English grammar, those darn commas?

Question

Johnny Jones was sitting alone one night in a bar located in the middle of nowhere. The location of this bar is unknown, and it cannot be found except by those who already know where it is. The event that occurred that night in the bar was so alarming to the world that it became knows as J.J. and the Bar Boys.

You see Johnny Jones or J.J. as his friends called him, was a former musician. A lot of people liked his music, but nobody bought it. You might ask how this could be? well, I’ll tell ya; not so long ago somebody somewhere invented what we call the internet. With this new invention any man could go to their computer and “download” any song that they wanted for free (the government tried to stop this but the internet grew to be so powerful that it could not be stopped). Anyways, that is why nobody bought Johnny Jones’s music, because they all “downloaded” it. Naturally, Johnny Jones hit some really hard times, he had to give up his music, sell his house, his wife left him and finally he burned his guitar for heat. He still had one thing though, the Chicago Bears, J.J. clung to them in times like this like no other man before him. The Bears gave him hope, something to brag about, and most importantly, his pride in being a native of Chicago.

I wrote this for an english assignment, and I suck at grammar, I would like to learn though so if anybody has any advice it would be much appreciated

are any commas in the wrong place?
are there commas lacking?

Answer 1

To the best of my ability, I have made grammatical changes. read it carefully. Hope it helps,

Johnny Jones was sitting alone one night in a bar located in the middle of nowhere. The location of this bar is unknown and it cannot be found except by those who already know where it is. The event that occurred that night in the bar was so alarming to the world that it became knows as J.J. and the Bar Boys.

You see, Johnny Jones, or J.J. as his friends called him, was a former musician. A lot of people liked his music but nobody bought it. You might ask how this could be? well, I’ll tell ya; not so long ago somebody somewhere invented what we call the internet. With this new invention any man could go to his computer and “download” any song that he wanted for free. (The government tried to stop this but the internet grew to be so powerful that it could not be stopped). Anyway, that is why nobody bought Johnny Jones’s music--because they all “downloaded” it. Naturally, Johnny Jones hit some really hard times. He had to give up his music, sell his house, his wife left him and he finally burned his guitar for heat. He still had one thing, though, the Chicago Bears, J.J. clung to them in times like this like no other man before him. The Bears gave him hope, something to brag about, and most importantly, his pride in being a native of Chicago.

Answer 2

Johnny Jones was sitting alone one night in a bar located in the middle of nowhere. The location of this bar is unknown and it cannot be found except by those who already know where it is. The event that occurred that night in the bar was so alarming to the world that it became known as J.J. and the Bar Boys.
Additional Details
7 minutes ago
You see, Johnny Jones, or J.J. as his friends called him, was a former musician. A lot of people liked his music, but nobody bought it. You might ask how this could be? Well, I’ll tell ya: not so long ago somebody somewhere invented what we call the Internet. With this new invention anyone could go to their computer and “download” any song that they wanted for free (the government tried to stop this, but the Internet grew to be so powerful that it could not be stopped). Anyways, that is why nobody bought Johnny Jones’s music, because they all “downloaded” it. Naturally, Johnny Jones hit some really hard times. He had to give up his music and sell his house; his wife left him and, finally, he burned his guitar for heat. He still had one thing though, the Chicago Bears, J.J. clung to them in times like this like no other man before him. The Bears gave him hope, something to brag about and, most importantly, his pride in being a native of Chicago.

Answer 3

In many instances, commas should be replaced by semicolons because the sentence shifts. A comma should not be inserted in the second sentence preceding the word "and."

I'd make the necessary changes to the following:

The event that occurred that night in the bar was so alarming to the world that it became knows (known) as J.J. and the Bar Boys.

You see, (comma) Johnny Jones or J.J., (comma) as his friends called him, was a former musician. A lot of people liked his music, but nobody bought it. You might ask how this could be? Well (capitalized), I’ll tell ya (use "you"; you're getting informal here)(period). Not so long ago somebody somewhere invented what we call the Internet. With this new invention any man could go to their computer and download (removed quotation marks). Naturally, Johnny Jones hit some really hard times; (semicolon) he had to give up his music, sell his house, his wife left him and, (comma) finally, (comma) he burned his guitar for heat. He still had one thing though (semicolon;) the Chicago Bears (period). J.J. clung to them (in times like this--delete) like no other man before him. The Bears gave him hope, something to brag about, and most importantly (important--never make it an adverb in this situation), his pride in being a native of Chicago.

Answer 4

Grammar is like interesting to use when you write a story or essay because it helps you use the same rules as everyone else. But we all need to stop comparing our use of grammar with a boring or extreme example of somebody else. First, you are doing great because you are getting lots of practice writing at school. And the more practice the better. Second, try to experiment with grammar. I know it sounds boring and unimportant. But the attitude will help you find out where you are at with this information. You need to try and ask your teach questions about grammar you want to know. And if you want to improve your writing there are more important ways to do it. You did a great job and don't sweat the small stuff. But writing is something you'll need no matter what you choose to do. So, keep trying to find ways to experiment with grammar. And keep asking questions of your teacher. Or don't do anything. I am a writer and I think you did a good job. Great question.

Answer 5

Check out the links below and websearch grammar and usage for more info.

Answer 6

i see nothing wrong. i enjoyed reading. maybe you should make writing your career and don't concern yourself with professors. the old saying is so true: teachers teach and those that can do, do." so just do do and forget the profs. you seem to be a natural.

Answer 7

I'm not sure there is an answer to this, though it was interesting.

Answer 8

oops