how can i get my gf to stop lieing!?

Question

PLEASE READ!!!! IK ITS LONG BUT ITS MEANINGFUL
ive been datin a girl for a lil while and tryin to get her to quit smoking. in the begining of our relationship she asked me to quit drinking and i havent drank since then. she promised me that she would quit but i caught her not once but twice. this concerns me because if she would lie about something like that whos to say she wont lie about something more serious. im especially worried knowing that she cheated on her last boyfriend and i listened to a phone conversation after she broke up w/ him and she lied repeatedly to him about cheating on him. my favorite quote was "100% faithful!" when really she was fooling around with 3 other guys(me not being one of them) is there any chance that our relationship is different or am i just wasting my time. im so sick of worring about what stupid thing shes going to do and lie to me about. WHAT SHOULD I DO!?

Answer 1

Do me a favor. Read what you just wrote. Sit back and act like the guy ain't you. Now what would you tell him. And there's your answer. Your inner throughts would never lie to you. Start listening to yourself and believe.

Answer 2

You should put the trash out on the curb by the gutter from whence it came...Break up with her and find someone who does not lie and cheat. Once a cheater always a cheater. You need to remove yourself from this situation before you get hurt. Most likely she is using you like she uses everyone else in her life. Move on...you can do better. She's most likely lying to you about more than just smoking...get out now! Best wishes to you.

Answer 3

I agree with the others who wonder why you are with her? You had proof before you started with her that she lied (to her ex). A person who lies is afraid to tell the truth, but you don't want to be in a relationship that you have to be the therapist. After years of marriage, or a committment, maybe, but not starting out in a new relationship. Maybe you need a project to work on, and she is it. Better to get involved in something else that will take up your time and be more beneficial to you.
Figure out what hold she has on you, that you are still there, trying to 'fix' her, or find out why you feel you need to fix her at all, i. e. have a project in the works. Good luck on enjoying a new friendship with someone where you don't have to work so hard, and maybe it will develop into a relationship. First, friendship, then relationship. In that order. Have fun.

Answer 4

I hate to say it but I was once that girl. Now I am with a boyfriend that I could see myself spending the rest of my life too. Give her a chance dude... We all make mistakes but I'd say play ball- if she lies more than 3 times that you are aware of, she's out.

Good luck darlin- and as far as smoking goes... It's a hard habit to quit, give it some time... It sucks I know, but if in like a month she isn't starting to quit end it. But remember, she's on strike 1 for lying about smoking... she's on 2!

Answer 5

well i know from experience that once a cheater always a cheater however i also know that it changes somnetimes they never cheat again but one thing regardless of how much you hate her smoking you should never quit for someone always quit for yourself otherwise this is what is going to happen talk to her about her lies and if you catch her lieing one more time dump her you deserve better if you are so worried about it that you look for answers there are a lot of girls that deserve to have a loving boyfriend such as you more then she does

Answer 6

First off, neither of you should ask the other to do something to change them (ie smoking and drinking). Things like that are a personal choice and it has to be a personal decision to stop them.

As for the other stuff....... sounds like you have a real winner there. Why are you dating her when you dont trust her? You will never trust her so the relationship isn't going anywhere so you should cut it while you can.

Answer 7

I think it's time to find a new girl friend. You obviously can't trust her. Break up with her. Tell her why. Move on. And, don't start drinking again. That was the one good thing about your current relationship.

Answer 8

Honestly just think about it if really she loved you she would understand wat yr trying to do for her,she doesnt care about any1 from the looks of things I think you should listen to yr heart b4 YOU hurt yrself..and anyways only you will suffer for her flaws,its not easy yeah but what has to be done has to be done to the end!
If you really love her talk to her,warn her that you will leave her if she doesnt STOP then if she agrees and RESTARTS dump her cause you cant teach an old dog new tricks!!!
she doesnt deserve sum1 caring like you shes taking you probaly for granted!!!
So its either you or the smokes!!!!!!
She lied to heer other boyfriends so what makes you think shes not lying to you??
Nothing...So why are you still with sum1 who doest respect what YOU want or deserve??
Peace take care!!!!!!!!!

Answer 9

Believe it or not, I am going to share some words of wisdom I heard when watching Judge Judy. She said, "Liars LIE, That is what they DO!"

If someone is an adult and is lying all the time, they are probably not going to stop. Children grow out of this but adults do not. If an adult liar wants to stop lying, it might take years before he or she is willing to tell the truth when it is inconvenient.

Answer 10

Maybe you should split up. It may be best for your mental health and the stress she causes you. Of course sit her down and talk but a relationship without trust isn´t gonna last very long.