Is it okay if a guy offers a handshake to the girl instead of the other way around?

Question

I love shaking people's hands, but I don't offer it to girls because I was told that it should be the girl who should offer the guy the shake between the two opposite sexes instead of the other way around. Girls, is it okay to you if the guys offer the handshake first?

Another question: If a guy is of higher status than the girl (provided that both people are aware of the guy's higher status), should the guy offer the handshake to the girl?

Answer 1

If you are a guy, and even if you introduce yourself first, rules of etiquette suggest that you should wait for her to offer her hand. This is a very old custom and is worth knowing even today. If a girl really doesn't mind shaking your hand let her offer her's first. That way both of you get want you want . . . and it's proper. It would be awkward to offer your hand after an introduction and have the girl snub your friendliness because she adheres to a bit of old fashionedness. (And for what it's worth - old fashion girls can be a lot of fun - I've been with one for 25 years)

Answer 2

I'm a professional person. I shake hands all the time. I'm quite certain I've never offended anyone by offering my hand to shake. I'm female, and I treat men and women the same - in fact I didn't really think about if there should be a difference.

Extend your hand first if you feel comfortable, and you feel it is appropriate. If you don't, then don't. It's not an IQ test, its just a greeting. Don't make it harder than it has to be.

The rules according to "iris", I've never heard before, nor do I practise anything remotely like them. If its a social setting, how does one know who has the higher status? If it is a professional setting, how do you know who is older? Seems a bit condescending to me to even use these criteria.

Answer 3

I'm not sure everyone else is familiar with this "rule" - I know I wasn't!

If you're with a group of people & shaking hands with them at introductions or when leaving - be sure to give an equal treatment to the men and women so they don't feel offended. You might want to pause a half-second for the women in case they want to extend their hand first - but if they don't you can still offer yours. Especially when dealing in a professional setting - you can't risk looking like you are treating the women at a disadvantage.

Answer 4

I haven't heard of this trend. Maybe it's because some women don't want to be touched and get offended? I don't know. I wouldn't be offended. Usually it's a mutual handshake anyway. I never thought women had to be the ones to offer their hand first. Hmmm.

Answer 5

When meeting a female if you are the one speaking first, then offer your hand at the same time smiling and saying "Hi, I'm John...". If the girl is the one introducing herself give her two seconds to extend her hand first. If she doesn't do it and seems open to it, then extend your hand with a smile.

If she seems shy, reserved, has her arms folded or is clutching something, or if she is not smiling, don't go for it.

Answer 6

The rules are
1) The person of higher status offers first (host or hostess, boss, president, famous person, etc.).
2) The older person offers first, if there's a significant difference in age.
3) The female offers first.

Answer 7

When you say a "handshake", do you mean a "handshake"? Yea, I like a handshake with ladies myself. Sometimes I offer a "handshake" sometimes she offers a "handshake" either way eventually we're destine to be a shaken! I don't get caught up in the formalities. :-)

Answer 8

It's okay with me.