im in 30's. had a great plan for me and fiance soon to be wife and my daughter to move abroad. someone through a spanner in the works. we r now moving further away. all my family are upset. mum and dad etc, even though they live the other end of uk. parents given me grief on phone now sister. all because im moving away and they wont see my daughter there grandaughter. i understand that. but to shout abuse down the phone and just had the same from sister now (cow) anyway, what is supposed to be a happy exciting experience has turned into a bad one. What should i do. ??
2006-12-30 07:05:47 · 20 answers · asked by gooner1972 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
.well. it sounds as if your family loves you and there grandchild very much,,,,,, but,,,,, you are a grown man , and have the right to live any where you choose in this world, the most important people in this decision is you , your daughter, and your new wife,don't let your parents or sister control you any longer, take a stand and be a man , on the behalf of yourself and your daughter and new wife, your mom and dad and sister in the long run will find a new respect for you that they have never had before. when your family does call you and wants to talk about you moving , just be very firm and say, I've made my decision , and i want argue with you about it any longer and i don't have to explain myself to you or anyone else , you are just going to have to except and respect the decision I've made for myself and for my family, and if they insist on arguing about it feather with you tell them that you are busy packing, and that you want argue with them about this every time the phone rings,, because if the arguing continues , you will unplug the phone, lots of luck on your move and be happy and live your life for you ,no one has the right to control another persons life, and it looks like thats just what they have been doing to you, and now you have made a decision to move and there arguing with you trying to get you to not move , well,,, sir,, this is control, and you need to be away from your parents and sister if they are going to try to continue to control your life , life is to short to be told how to live it by someone else, it's your decision to move and your doing nothing wrong, by wanting to be move and be happy with out your parents interfearing, do what's best for you, no worries. happy new year,
2006-12-31 03:17:15 · answer #1 · answered by lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give them the silent treatment for a while and they'll get it.
Whatever their feelings, they have no right shouting abuse at you.
This is your life, and that of your wife to be. If you're both happy about your decision, just tell your parents in clear terms that they are going too far.
And really before you say anything you might regret just give them the silent treatment.
You need to be strong and sure of yourself to take your new professional responsibility as well as being there for your wife in a new place.
Take a break from your family. Don't let them undermine you or your confidence.
YOU are the one making the decision, it's your damn house, and future. Who better than yourself would know better what's best for you? Even if it means making a mistake.
You are at an age and a position when YOU are in charge and it's what you say that goes.
Good luck and be strong.x
2006-12-30 07:36:14 · answer #2 · answered by Kc 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since they feel so strongly that being close to family is more important than being able to live where you want to live, then your relocation won't be a problem because they'll all be moving house themselves to be nearer to you, right? Right? Oh... so it's just you who's supposed to make sacrifices, then. Gah. Families!
You should go anyway, obviously. It's the right thing for you and your immediate family, and they are the ones who you should be considering when making decisions that affect them.
It's something of a gamble with your family, and as a stranger I can't guess at the way they'll jump or when/if they'll calm down. Logically, since their stated problem is that they won't see their granddaughter, they won't push this to the extent of cutting you off or doing anything to jepordise (sp?) their relationship with you (since the result would be seeing less or none of her). But who can say? Sometimes people do have feuds that last a lifetime, over less important things than this. But even so - I still think you should go.
Yes, stick to your guns and hope that when it comes down to it their desire to see their granddaughter will be stronger than their need to punish you for making it less convenient for them to do so.
In the meantime, I'm sorry you're upset. :( I hope they get over it soon. Concentrate on all the things you need to get done and all the cool stuff waiting for you at the other end of this!
2006-12-30 07:23:59 · answer #3 · answered by Snakey B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
By shouting abuse at you over the phone, aren't they making the move that much easier? Do what is best for you and your fiance and daughter. In the end, they are your true family and the only people you should be worrying about. If this move is a good one for them, then who cares what your mum and dad think. They will have to get over it and learn to travel to see their granddaughter!
2006-12-30 07:23:26 · answer #4 · answered by Katie Rose 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand that you love your family, but your parents need to understand that you have a family to take care of. You are moving for the right reasons and you need to continue with your life. Your main concern should be your daughter and your new wife. If anything your parents should be able to relate to doing what is best for your family. They lived their life the way they needed to, theyhad children of their own, they are adults and they need be reasonable. You need to put your foot down. They will come around eventually.
2006-12-30 07:26:34 · answer #5 · answered by Liz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing you can do, why should you bend over backwards for a family that are in the wrong? Just leave them to cool their heels and get over it. The most important things are your daughter and soon to be wife. If your family are being selfish and ignorant about it, it's a sad pity, but there is nothing you can do about it, other than live your life for them. So leave them to cool down over it, and see if they want to grow up or forever cut their noses off to spite their faces.
2006-12-30 07:23:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave them to cool people react bad when they hear thing s they dont like and will say anything to hurt you like they are hurting. Rest assured they do not mean it. Speak to them in a couple of days and explain you want to see the world and provide a life experience to you new family and that in fact they will gain by visiting and if they do live quite far away you probably see them more.
2006-12-30 07:10:23 · answer #7 · answered by smokeyphoenix1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sure, it truly is accepted habit. My 25 month previous does this besides. I frequently tell him that he needs to "be a most suitable boy" "use quiet voices" and use the "shh" component cuz he's conscious what which potential. when we've organization over and he should be in touch contained in the action instead of going off and taking area in with toys or something I tell him specially what he needs to do, alongside with "sit on the settee, on your bottom" when we are in a public position alongside with a mall I once lower back am very particular about my expectancies alongside with "carry daddy's hand and use an interior quiet voice" keep it common and direct. and praise the strong habit, yet ignore about (if achievable) the undesirable and punish him with a 2 min time-out on a quiet bench or nook of the room if his habit is out of control. inspite of the indisputable fact that i might want to warn him earlier he starts misbehaving that, it truly is the end result for not following guidelines.
2016-12-01 08:24:45 · answer #8 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should be able to do what you want to do. your family has to realize that you are a grown man and are starting your family and it's your choice to move wherever you want. let them be mad, they will adjust once they know that you have carried out your decision. right now they are trying to force you to stay put. they don't want to lose their granddaughter - so, they'll keep in touch with you - they are just angry because they are not getting their way and won't be able to see their grandchild as often as they want - but, this is your child and your choice to live wherever you want. i wish you luck. don't let family ruin your dream and life. i wish you luck on your new venture in life. enjoy married life and let your family that you are now creating be the MOST important thing in your world.
2006-12-30 07:33:00 · answer #9 · answered by try 2 help 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps your family are not happy with their grand-daughter's new step mother - could that be the problem? I don't know but going on what you have said then if all is going well then they should be wishing you all the best.
2006-12-30 07:17:13 · answer #10 · answered by georgeygirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋