I'm 25, happily married and planning our first child. The problem is my mum is really petty. I see her usually twice a week. I always ask her if she wants to go shopping or out to lunch on a Saturday. Today, my aunt (whom I'm very close to and is more like a sister to me) phoned me and asked if I wanted to go out for lunch. I said yes and said I would phone my mum to see if she wanted to come. I phoned and it was engaged. I assumed that my younger brother was probably on the phone and that my mum would be away out as she hadn't phoned all day. I went out with my aunt and when we got to the restaurant we tried to phone her again but couldn't get a signal. When we left the restaurant we phoned her to see if she wanted to go shopping. She went ballistic for not asking her to go to lunch. Is this normal? I feel like I can't do anything without asking her all the time. She claims she never sees me etc but I always make the effort. She said she is cut to the bone cos I went out
2006-12-30 05:28:52 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
is it me? should I have tried to phone her several times before I left the house? Also, the restaurant we went to she doesn't even like. Any advice appreciated.
2006-12-30 05:29:55 · update #1
She knows I tried to phone her but she is just so unresasonable. It's such a ridiculous situation but these things happen all the time and she gets really upset at the smallest things.
2006-12-30 05:33:47 · update #2
Wow! No offense, but your mom is a major drama queen! I'd explain to her that you tried calling and couldn't get ahold of her to come for lunch. Keep it simple and then drop the conversation. If she chooses to act like a 13 yr old about it, then she can keep it to herself. You do not need to get involved in her drama. Remind yourself that you did nothing wrong and move on. She'll get over it. If she continues to make a stink tell her you love her, but remind her you're not joined at the hip. It sounds to me like your mom has centred her life around you so much that she's excluded hobbies and friends of her own. Maybe you should encourage her to take up some other pursuits that might get her off your back for a while. Good luck.
2006-12-30 06:08:10 · answer #1 · answered by Sue B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your Mum that the phone lines as well as the roads run both ways and half of the effort should come from her. She needs to realize that you have a life that is no longer attached to her apron strings. You did nothing wrong and she is over-reacting...she needs to get some therapy, get some friends of her own, find a Priest to confide her fears in, or get a Doctor to prescribe her some Welbutrin and get over her petty childish dramatic tantrums. Best wishes to you.
2006-12-30 05:46:44 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree: you can only be controlled w/your permission and cooperation! You tried getting hold of her, and you weren't able to. Don't let her affect you so much!
You're an adult, w/ a husband and about to become a mom yourself. Perhaps you need to put some space between you and her. Don't always ask her to go shopping w/you. Try to see friends.
You cannot always bend over backwards trying to please her. It sounds as if she's a difficult, self-centered person. Relax and live your own life.
Let her call you for a change. Try to loosen the ties a bit. Sounds like that might be what you need for your own peace of mind.
2006-12-30 05:34:43 · answer #3 · answered by 60s Chick 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to let her know you made an effort to contact her, you personally can't do more then that. She also may feel that you love the aunt more then her. Also how old is she? I know this may sound rude but check to see if she has alheimerz disease my dad's grandma was forgetting things like that and it turned out she had it. Otherwise calmly explain the situation to her.
2006-12-30 05:34:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to talk to your mother. Yes it's normal, not right but normal for some mom's to have a hard time letting go. Is there any other siblings left at home? She may be feeling lonely. Just set a time to see her each week, and let that be your time together.
2006-12-30 06:40:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it would be uncomplicated to assert your are 25 and that's time so you might strengthen up and give up letting others enable you to recognize what to do yet...in case you have this terrrific activity then why dont you have an the two superb homestead or condo of your guy or woman? in case you in simple terms stay with him on weekends then you definately 2 are in simple terms playing homestead. Why is that pleased with you??? mothers by no skill understand while to give up being mothers. in certainty as a mom of a 40 5 twelve months old daughter i'm able to enable you to recognize i'm nevertheless a mom no longer a chum. I dont run her existence yet many times I desire i could desire to take her the different way up, incorrect side out existence and turn it acceptable side out and iron it. She instructed me to yet out and lived 3 months with a guy and now she is elevating her son on my own whilst this guy is out making new little ones with different women individuals. She made questionable acquaintances who broke into her homestead one night and frieghtened her and the toddler so undesirable that she moved day after today into our homestead and stayed 2 years waiting to locate a place in our city she could desire to attend to to pay for. i'm going to enable you to recognize like I instructed her dont ask mom to %. up the peices while something is going undesirable in case you wont heed solid advice while that's given. And approximately mom being to blame for you desirous to kill your self...woman that's in simple terms BS... Do what you recognize desires to be accomplished to repair your existence and you will experience greater effective. turn it rightside out your self and iron it.
2016-10-28 17:57:00 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like my mom. I had to learn to the draw the line. I realized my mom has some issues that don't relate to me. I stopped feeling guilty and realized it isn't my job to make her feel better about herself and her life. You can only do so much. Don't let the guilt take you over.
2006-12-30 05:55:34 · answer #7 · answered by schmodijodi 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Try to be patient with your mom, she may be menopausal. It has a terrible affect on women.. I remember my mom doing the same things when she was going through menopause. Just try to ignore her pettiness, this will pass with time. Best of luck to you.
2006-12-30 05:38:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you tell her you tried contacting her? If she doesn't believe you you could always have your Aunt vouch for you. Ask her how she "never sees you" but you see her twice a week.
She needs to chill out.
Its not you, its her.
2006-12-30 05:36:13 · answer #9 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U kinda have to understand that ur mother is trying to control u cuz she misses having you in the family. u have a life and a family. but she wants to have something to do with the kid that ur expecting. like she doenst wanna be left out.
2006-12-30 05:34:46 · answer #10 · answered by SuWizzle 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋