i dont want to move out, but to make my parent know that im 21 not like im 15 any more with them, they said (for new years example) if you want to spend the night fine and well but dont come home and your not a part of this faily any more i want to move out but not like that (i dont work unemployed for over a year and dont drive)
2006-12-30 06:42:50 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
They seem to be taking a hard stand against you for some reason that is not really clear and I don't think it has anything to do with New Years. It sounds as though they are telling you we will disown you if you spend the night which is ridiculous in my opinion. Have you done something to make them feel this way? Just because they care for you as if you were 15 just means they love you and want you to understand their concern for you. They are reluctant to let you go and see you out on your own. At least this is what I think. I remember when my father got very angry with me when I told him I was getting married and I was 22 at the time. He flatly told me, "NO YOU AREN'T!" In fact he screamed and yelled at me for weeks leading up to the wedding and when he threatened to disown me I just told him, "I'm sorry you feel this way dad, but I AM getting married whether you like it or not." I said it to him very calmly and patiently and still he screamed and yelled at me relentlessly. So it seems to me that you should calmly talk to your parents about what you want to do and why. I hope you can resolve this issue to your satisfaction. By the way, my father did not disown me but he stayed angry with me for the next 2 years but still I treated him with respect and love despite everything and so did my wife. We are now divorced and that is the sad part and my dad died about 12 years ago of cancer. We grew very close to each other up until his death. I really miss him.
2006-12-30 06:54:18 · answer #1 · answered by Lewis P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you want the best of both worlds, the luxury of being taken care of and the freedom to do what you want. As long as they are supporting you, I think they have the right to impose a few rules, after all it IS their house. At 21, you should be making plans for a future for yourself...get a job, save some money, move out when you are financially able. In the meantime, try to cooperate as much as possible, there is always the possibility that they would like you to move out as much as you want to. Not that they don't love you, but more that parents want to see their children become independent. And they have the rest of their lives waiting for them, too, as parents of grown children.
2006-12-30 15:01:50 · answer #2 · answered by harlowtoo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your parents will disown you if you get a job, save up the money, and find a place of your own.
They might say that, but in general, I think (speaking as a parent who may, for all I know, be older than your parents!) more moms and dads use that as threat than anything.
Are you the only child? Or the youngest? If so, maybe they don't want to go through the empty nest thing.
2006-12-30 15:04:24 · answer #3 · answered by Chrispy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a job first and save your money for a apt and make a budget to see what you will need to make it on your own.. If worse comes to worse you can do without a car to get to work , ride a bike, have a friend drive ya, take a bus or cab or walk... So that could wait..
But for now just suck it up with your parents till you get money
2006-12-30 14:46:20 · answer #4 · answered by Alexis221 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not the whole story, I realize.
"to make my parent know that im 21 not like im 15 any more"
Here's the answer: It's their house and YOU don't get to make the rules, no matter what your age, as long as you expect to live there.
The fact that you are unemployed and don't drive is NOT their problem.
2006-12-30 14:47:54 · answer #5 · answered by Thomas K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should think about getting a job and then driving yourself, and then once you have a income move out on your own, they have to let go at some point and you have to be able to learn to take the responsibilites of being an adult.
2006-12-30 15:12:07 · answer #6 · answered by blueigurl34 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got to focus on the task of moving out. It's the only way you'll gain personal growth. While under your parents roof, you have to live by their rules, I'm afraid. Focus - at 21, you should be working and ou.t
2006-12-30 14:46:55 · answer #7 · answered by VirtualElvis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move out- you're too old to live with your mom and dad now. Live your own life- as an adult, you're supposed to do that. Get a job, find a room for rent, and start living.
2006-12-30 14:51:37 · answer #8 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like they have you between the rock and the hard place. No job and don't drive. No way to support yourself. Not Good to be moving out.
First have to learn how to drive. then get transportation, then get job, then move out.
2006-12-30 14:47:01 · answer #9 · answered by JUAN FRAN$$$ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get a job and a car before I moved out. Otherwise, you will really suffer.
2006-12-30 14:44:35 · answer #10 · answered by Johnny Q. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋