply by fact feminism is a replace for the eugenics pass. that's considered one of those fertility administration. If a society tells a woman to locate connect and fullfillment as mothers, thats what they are going to be, mothers. Their instincts tell them to accomplish that and society applauds it. in simple terms like in Islam or nazi germans, that's an severe occasion nonetheless. subject is overpopulation. start fees could desire to be decreased. One first attempt grow to be eugenics. besides the undeniable fact that there have been 2 issues of it, interior the long-term it would have led to tension, possibly even insurrection against washington, the different grow to be that Hitler who picked up euenics, interpreted them his very own way. Eugenics have been grimy after WWII and are to on the present time. usa directly found out which you cant administration a white inhabitants with opression, thats why we've and self sufficient u . s . a . interior the 1st place. SO women individuals mandatory to be made decide on what the leaders in seek of a 2.0 fertility cost wanted them to compliment. So the placement of motherhoold has been devauled and different expectancies than motherhood been placed unto women individuals. It would not help her maternal instincts, yet counters them. the result's that present day women individuals nevertheless attempt to fulfill their maternal instincts, yet they are countered by utilising different expectancies and desires created by utilising our society, which they attempt to fulfill/fulfill besides, so as that they are in simple terms able to regulate between 0-2 little ones.

Answer 4

This is your child and it doesn't sound like you are doing anything wrong. Frankly, your father needs to mind his own business and you should tell him so, but in as respectful of a manner as possible. Say, "Thanks for the advice, but I feel I am doing my job as a loving, responsible parent and I'd appreciate you having some respect for that." End of discussion. If he can't respect that (or you), you need to consider limiting your contact with him until he figures it out. Good luck!!

Answer 5

i am a grand motherof three ha well i tend to speak my mind to mydaughter but she listion to me she she 28 look your dad just cares thats all but if you think it was ok to take her out and she was warm and didnt, keep her out to long i think it is ok my daughter don,t drive and she walks every were when she can,t find a ride any way her kids are fine you do what youthink is for bestyour child you are the one raise it.and this won,t be the first time yourdad will getmadwhat you do so you raise her the whyyou think is righthe will be there no matter how mad he gets at you so take care of and do,nt worry you know what is right for her

Answer 6

If he is so much better at being a parent than why has he not written a baby book man what is his problem. You are alot nicer than i would be with my old man, i would tell him to shut the hell up if all he can do is criticize me. You are the only adult in that relationship and alot nicer than me.

Answer 7

Don't let your parents rule your life. Your an adult and it sounds like you know what you are doing. Its your life explain to your parents that she is your child and that if they can't respect that then they don't have 2 b a part of your life.

Answer 8

Tell him he had his turn to parent, its your turn now. Anytime he gets like that, leave. Letting him get his opinion out, but blow you off isn't helping you. If he can't respect your rights to parent your child, maybe you need to back away from him some.

Answer 9

tell him that its your child and you can take care of it by your self. yes you will take his advice but not every thing. she is not to young to be out side. just don't be out side for a long time.

Answer 10

My grandpa did the same thing to my parents. Just let him know how you feel.